Style Your Own World…

“Don’t let anyone in the world tell you that you can’t be exactly who you are!”

 

The Fashion Industry brings out “new” colors and styles every season, and pretty much they are just a variation from something that has already been around.  Some you might love and want to wear and others you won’t want to be seen dead wearing…so how do you decide what does and doesn’t work for YOU?

Just because a color or style is “in” doesn’t mean that it is something you have to wear, or something that will look good on you.  Trust me, there are some styles that have been around before and I didn’t like them before, so chances are I’m not going to like them this time either.

 

 

I am pretty in tune with what works for me and what doesn’t, but there are still times when I go shopping and think that I would like to try something new.  So, I grab a few things, take them into the changing room, and here’s the important part…once I have them on, I really give myself a close look in the mirror and evaluate myself based on what I know about myself.  If something I’m wearing isn’t in tune with my style, my personality, my lifestyle or my environment, I don’t buy it.  We all come from different walks of life, have different upbringings, different home and work environments, and also we all live in different climates.

Just to put things in perspective, here are a few things I currently avoid and why:

  1. Hot pants or booty shorts – I feel like unless I am on the beach, they are inappropriate for my age and I feel like they make me look “trashy”.
  2. Outfits that show off too much cleavage – again the age thing, but also because I feel like I like to leave more to the imagination.  In my experience, less is more and is much more classy!
  3. Cowboy boots – not that they don’t look great, they are just not in tune with my personality.
  4. Overalls – I wore them at one time but I feel for me, it’s better to leave that in the past 😉
  5. Mom jeans – again this is a style I have worn before, and when I went in and looked at pictures of myself then I wish myself now would have told me NO!!  Mom jeans are great for many body types, however they do have a tendency to accentuate your stomach and make it look larger than it actually is.

Of course the things I avoid may be some things you like, and you should definitely wear what is in YOUR style…

The key to style is being true to yourself!  As you see magazines, blogs, TV, Instagram, Pinterest and many other social channels you will see lots of variations in styles, some of which you may love and others you may hate.  As you look at the different styles, stay in tune with yourself and if you want to learn and expand your style…watch those that resonate with you.  We are all works in progress, just as styles, seasons and colors change, so do our experiences.  Very often our experiences mold the styles we have and who we are.

I make it my goal to learn something new every day, and if you can take one thing from this post, I would say that be open to new possibilities but don’t ever deviate from what feels good for you.  The better you feel about your style and how you look, the more confidence and assurance in yourself you will have!

 


How to Harness your Inner Strength

 

“Strength doesn’t come from what you can do.  It comes from overcoming those things you once thought you couldn’t do!”

 

This weekend I wanted to talk a little about how overcoming challenges is really what makes us who we are. I am sure you have heard this many times before, but have you ever sat down and written down those things that you have gone through (you know, the ones where you weren’t sure if you were actually going to make it or not), with the sole purpose of looking at them in retrospect?  I have found that many, many things don’t make sense to me when I am going through them, but as I look backwards things become clearer, I realize that I am actually stronger and that I have actually made it!

At this point in January there are going to be a lot of resolutions that have already been pushed aside because we’re too busy or life has just happened.  It’s ok, if this is true of you, you’re definitely not alone, and you shouldn’t beat yourself up too much.  But, if you really are looking to make 2018 YOUR year…here’s something you can do to help make that happen…

As I talked about earlier, writing down the amazing things you have survived, worked through and learned from is fabulous, but what if you took it one step further…

What if, instead of just acknowledging those things, what if you really thought about how they made you better.  For example, has one of your experiences taught you patience, are you better equipped to handle “certain types of people”, or even are you more determined and stronger than you have ever been before.  All of these skills are things that can be harnessed to help you be more successful and happy this year.

Whatever your experiences, looking for a silver lining of some way you grew or learned is the best way to grow.

And remember, breathe, you may be having a hard day, but it doesn’t mean that it’s a hard life!

The Power of Positive Thinking

“Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough”

 

We all have things that we want in this life, personal goals, professional goals and goals for our children or families.  The question is, how badly do we want to achieve these goals?  I have found that the more I want something, the more determined I am to get it, and the more effort I exert.  Of course, a huge part of achieving our goals is tied to our ability to be positive about it.

Have you ever wanted something but all you have done is focus on being upset because other people are doing better, getting frustrated because you haven’t achieved it yet, or even self-sabotaging your efforts because it’s easier to explain away why you didn’t really try to achieve something than it is to put forth the real effort.  In our own lives it can be hard to look introspectively and see where we might be going wrong, but it is absolutely necessary.  I watch my kids, and I notice when they want to quit something what emotions it brings out in me.  I have an easier time talking to them about how falling down or facing obstacles is not the same as failing, it is just a great opportunity for us to become stronger and better.  It’s not as easy when I face those challenges myself…

*This post may contain affiliate links, which means at no additional cost to you we may receive a commission if you purchase something from one of these links*

Over the past few years I have faced many challenges in my personal life and in my career, but the amazing thing about all those things is that it has taught me so much and made me a much more empathetic and stronger woman.  Even though I am not where I want to be (and to be honest I’m not sure I ever will be exactly where I want), but I do feel like my thoughts are focused in a much more positive direction.  I wouldn’t say I am to the point where I welcome a challenge by saying “bring it on” but I am definitely able to allow myself to be open to the fact that I can learn something, and I am excited about growth opportunities.

 

So, how do you remain positive when all around you is filled with challenges and chaos?

 

Here are some of the ways I have found work for me:

  1. I focus on what good I can see in every situation.  When challenges come my way I always look for the silver lining (what I learned, how I became better at, or even who could I help with this).
  2. Visualization has always been something I have liked to do – not to the point where I am envisioning a house that I want and I have already moved in, but rather I could see myself there, what steps do I need to take to make it happen?
  3. When work is chaotic or overwhelming, I like to think about the things I can control – I like to spend more time doing things that replenish my energy rather than drain it, like spending time with my family.
  4. Finally, I love myself.  No matter what is going on, I focus on loving myself.  When you feel positive about yourself (not just how you look but who you are), other things no longer carry any power.  All is well in your inner world, so the outer world mirrors that!

 

The mind is a powerful thing, why not use it to your advantage?

 

“We can rewire the patterns in our brain with the cognitive behavioral affirmations. It is not just the fluff, woo-woo stuff. Positive thoughts change the way our brain is wired. It really has biochemical, neuro-chemical affects on our brain.”  – Louise Hay

 

 

10 Tips for Feeling Feminine without Giving up Who You Are!

 

 

“A Woman is the full circle.  Within her is the power to create, nurture and transform!”

 

I was raised in a home with only boys…meaning that there was a lot more physical fighting to resolve differences rather than negotiating. I am the oldest, but that didn’t mean I could avoid the fights, but rather I had to become smarter about how I did it.  After about the age of 12 I couldn’t match up physically with my brothers, but I could outsmart them.  I learned some tricks (OK, some of them were dirty) but nevertheless, I not only survived my youth but I actually thrived.

For me being raised in such an environment taught me mental and physical toughness.  I am not a quitter, and I don’t like to appear vulnerable (it was considered a weakness).  Even after telling you all these things, I can tell you that it didn’t take away my feminine side.  In fact, it has taught me to embrace what God gave me, and make the most of it wherever possible.

So, let’s get down to it – what are my tips for feeling feminine and using that femininity to your advantage – because, I believe that we were all given gifts, so why not develop them and use them?

  1. Wear a nice smelling perfume or body lotion.  I know not everyone will agree with this one, but whether you like strong smells or not, when you wear a perfume, that perfume contains chemicals that our bodies react to…and some certain smells are going to make us “feel” good.  It’s a physiological thing – give it a try 🙂
  2. Choose your fabrics wisely – ever noticed that when you are snuggled up on the couch with a blanket, you feel safe, secure and cozy?  Fabrics and how they feel on our skin can also evoke certain feelings. Silk, for example feels luxurious, sexy and feminine, whereas fleece is more about keeping warm. Choose the fabrics that fit the mood you are trying to create!
  3. Take care in how you speak – I have been known to intimidate people because I can be very direct. That is not my intention, however, that is the response that it creates.  So, when I am embracing my femininity I am much more conscious about not only what I say, but mostly how I say it.  Being direct is something that is very controversial, I feel like it is frowned upon when Women do it, however, what I have found is that I can still be direct and concise, but if I do it with a non-aggressive tone, I am much more likely to find positive results.
  4. Wear your favorite colors – certain colors make us look and feel more confident and vibrant.  Bright colors are a great way to show off your personality – not to worry if you are not a fan of bright, bold colors…just add a pop of color in an accessory or lipstick to add that extra dimension to your look.
  5. Go old school – in history Women wore many more dresses and skirts, in fact, they even wore them when they were doing tasks the same as the men such as farm work, etc.  Even if you are not a fan of skirts or dresses, you have to admit that when you see someone wearing a skirt or dress, you notice the legs, the shoes, pretty much the whole look draws you in.  I’m not saying you have to wear a skirt or dress every day (heaven knows I wouldn’t do that) but perhaps you add to your feminine style repertoire you could add them in every once in a while.
  6. Don’t try to too hard – being feminine is something that is subtle yet confident.  Less is so much more, wearing too many ruffles, pleats, patterns or lace can just be too overwhelming and create a really confusing look.
  7. Recognize your strength – femininity is not weak (contrary to popular belief), in fact throughout history many strong Women have shown their feminine side.  When I was younger and much more immature, I thought that in order to get anything done, I had to be aggressive and overpowering. What I have come to realize is that there is so much power in femininity and actually it is much better to embrace your femininity and approach things that way.
  8. Take pride in your appearance – I know there may be a popular belief in Men that we as Women dress for them (should we let them into our secret?)…We all know that confident, self assured Women are themselves and dress present themselves the way that THEY want to!  With that being said, it is important to take pride in your appearance, but for yourself.  Wear your hair in the way that makes you feel great about yourself, and your hygiene should be good.  There’s nothing wrong with wearing something that accentuates your curves, so long as you are doing it for the right reasons 🙂
  9. Be a good listener – I have found that I feel better about myself when I know I am there for people.  Loyalty in friendship is vital to my wellbeing, so when I am THERE for my friends, it makes me feel better as a person.
  10. Be confident – if you do the things listed above, you are most likely going to feel this anyway, so why not show it off.  There is nothing more attractive than a confident Woman.  When I say attractive I don’t just mean in a sexual sense, but also in the way that people will want to be around you.  The better you feel about yourself, the better people will feel about you and hence want to soak up that confidence.

I no longer believe that being feminine is weak – I believe that it is a gift we have been given and we should nurture it.  It was never hard for me to dress in a feminine way, but my actions and behaviors were sometimes contradictory…I am still a very assertive, confident woman, but I am working on presenting myself in softer ways!

 


Satin and Ruffles

“Shine like the whole universe is yours!”

Black Satin Disco Pants (American Apparel):  Available here   Ruffle Sweater (14th & UNION):  Available here Lipstick(MAC):  Available here

Whether you are a clothes junkie, a shopaholic or not, I bet you could still find those 2 or 3 things in your closet that are your favorites…you know those things that you turn to when you are feeling like you want to really step it up!

Today I’m talking about just 2 of mine…satin and ruffles.  Now this doesn’t mean that I don’t love, love, love leather, it just means that today, I’m talking about 2 other things.

You’ve probably seen me post these pants before, and that’s because they are probably my favorite pair of pants…here’s why:

  1. They are shiny 🙂
  2. They are really stretchy but also they really compress everything and hold in all those areas you might not want to show.  The high waist means that you won’t suffer from the problematic “muffin top”.
  3. They are really versatile and work really well to create casual, dressy and sassy outfits.
  4. They wash really well and don’t require any special care.
  5. They are very flattering and make me feel very sexy.

If these things weren’t enough, the cost for these pants is very reasonable – they come in a variety of colors, but Black always has to be my favorite.

 

Next, the ruffle sweater…what I love about this is that it adds a layer of femininity to this more edgy look. Being feminine and not being afraid to show it is one thing that I have come to harness of the past few years.  I have found that the less aggressive (OK, I know, I didn’t say I wasn’t aggressive, just that I liked to be feminine), the more vulnerable and sensitivity I show, the better results I get.  You can get a lot more with sugar than vinegar, so I choose to work on that side of my persona and ruffles definitely help give that perception too…sometimes, a perception is enough to influence someone into thinking something about you – good or bad!

 

Because the outfit was head to toe Black, the pop of color I added was with a MAC lipstick (Cosmo)…

 

I shared my outfit on Instagram here – if you don’t already follow me…check it out!

 


2018 is going to Sparkle

“She who leaves a trail of glitter is never forgotten!”

 

Cheesy caption, but I can tell you this…one thing that came to me while I was contemplating what happened to me in 2017 and how I was going to improve that for 2018, was how I really can affect what happens to me primarily by how I react to it.

Have you ever noticed that when things are going well, EVERYTHING seems to work so much better, there’s kind of a flow and we seem to attract more and more great things into our lives.  It seems almost logical that we would want to continue that kind of attraction…but because we are human, it is not always sustainable to be positive all the time.

 

Knowing that my behavior and attitude can very often determine my results, I made a choice for this year (at least most of it), that I will “sparkle” and be a positive force.  My family tells me all the time that when I am down, angry or just sad, it seems to affect the whole mood in our home.  That’s a lot of pressure, and not something I want put on me…but it’s also quite an amazing ability to know that I can help my family feel more happy, strong and positive!

In keeping with the theme of this post, the sparkly/glitter pants I am wearing are some I bought just before Christmas from H&M and they are really fun (and even better, they’re on sale).  Sparkles are not just for the holidays or special occasions, just like sequins, I think they work whenever you really want them to!  I added a white blouse with a gathered waist (similar one shown below), a long black cardigan and some sock booties. I have also recently fallen in love with some Stila liquid eyeshadow colors that I am wearing in this post.  If you haven’t tried liquid eyeshadow, you definitely should give it a try (I’m definitely sold!)

A great, simple, sparkly outfit – just in time to set you up to have a sparkly 2018 too!

 

 

 

A Few of my Favorite Things…

“What you tell yourself every day will either lift you up or tear you down!”

 

Ok so this may be a little Sound of Music-esque, but nevertheless, I have some things in my closet that when I wear them I just feel amazing.  It has nothing to do with what anyone else things, they truly are a few of my favorite things…

 

So let’s start here – this dress, the color, the cut, the length, and fabric, in fact to save even more time, I could say EVERYTHING about this dress just makes me feel amazing.  Now the dress alone could be enough for me to walk into any room with my head held high knowing I look good and just have that air of confidence, but I decided to take it up a notch and add a Leopard coat (if you don’t own one or haven’t thought about buying an animal print coat, you should really reconsider now), and some amazingly funky tights and boots.  Yes, this outfit is very bold, yes it is going to get you noticed, and yes, if you dare to wear it and trust that you can rock it, you WILL feel good about yourself.  (feel like you want to shop my outfit, check out the links below – the best news, the dress is almost FREE 🙂 )

This post may contain some affiliate links, meaning, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase.

 

If you have read any of my previous posts you know I am not one to condone copying someone else’s style in its entirety, however, if you see someone wearing something and it evokes some kind of feeling inside you making you want to just rush out and buy it, there’s something to be said for trusting your gut.  Not that we get it right all the time, but a lot of the time those feelings come from us already knowing what we like and what we think we can get away with (when I say get away with, I really mean more on the side of styles or cuts than colors or patterns).

 

Being bold is not for the faint of heart, you absolutely have to be prepared to cause people to stare, people to comment (not all of which are nice things because there are people out there that are just bitchy and like to say mean things), and most definitely you are going cause people to really notice you.  I don’t just mean by looking at you, but it’s kind of weird, I have noticed when I am wearing something really sassy and noticeable, people actually tend to listen more to what I am saying.  It’s almost as if they think that suddenly I have more knowledge or understanding of a subject.  Of course, logic tells you that this is not true, but you know as well as I do that there are “power” outfits, and those outfits absolutely without a doubt make people pay attention and take you more seriously.

 

I could get into bold doesn’t have to mean trashy, but I think we’ll save that for another day.  To me, bold means confident, absolutely OK with being yourself and not afraid to show others that you feel good about yourself.  It doesn’t mean you need to have people looking at you for you to feel good about yourself, but it does mean if they do, you’re fine with it.  I am drawing that line in the sand – don’t get mixed up by needing attention versus just getting it.

 

Confidence isn’t something that everyone just inherently has, but rather something that needs to be nurtured and grown.  So why not start 2018 by taking steps to grow your confidence – because if you do, that confidence will help you in all areas of your life.

 

Be bold – be brave – be you!

 


Crossover Outfits Made Simple

“You will never influence the world by being just like it!”

OK, so we may be into the New Year but that doesn’t mean that your party or fun styles have to be retired to your wardrobe.  In fact, what a great way to move into a New Year by keeping your style fresh, funky, versatile and most importantly YOU!

This post may contain some affiliate links, meaning, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase.

There are lots of style that people wear for business or work that you wouldn’t want to be seen wearing if you had a dinner or get together right after work, but I’m happy to tell you that’s its not too hard to create a look that works for both!

 

 

Today’s post is one of those outfits.  It is a simple dress, but by adding some sparkly tights, and a fun faux fur jacket, it makes it a more non-traditional work style that you wouldn’t mind being seen wearing after work in a restaurant or wherever you might be going.

 

I have never been a big fan of conforming to any traditional style – I much prefer to tailor it to my personality…it is what makes me who I am!  The greatest thing about styles and what we wear is that it can announce us before we even speak.  If you’re someone with a big personality wouldn’t you want what you wear to say that about you.  You might even be someone that is kind of shy but doesn’t want to be…so why not let your clothes and outfits do the talking?

 

Still unsure about what really expresses who you are?  Then here are a few ideas that might help you…

  1. Ask yourself – do I want to be noticed or fly under the radar?
    • If the answer is yes, then you would want to wear “louder” more colorful clothes, whereas if you prefer to not be noticed, sticking with muted or traditional styles and colors are going to be where you want to live.
  2. Are you confident about your body and how you look?
    • If the answer is yes, wearing form fitting, bold styles and colors are going to make you feel great about yourself.  If you answered no, then wearing styles that accentuate your body are not going to be where you want to go (wearing a skirt that is tight around your stomach if you are conscious of that area is only going to make you feel uncomfortable and insecure).
  3. Are you worried about how others are going to look at you?
    • The most confident people know that when they wear certain things they are going to attract attention (not always good because there are always going to be people that are going to judge you), but they are OK with that.  They know how they feel about how they look and that is enough for them.  Therefore, if you are still not confident enough in yourself to wear those things you like without worrying about others, then you probably ought to stick to less outrageous outfits until you sidebar what others think!
  4. When you get dressed, who are you dressing for?
    • This is probably one of the most important questions you can ask yourself.  All too often I see people dressing for how they think their friends, their spouse or their boss might want them to. There is a huge problem in this because we are not being true to ourselves.  I have always marched to the beat of my own drum, but I do see very often people not knowing how to dress and buying things because they think it is something that someone else would like.  Confidence comes from knowing who we are, and not being afraid to show that…

The best gift you can give yourself is the gift of allowing you to be you!

You can shop items similar to my outfit by clicking the links below…


Get up, Dress up and Never Give up!

 

“Believe you deserve it and the universe will serve you!”

 

Unfortunately it is the time of year here in Utah where the air quality is not great, we may or may not have a snow storm, but chances are, it’s going to be really cold.  With the poor air and inversion that we suffer with in the valley it very often brings colds, flu and other ailments that are never good but can really set you back if you don’t take care of yourself properly!

 

The reason I’m telling you this is because when I did this shoot, I had a cold and didn’t have any energy, but I knew I needed to do it because, well, just because I committed to it, but also because writing my blog is more important to me than taking a little time with some chicken noodle soup on the couch…

 

 

I have always been one of those girls where unless I literally can’t walk and I’m bleeding I don’t like to let anything stop me from what I need and want to do.  As a mum of four boys that works full time as well as having this blog, I am sure you can imagine that my life is pretty full, and that doesn’t even count anything I want to do for fun 🙂  I have found that I can sometimes be my worst enemy in that I don’t like to ask for help but that can sometimes cause me to feel resentful (even though logically I know that I brought the chaos onto myself by not asking for assistance!)

 

One of things I worked on this holiday season (which is probably one of the most hectic times of the year, not just for Christmas but also for my job because it is busiest at the end of each year), I allowed other people, specifically my husband and kids, but also co-workers and other people I know, to help me with things I would normally have just powered through myself.  Are any of you like me where you feel like you have to be a “soldier” and you are on the front lines just slogging through the day only to find at night that you just want to fall into bed and you really haven’t enjoyed yourself along the way?  Whew!  It’s not a good place to live I tell you…and the worst part, it’s so unnecessary!

 

So how do we change the way we have always been?  Is it who we are?  If you are like me and struggle with any of these things, here’s something to think about…by not asking others to help or by not including them in what you’re doing, you are taking the opportunity to serve away from them.  What do I mean?  When you do things for others does it make you feel good?  Are you that person that is always reliable, always giving, doing or just being there for others?  If you can answer yes to any of these questions then you know what an amazing feeling it is when you know that you’ve done something for someone else…right?!  Conversely if you don’t let anyone experience that feeling by doing something for YOU, aren’t you robbing them of that experience?  I know all of this stuff logically but I can tell you, it’s still hard for me…but I do know unless I teach my kids (and my husband) how to serve others, then I am doing them a disservice!

 

 

I definitely rolled into 2018 with a really positive attitude, great goals (one of which you read on Sunday), plans and aspirations…so now the key is to continue as I have started (yes, I know, it’s only been 1 day), but nevertheless, it’s still hard to keep to a path you have laid out for yourself, unless the goal means so much to you that quitting is not an option!

 

You are going to see a lot of people talking about goals, asking you what your goals are…and you may or may not want to share.  The key is to have goals to have things you want to do, even if it is to keep doing what you have always done, and just be better at it.  We all have our own paths to walk, but I can tell you, no matter who you are, whether you make goals for yourself or not, there are going to be things thrown into your path that are going to make you grow whether you like it or not, so nobody is going to have an easy ride.  Might as well set yourself something exciting to achieve so you are not letting life just happen to you!

 

Happy New Year…and by the way, the outfit I’m wearing in this post is an amazing velvet dress, with a leather jacket and leather booties.  You can shop a similar velvet dress, leather jacket, and booties by clicking the links below (who doesn’t love a luxurious velvet dress with a great leather jacket? :))

 


Top 4 Fabrics Every Closet Should Have

“I’m cut from a different cloth and they don’t make the fabric anymore!”

Christmas may be over but the get-togethers, parties and dressing up opportunities are not over yet…so throw on some Red lipstick and rock your own unique style!  No matter what I’m wearing, if I add some bold lipstick, it adds a layer of confidence and power to my look. The Red I am wearing is an Ulta brand Red #202.  I love how warm the Red is, and if you are picking a Red to wear for yourself, bear in mind that the undertones in any Red work differently with different skin tones.  It’s actually kind of fun trying different Reds to see which ones work for you – and an added bonus is finding one that lasts for a while (even if you lick your lips often like I do) – Matte’s tend to work better as long-lasting colors.

If you are planning on a New Year’s Eve party this year, there are some amazing luxurious fabrics out there that can make you look really special.   Some of my favorite party picks are…

 

 

Velvet Pant Suit

I have seen many of these style suits, some with contrasting colored lapels on a Tuxedo style jacket, and some with a more feminine wrap style jacket.  The Velvet fabric is cozy yet classy and a perfect look for any New Year’s Eve party to get together.  If you do choose to wear a non-traditional style outfit like this for your party, the great news is that it can be repurposed and worn for business and also a less formal occasion.  If a suit is out of the question, add just a little velvet like I did with my cool leather cropped pants in the form of a Moto jacket…

 

Sequins

I don’t think anyone is ever too old to wear sequins, so choose a kimono style jacket, a pencil skirt or even a mermaid sequined top  – whatever type of sequins you choose, you will make a statement and look fabulous.

 

Leather

I don’t think I could post about a great party look without including leather.  It is always a great choice, and pretty much anyone can wear it.  Whether you choose a leather skirt, pants, top (like in this post), or coat, the possibilities of outfits you can create are endless.  By adding a soft mohair or fluffy sweater you will keep the look feminine, and if you are looking for something a little more sexy you can combine the leather with either velvet or sequins.

 

Fur

Last but not least…fur is always a great way to dress up any outfit.  I love finding a sweater with fur accents, or a fur top, or even just simply adding a fur jacket or coat to make an outfit a winning look.  Fur is probably the most luxurious of fabrics and has the ability to make any kind of look absolutely fabulous!