Posts

You Were Born to Stand Out

If people were rain – why be drizzle when you can be a hurricane?!

I remember when I started my first sales job, I would be working at my desk (even before I had my own computer and had to just make phone calls), and would need a break every so often…so I would jump up and take a walk around the office. I had quite a few people tell me that they always knew it was me because my walk was so distinctive. I don’t know if I knew exactly what they meant until someone told me that I “walk with purpose” that I got it. What they were telling me was that I knew where I was going, what I wanted and that no matter what I was going to get it!

Since I quit my job last year, I haven’t been quite so sure in my direction, what my ultimate purpose is, but I haven’t changed the fact that I walk with purpose. In fact, I think I actually do it even more now because it just feels right to me.

No matter what are goals are, where we are going or what we are working towards achieving, the absolute only way we will ever get there is if we are decisive and determined to get there. Walking with purpose is only part of the equation, we have to believe with all the fiber in our being that we WILL get there, otherwise we never will.

I thought the quote for this topic was perfect because I believe that if I want to chase my dreams I have to do it in a way that makes those dreams notice that I coming, and what better way than a hurricane to do that? 😉

What if we all believed that we were destined for great things, that there was truly nothing to hold us back, would our goals and dreams change?

Would we focus on bigger things because there was no reason that we weren’t going to get there?

Would we allow ourselves a little grace when we fell down knowing that we will once again get up and still reach the dreams?

When I talk about dreams, I am not talking “pie in the sky” or something that only involves visualization (not that visualization is bad, but without the work it doesn’t mean anything)…I am talking belief in ourselves, trust that we can make something happen, knowing that we are enough to be who we want to be…

So knowing that…what goals would you set knowing that you are enough to achieve them?

I Believe in Superheroes

Weakness is a Superpower in Disguise!

I have always loved the superhero movies – maybe because I grew up in a home with only brothers and now I only have sons. Nevertheless, when a new movie comes out I am the first to want to be there, and I absolutely love them!

With all of that being said, I do believe that the world actually has REAL superheroes. I don’t believe in them in the same way that Superman can fly or Aquaman (oh boy! Aquaman…) can actually survive underwater, but more in the sense that we all have our own super powers should we choose to use them.

Shop my look by clicking the links at the bottom of this post…

Our family went to watch “Glass” earlier this week, and for those of you that have seen that or seen “Unbreakable” or “Split” you may get where I am going with this. I don’t want to be the one to ruin this movie for you just in case you haven’t seen it, but just know that in the movie things you would not expect to be superpowers or strengths actually are what make the characters super-human. I really enjoyed the movie and would definitely recommend it. Unbreakable was the prequel to this movie and released in 2000. In that movie Bruce Willis’s character was the sole survivor of a train wreck and it was at that point after he had experienced such trauma that he realized what his superpower was.

After I watched it I started contemplating how if in the movie (and yes, I do know that it was not based on fact), if it was possible to have strengths or superpowers, then why not in real life? I have always believed that our talents or strengths are actually our superpowers. We are not all good at the same things, and that is what makes us stronger and more unique.

The quote I posted at the top of this blog is one that really resonated with me, because if we consider our weaknesses and how they can stop us from reaching our full potential, how amazing would it be if we converted those weaknesses into our strengths?

So, if we consider our weaknesses and how we can turn them into our strengths, what is the one that you really want to be your superpower? I would love to say that I am going to turn the fact that I am not the fastest runner into me being The Flash, but in the real world, that will never happen. So, I am going to focus on those things I know can make me stronger, more confident, resilient and happy!

For now – I consider my superpowers to be: I believe I can do anything if I put my mind to it, confidence, empathy, and inner strength. What are yours?

Step Outside of your Comfort Zone

You are only confined by the walls you build yourself!

For one person their comfort zone may be really small meaning that they won’t try anything challenging or intimidating…whereas the next person may take on new challenges willingly. The size of our comfort zone isn’t the thing that holds us back, because even if you are the most daring or confident person out there, there is always something that may be your kryptonite or something that really holds you back.

You have probably realized if you have followed me on social media, or if you have been reading my blog, is that I am a pretty confident woman. I moved from England not knowing how I was going to make a life for myself and my son. That was 20 years ago, my son was 3, I was a single mum and even though moving here was intimidating and uncertain, I jumped at the chance because I knew that the other option of staying in England didn’t present the same prospects or opportunities for us.

Over those 20 years I have taken on new challenges, and not all willingly, but the key is I have taken them on. About 4 months ago I was approached about starting a Video Podcast with a local Radio Station here in Salt Lake. It was right after I had handed in my notice from my sales job, & it seemed like perfect timing…so why did it scare me so much?

I have talked a little about when I first started my blog how I hated to have my picture taken all the time, I didn’t want people to see me having my picture taken and it made me worried that people would think that I was being conceited by posting pictures of myself all the time. I definitely don’t have that problem anymore, and the only way that I don’t is because I have done it so many times that it is now “comfortable”. I realized as soon as the fear of the Video Podcast came up that it was because that is what I NEEDED to do! I realized that the only way I was going to help people and grow myself was by doing that thing that scared me.

Before my first shoot I was really nervous…I definitely got in my head a little at first. But here’s the exciting news – I found that I actually really enjoyed it. I have never had a problem speaking in front of large groups of people, so this is no different. I stopped worrying about being PERFECT and just talked like I would normally.

I am to the point now where I am so excited for them to go live and see where this thing takes me…

Stepping outside of a comfort zone isn’t easier for one person than another, the only difference is that one person does it where the other won’t. Like the quote I posted today, the only thing that stops us is US!

The level of our success and happiness is determined by the amount of uncertainty or discomfort we are willing to endure. I don’t know about you, but I don’t ever want to be the cause of my own lack of happiness or fulfillment!

Here’s to expanding comfort zones in 2019. Start small…but just START!!

Goals NOT Resolutions

Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it!

I see so many posts on social media, and so many people talking about what their New Year Resolution is going to be each year it started me thinking…how long do people actually keep their resolutions? We all start out with the best intentions but somehow around mid-February everything has been thrown out the window.

I think this happens because our resolutions are made based on things we think we SHOULD be doing or not doing, because we want to make a change but we aren’t quite committed enough to the outcome to stick to it, or sometimes because we are worried about what other people think.

Quitting is so much easier than doing something consistently and changing habits. I have even found myself justifying that if I did something wrong it’s not a big deal because nobody keeps resolutions anyway. It’s also really common to think that if you do screw up that you may as well just quit now because it’s never going to work. Dieting when it’s not important enough to you can have the same effect! I have watched many people I know over the years make a mistake and eat something they shouldn’t so they either just quit completely or recommit to start on Monday.

As you all know by now that my husband, the coach, works with a lot of clients and what he recommends telling yourself is that you want to do this BECAUSE…what is the reason that you really want to do this? If it is dieting, it could be because you want to be healthier & have more energy so you can spend more time doing activities with your kids or spouse. If it’s quitting or changing your job, then what is the reason there? For me, when I started planning quitting my job, it was because I wanted more freedom to travel and make more money. The key is to find the reason that works for you.

I have always thought that resolution was such a flimsy word which is why I prefer to call them GOALS. We all have goals and the New Year isn’t the only time we start working towards those goals. That’s the main thing here…there’s never a bad time to start. It doesn’t matter your age, what your goals are, or how lofty they are, if you start…you are always going to end up closer than you would be if you procrastinated.

So this 2019…it still sounds crazy to me so be saying 2019…I am looking for goals that challenge me, scare me, help me grow, give me more freedom and patience but most importantly that help me gain stronger connections and relationships.

What is one thing that is so important to you BECAUSE…?

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!


Like my look? Shop the look by clicking the links below…

Release your Inner Power

 

“I’m street, so look both ways before you cross me!”

 

I had to post today’s quote because it reminds me that I have that whole other level inside me that kicks in when I really want to accomplish something.

Do you know what I mean when I say that? Do you have that smolder inside you that lies dormant until someone tells you that you can’t do something or tries to stop you from achieving your goals.  I didn’t realize how strong mine was until I really sat and thought about what I wanted to be when I grow up.  I know, seems kind of crazy, but you could call it mid-life crisis or just a heightened awareness, but I definitely reached the point in my life where I didn’t feel fulfilled or happy with what I was doing.

I am sure some of you can relate to this in some way.  Is there an area of your life where you are not feeling fulfilled?  It could be your job, it could be your home life, it could be school…there are many ways to feel unfulfilled.  So what do you do when you find yourself in this place?  The simple answer is to change it…but that’s not always feasible.

I found myself in this place a few years ago, so I knew that I had to make a change.  I had to decide if I would be happy if I was in the same place in a year or even 10 years.  Obviously my answer was no, so that’s when I knew that I had to think about what I did want to be doing.  It took me some time to ponder this question, months even, but when I came to the realization that it was important to me to help people, I knew what I had to do.

That’s when I called on that inner gangster & determination that I knew was inside me because I had used it many times before.  The easy part is knowing what you want to do, the hard part comes when you have to slog away day after day, being consistent, undeterred and motivated (even when you don’t feel like it).  This is when the grit comes in. That part inside you that doesn’t doubt you can put in the work necessary to get it done.

 

 

One of Brandon’s favorite shows is Shark Tank, and recently I have been watching it with him.  I have found it so interesting to see these people that literally started with nothing, come up with an idea and grow that idea sufficiently that they are qualified to make it onto a show on TV.  I love seeing their belief in what they are doing, I love seeing them overcome fear day after day – because that’s what I know I must do.  It helps me know that I’m not alone, and that the only way anything happens in this world is if we believe enough in it and in ourselves to make it happen.

So what if, inside you, there is this inner bad girl with grit just waiting to help you accomplish your dreams?  What if I told you that it is there – you just need to find a way to harness it.  It’s no that it’s easier for some than others, it’s just that some will do whatever it takes to make it happen – they believe that much in themselves.

I may be that girl that eats organic foods, believes in the environment, believes that people and their feelings are more important than ideas, but I still love to listen to rap music.  I still love to be walking the line of conformity, because I know that when I am open, loving and real, that’s when I am able to feel love and fulfillment in my life.

Sometimes I feel the need to show the outside world that I am not just a pretty face, but I have an attitude and I’m not afraid to use it…that’s why I chose today’s more casual, get stuff done, inner bad girl look 😉

Shop my look by clicking the links below…

 


Pursue your Dreams

“Dreams and goals are important in our lives – we should not give up on our dreams your dreams is not as important as what you become by achieving your dreams!”

 

When you were little and someone asked you who or what you wanted to be what did you tell them?  I had a dream to be a Doctor and more specifically an OB Gyn, which changed to an Optometrist when I realized I could only handle births that had happy endings.  I studied pre-med for my Associates Degree and then my Bachelors was in Physiology with Microbiology.  Sounds like I was on track, right?  Well, what I found out along the way was that I actually didn’t like to be tied down to something, have a rigid structure or simply that I really didn’t like to be told what to do.  As you can imagine, that would never be the case with anything in the medical field, so I decided to look into sales instead.

My dad had been a very successful salesman for all of my life, and I had realized that he had enormous amounts of flexibility, make amazing money and had lots and lots of vacation.  Obviously all three of those things were selling points for me, so that’s how I ended up where I am today.

I don’t feel like I gave up on any of my dreams, or at least I didn’t until a couple of years ago, and that is the time when I started working more with Brandon and started by blog.  I knew I wanted to give back, I knew I wanted to help people, and I knew I loved fashion.  For a long time I had no idea how those things could possibly tie together, but I am starting to figure that out now.

Dreams and goals are so important in our lives.  In order to achieve the big goals we have to be willing to set smaller ones and work towards achieving them.  At some point in our lives we have all achieved SOMETHING and the feeling that we get when we achieve something, well that’s what keeps us on track for bigger and better things.  It doesn’t mean that fear doesn’t creep in or that we sometimes have to change our direction or tactics, but what it does mean is that a dream or goal is just that – something that we get to turn into reality by constant effort, drive, determination and resilience.

 

A fun Fall look – you can shop my look and similar by clicking any of the links below
Shop the Bag by clicking this link

 

 

Have you ever been told by someone that you wouldn’t be able to do something?  I know I have.  When I was in High School in England I had a teacher that didn’t like me and had no confidence in me.  In fact she actually told me that I should set my sights lower than being a Doctor.  I have to admit it was probably because I wasn’t the best student, but shhh! don’t tell my kids that.  Regardless, that kind of negativity is bound to have an impact on even the most confident person.  I am pretty tough, but I can tell you, for a while I actually started to believe that I wasn’t smart, that I wasn’t going to be able to do what I wanted to do and even worse, that I wasn’t good enough.  Not believing in yourself is probably one of the worst things you can do to yourself.  It is what depression is made of, it can create anxiety and even thoughts of suicide.

Having a dream is something that can create sunshine on even the darkest day, but only if you realize that in order to get what you’re dreaming of, you actually have to put in some effort.  I know there has been a lot of information out there about “manifesting” your dreams, and don’t get me wrong, we absolutely attract to ourselves the things we focus on, but it still requires work, dedication and commitment – and when you combine those things with focusing on the dream, that’s when it becomes more attainable.  I’m not saying that good things won’t ever happen to you without work, because I have had great things happen to me…but it is also not the norm.  I used to have a boss that always told me “the harder you work, the luckier you are” and I believe that 100% because that is what I saw in my business.

No matter what you believe, remember that having a dream and pursuing that dream is not something you should ever give up!

Happy Wednesday – dream on!!

 

 

 

Make No Excuses – Just Goals

 

“Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment!”

 

Do you have goals?  Even if you think you don’t, I am sure there are some things that you want to achieve.  It could be as simple as decorating your home, raising your kids to be respectful, or even just about eating healthy.  What one thing do all these goals have in common?  They require WORK to get there!

Have you ever found yourself imaging your future, the home you’ll live in, the career you’ll have, standing at your kids’ weddings next to the bride or groom with pride all over your face?  To imagine is completely normal, but the only way you will actually get there is by doing at least some work.

In order to stand next to your kids on their wedding day requires you having a good relationship with them (WORK), to have the career you want (EFFORT), to move homes (WORK, TO BE ABLE TO AFFORD IT).  The thing that I have noticed in my 20 year career in sales is that unfortunately a lot of people want the reward without the effort.  The problem with that is that our imaginations can create AMAZING realities, but when we are in our actual reality it looks bleak in comparison.

It is only my second day in my new career, and I can tell you that it has its challenges, the grass is not always going to be greener, but the one thing that I have going for me is that no matter what I am not afraid to put in the effort.  Working hard is not the most important thing, working smart needs to be part of it as well.  I have found myself having to think a lot more about structuring my day to include tasks I want to accomplish, the things I need to do, along with things that I know will distract me if I don’t schedule time for them.

We have so many distractions in our life that if we don’t schedule time for those distractions we will become swept away, and when the option of doing a harder task versus something that is more fun, we will always welcome the fun one if we haven’t planned ahead.  For example, as I sit writing this blog I have probably had 20 emails, 3 texts, not to mention the phone call from one of my boys.  Obviously some distractions can’t be avoided (I try to never miss a call from my kids, even though most of the time it’s about drama or something I wish I didn’t have to deal with), but the big question is…do we welcome those distractions.  I will definitely admit that when I am doing mundane tasks I tend to become more easily distracted and tend to stay that way for longer.

So, now we know what we have to deal with on a daily basis..how do we  handle it effectively?  I have found that I allocate myself a certain amount of time on a task, and once that time is up I switch to another task.  If I haven’t completed the first task I can always go back to it.  This helps me with my focus,  my boredom and most importantly I allow myself a little break (even if it’s just a bathroom break) so I don’t become burned out!

 

 

I don’t always do work outdoors like I am in this post, but there are definitely times when a little fresh air can be exactly what the doctor ordered – maybe you can give it a try (although it’s been pretty cold here in Utah, so I won’t be able to do it soon!)

Today is Wednesday – what have you accomplished this week already and what do you still want to achieve?  Comment below…

How to feel more Confident

“We won’t be distracted by comparison if we are captivated with purpose!”

 

Confidence is not something you suddenly just have, you don’t necessarily wake up with it…it can take consistent effort & positive thoughts.

I can recall being a young girl, and having a really distinct taste in fashion, and how my parents encouraged me to be me.  As I became older people started to notice that I dressed a little differently, that I liked different things and that I kind of liked not fitting in the mold.  The thing about being different is that it scares people, they see it as a threat to themselves because they are not truly confident in themselves, so because I liked to stand out, I was teased a little, criticized and sometimes laughed at.  I had a choice at that point…listen to what people were saying, change who I was or be ME.  I chose to be me, and a funny thing happened…I remember having a pair of Red Mary Jane shoes, and within about a month I noticed other girls wearing the exact same pair of shoes.  I took that as a compliment, not because they were wearing my shoes, but because I realized that I had it right…I had the confidence thing right.  I wasn’t afraid to be me and those girls learned something – they started to do that themselves.

I am not saying that I am the most stylish person in the world, I don’t always get it right, but one thing I can say is that no matter what, I wear what I want, I do what I want and I am who I am – no excuses, in fact, I LOVE WHO I AM!!!

 

I realize that not everyone is as stubborn in my confidence or as bold as I can be…so here are some easy steps to help you with your confidence:

  1. Stop comparing yourself to others – stay focused on you.
  2. Don’t stress things you can’t control.  Talk about setting yourself up to fail, stressing about little things and things you can’t control is a sure way to bring disappointment, frustration and stress.
  3. Love yourself.  There is no one like you – you are gift to this world.  The world needs you and don’t ever forget it!
  4. Seek positivity – find the good in every situation.  Positivity reaps positivity.
  5. Do what you love – and you will love what you do.  Life is way too short to be stuck doing something that you don’t love.
  6. Trust yourself – don’t try to be something or someone that you are not.  Our instincts very often tell us whether something feels right…we should trust that instinct.  Being in tune with who we are in a great gauge for confidently being happy.
  7. Believe you are worthy – when we believe in ourselves, the world is our oyster.
  8. Don’t be afraid of being wrong – confidence doesn’t always mean you will be right, it means you don’t tie your self worth to it – which means you are not afraid to be wrong about something.
  9. Don’t allow jealousy or hatred to seep in – confidence doesn’t need to feel hatred or jealousy because it knows the world needs all kinds of people and one persons success is not dependent on another’s failure!
  10. Step outside of your comfort zone – self confidence grows by learning and growing.  We start out when we are babies using this concept by learning to talk and walk, but for some reason we forget it as we become older and sometimes stay stuck, not growing, inside our comfort zone.  There is no great self confidence booster than accomplishing something new.

I don’t know about you, but I wish that someone would have given me some steps when I was a little girl, almost a road map showing me how I could become more self confident.  All of these steps are what I use…I know they are not all the things we can do to help our confidence, however, even by implementing one of these that you weren’t using before, it’s only going to help put you further down the path to self confidence.

Remember – self confidence isn’t something that is taught or learned, it is something that comes from surpassing your own self-limitations!

Don’t lose sight of your Goals

“If you’re tired of starting over, stop giving up!”

You may have noticed that I’ve been doing quite a bit of traveling recently…I don’t know about you, but I work so I can travel with my family as much as possible.  Ever since I was young and my parents took us on some amazing trips, I have always been a big believer in making memories being the most important things we can do in our lives.  In fact, I don’t even know if I could remember the many of the gifts I was given for birthdays or Christmas but I do remember the good times we had traveling with my parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles and cousins.

Traveling is something that is ingrained in my DNA…and my kids will tell you the same.  It definitely does make it challenging to fit in all the work that I need so I can enjoy the vacation and not have to take time away from the family.  Being organized writing my blog posts, planning what I am going to post and all the other elements that go into blogging and promoting it on social media are vital!  Even taking vacation from my full time job is not always vacation because I like to make sure I am available if problems arise with my clients and see if there are things I need to take care of.

You may be asking yourself why I am talking about all the work that I have to do to be organized so I can travel…well, here’s the point – I love to travel and that isn’t going to change, but I also have goals & standards that mean I have to be really organized so I can enjoy my vacations.  My goals aren’t going to go away just because I love to travel, but I definitely have to make sure that I plan ahead!

I have recently been working with my 16 year old who got a little behind with his school work because of our vacation to Hawaii and I told him that he needed to write a list of the things he was behind with and then make a plan for when he was going to complete each task.  After a little push back he agreed to do it and once he had everything down he told me that it had really helped him because then he didn’t have to have all the things jumbled inside his head, giving him more to worry about.  Once he had everything written down, he could check off each thing once completed and see that list become less and less overwhelming.

I follow a very similar style – I know what I need to do, and always write a list about EVERYTHING.  Including whether I need to pack certain things, if I need to go to a store to pick something up etc.  If I miss something when I am writing the list, I guarantee it’s something I will completely miss or even worse, I wake up in the middle of the night almost in a cold sweat with a list in my head again of things that I should have written down.

My goals are very important to me, I am always making new goals, and I never stop working towards them. I have found that every goal, whether big or small, requires consistent effort and nothing (not even a vacation) is going to stop me from putting in that consistent effort!

My goal when I started this blog was to inspire women to express their unique personality through their style, which would in turn grow their confidence.  I have always felt that our biggest challenge as women is the belief in ourselves.  Feeling great about yourself absolutely leads you to become more confident and hopefully that in turn leads to achieving whatever your goals are.  I am not going to give up on my goal…and neither should you!

Shop my look below

(This post contains some affiliate links – which means you at no additional cost to you, I may make a small commission if you buy something)

Get up, Dress up and Never Give up!

 

“Believe you deserve it and the universe will serve you!”

 

Unfortunately it is the time of year here in Utah where the air quality is not great, we may or may not have a snow storm, but chances are, it’s going to be really cold.  With the poor air and inversion that we suffer with in the valley it very often brings colds, flu and other ailments that are never good but can really set you back if you don’t take care of yourself properly!

 

The reason I’m telling you this is because when I did this shoot, I had a cold and didn’t have any energy, but I knew I needed to do it because, well, just because I committed to it, but also because writing my blog is more important to me than taking a little time with some chicken noodle soup on the couch…

 

 

I have always been one of those girls where unless I literally can’t walk and I’m bleeding I don’t like to let anything stop me from what I need and want to do.  As a mum of four boys that works full time as well as having this blog, I am sure you can imagine that my life is pretty full, and that doesn’t even count anything I want to do for fun 🙂  I have found that I can sometimes be my worst enemy in that I don’t like to ask for help but that can sometimes cause me to feel resentful (even though logically I know that I brought the chaos onto myself by not asking for assistance!)

 

One of things I worked on this holiday season (which is probably one of the most hectic times of the year, not just for Christmas but also for my job because it is busiest at the end of each year), I allowed other people, specifically my husband and kids, but also co-workers and other people I know, to help me with things I would normally have just powered through myself.  Are any of you like me where you feel like you have to be a “soldier” and you are on the front lines just slogging through the day only to find at night that you just want to fall into bed and you really haven’t enjoyed yourself along the way?  Whew!  It’s not a good place to live I tell you…and the worst part, it’s so unnecessary!

 

So how do we change the way we have always been?  Is it who we are?  If you are like me and struggle with any of these things, here’s something to think about…by not asking others to help or by not including them in what you’re doing, you are taking the opportunity to serve away from them.  What do I mean?  When you do things for others does it make you feel good?  Are you that person that is always reliable, always giving, doing or just being there for others?  If you can answer yes to any of these questions then you know what an amazing feeling it is when you know that you’ve done something for someone else…right?!  Conversely if you don’t let anyone experience that feeling by doing something for YOU, aren’t you robbing them of that experience?  I know all of this stuff logically but I can tell you, it’s still hard for me…but I do know unless I teach my kids (and my husband) how to serve others, then I am doing them a disservice!

 

 

I definitely rolled into 2018 with a really positive attitude, great goals (one of which you read on Sunday), plans and aspirations…so now the key is to continue as I have started (yes, I know, it’s only been 1 day), but nevertheless, it’s still hard to keep to a path you have laid out for yourself, unless the goal means so much to you that quitting is not an option!

 

You are going to see a lot of people talking about goals, asking you what your goals are…and you may or may not want to share.  The key is to have goals to have things you want to do, even if it is to keep doing what you have always done, and just be better at it.  We all have our own paths to walk, but I can tell you, no matter who you are, whether you make goals for yourself or not, there are going to be things thrown into your path that are going to make you grow whether you like it or not, so nobody is going to have an easy ride.  Might as well set yourself something exciting to achieve so you are not letting life just happen to you!

 

Happy New Year…and by the way, the outfit I’m wearing in this post is an amazing velvet dress, with a leather jacket and leather booties.  You can shop a similar velvet dress, leather jacket, and booties by clicking the links below (who doesn’t love a luxurious velvet dress with a great leather jacket? :))