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Motivational Monday

“The biggest source of motivation are your own thoughts, so why not think BIG!”

You may have noticed that I like to post a quote each day, and that they tie into the theme I am writing out that day.  You may be asking yourself why I do that, so I thought I would fill you in…

I have talked a little about why I started this blog and what it has meant to me, but there’s definitely more to it than I have have spilled the beans on already.  For example, when I write a blog post, the reason I do it is because it is something that resonates with me that day and I feel that by sharing what thoughts I have that it might also help someone else as well.  I have found that when I have thoughts about something, when I am feeling a certain way, it really helps me to focus on handling it rather than avoiding it.  It is pretty much the story of my life and it is definitely worked for me to come at something “head on”.  I choose quotes that serve as motivation for me, and they help me focus on overcoming whatever I am going through at that time…or at least serve as a reminder of what I need to do.

We all have storms in our lives, and I am definitely no exception.  I really need to remind myself constantly to be strong, to weather the storms, to feel grateful, to be patient, to remember why I am here and so much more.  So when I post something about gratitude for example, it’s because on that day I realize that I need to focus on gratitude rather than the fact that something might not be working out for me!

I have found that my mindset is absolutely what controls my outcome.  When I feel positive I am much more likely to achieve what I am striving for, or at the very least, be OK with whatever comes my way.  Do you ever wonder why when something bad happens that more bad seems to show up as well?  I have seen it time and time again in my life, and being lucky enough to be married to a mindset coach, I have learned that focus is absolutely what needs to change if we want results to change.

Now don’t get me wrong, just changing how you think isn’t going to change everything in your life, action is still required, but positive action starts with positive thoughts.

 

 

Do you have habits that you wish you didn’t have?  The best news about habits is that they can be changed at any time in your life…and just as they were started, habits can only be changed by repetition of what you want to replace your old habit with.  For example, if you want to change the way you eat (kind of like the post I wrote on Friday), then you have to create new habits that embody the way you want to eat in the future.  Think about why you want to change, what it means to you, what it would mean if you didn’t do it and how it could affect anyone else around you.  Once you reach the point of pain where it hurts too much to continue the old habit, that’s when you will be motivated enough to change.

The key to changing those old habits, because positive thinking is not all that’s needed like I said, is to realize that there is a COST associated with not changing.  I have had many times in my life where old habits are stopping me from getting where I want to be in relationships and in business.  Here’s one of my habits that I have had to change to make my relationship with Brandon excellent:  I have always been someone that is not big on talking about my feelings in a relationship, I have never been a big talker and I always felt like because Brandon wanted to talk about EVERYTHING that it meant there was something wrong and I was being told that I was doing something wrong.  You see, Brandon (and actually 2 of my kids) are people that need to problem solve by talking things through, and I am a person that internalizes what I am going through and just handles it on my own 99% of the time.  As you can imagine, me not being a talker and having a husband that needs that could cause huge problems in our relationship.  For many years I fought it, I thought “why should I have to be the one to change?”  “This is just the way I am”, but eventually I realized that I wouldn’t actually be giving something up to give Brandon and my kids this gift.  I started to open up more, to talk things through and learn how to not “own” whatever it was they were going through and to not try to fix it.

Once I started creating a space where I was open, the conversations became easier, and now (not that I still get it right all the time) but I am definitely on the road to making this my normal behavior rather than just shutting down.  It wasn’t until I realized that the cost to NOT do it was higher than it was to DO it, that’s when I was able to change my habit.  It was worth it to me to be there for Brandon and my kids, and guess what I found out, it actually wasn’t just who I was, and I started to be able to feel empathy and just listen – something that was hard before because I very often could see something and want to just fix it.

Whatever you have going on in your life, I hope that you will find at least a little motivation from my posts and quotes…and if there’s a topic you would especially love to see – i’m all ears!!

Happy Monday!

XOXO

 


The Power of Music

 

“And for that one moment while the music plays.  You know who you are and everything you wish to be!”

 

Do you have a ritual or something you do that gets you ready for a hard task you need to complete, or to just make you feel better?  Music can have such a positive influence in our lives if we find the right music to get us pumped up.

There are so many options out there for good music, and there are so many bad ones as well.  I am more drawn to a beat than I am the words, but definitely the words (especially if they aren’t good words) do have an impact on us.  I love to listen to a wide variety of music, and I tend to focus on certain types to achieve different results.  When I am wanting to feel like I want to dance or just feel good, I listen to rap, hip hop, R&B, a little pop and disco.  I like NWA (I know, not typical), I love Mary J Blige, P!nk can really get me pumped up, love a little Rihanna, Drake, Travis Scott, and so many others.  If I want to feel inspired I listen to songs like “This is Me” from the Greatest Showman, “Unstoppable” by Sia, and a few others that help me to remember why I am here and how great I should feel about myself.

Music has been used to centuries for inspiration, and many other reasons, so there must be something to this theory.  I have had times in my working career where I could become distracted by negativity, and I would use music through headphones to block out the “noise” and help me to focus on the things that were important.  As I have been working with Brandon and going to his Live events, we use music to create a certain mood.  We use it to help people get out of their comfort zones, and I have seen it work amazing wonders. In fact, the more I see it, the more I want to use it in my life.

He goes through a ritual every morning and listens to music to wake him up, to get him ready to take on the day and the make sure his mind is in the place it needs to be so that he can be there for the people that NEED him.  I love that music can do that, I love that just by listening to the beat, the words and by letting that music take you places, you can honestly change your state and put yourself in a better mood, create the energy you need to accomplish anything if you really want to put your mind to it.

 

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Even when I am at home and I have to clean the house, the task doesn’t seem so bad when I have music on and it can take me away from what I am doing.  Driving long distances in the car becomes a lot more tolerable when you can listen to some great music.

As I started to think about Brandon’s LIVE events, his morning ritual and the feelings that I have when I listen to some music that speaks to me, I started to think more and more about it.  What I realized is that music and it’s artists really do have a power, and it’s there for us to use if we choose to!  We can harness the power of music and use it to our advantage.  You may already be doing it without even being aware, but my guess is that if you set yourself up with a great routine or ritual of listening to inspirational and motivational music before you do something that is important to you, the results will actually end up being better.

I have a few playlists loaded in my iPhone, different ones for different reasons, so that when I am working out, driving to work or a meeting, or even just having a hard emotional time, I can call on that playlist to help me change my state.

As I sit writing this post I have some background music, not something that distracts me from what I am writing, but rather music that makes me FEEL so that I can be real and write something that hopefully resonates with you.  You’ll have to let me know…;)

Now Monday is here, and let’s be honest Monday’s don’t have the best reputation, why not start incorporating more “good” music into your life.  Should you choose to accept this challenge – I would love to hear how it worked for you.

Have a great week!

 

How to Get Motivated

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal:  It is the courage to continue that counts!”

I decided to write today’s post because it is something I dealt with this weekend and it felt fresh to me.  As a wife, mother, friend and business professional I am sure you can imagine how many things need to be accomplished on a daily basis.  I’m not complaining, it’s just busy.

Yesterday in Salt Lake was a gorgeous, hot day, and for some reason after I had made lunch I didn’t feel like doing anything else.  Dishes needed to be done, I had bought some string lights for my patio that needed putting up, I needed to clean my closet to get rid of some clothes that I didn’t wear anymore, and the list goes on.  So here’s what happened, after I had made the lunch I sat down and felt so mentally exhausted that I didn’t even pick up my phone and check social media – I started to wonder if I was coming down with something.  As I talked to Brandon I realized a few things:

  1. I feel guilty if I am not doing something.
  2. I beat myself up for being “lazy” rather than allowing myself to relax.
  3. I sometimes create things to do just so I am busy.
  4. Even when I’m not actually physically doing something I am thinking about or creating a list of the things I can do next.
  5. I don’t allow myself to take time for myself, or even if I do I feel like I have to explain or justify why even to myself!
  6. I want so badly to be the best at so many things that I end up not finishing things and spreading myself too thin.
  7. When I see other people not doing things it makes me think they are lazy because everyone should be moving, right?!
  8. I want so badly to be better every time I do something that I sometimes over-think and don’t end up taking any action.

I know this may seem like a crazy list, definitely not logical AND counter productive, but I wanted to share it with you for a couple of reasons.  Firstly, because I have found that when I put something out there, I can no longer hide from it and I have to face it.  Secondly, because I bet I am not the only one that experiences these things, and perhaps knowing that you’re not crazy and someone else has similar struggles to you can make it easier to work on.

I have found in my life that when I am open, vulnerable and not afraid to let people know about my struggles or weaknesses, I very often find that others can relate and that has helped me overcome many things.

So, when you don’t feel motivated or feel mentally exhausted, how is the best way to handle it?  Here’s what I did…I went on a bike ride to get my energy going (exercise always helps me), and then after a little discussion with my amazing coach of a husband, I realized that it’s OK to sit down and just chill for a little bit.  I allowed myself some time to just sit there with my thoughts, and not the creating a list kind of thoughts, but just appreciations, gratitude and peaceful thoughts…and here’s the most important part – I didn’t let myself feel guilty for not doing something!  I allocated a small amount of time to just be there, and then I resolved to take a small action rather than creating a huge list that was overwhelming and trying to undertake that.

There are definitely going to be days where motivation doesn’t come naturally, even if you are an over-achiever there will be days where you are just not in the right frame of mind or you feel exhausted or sick.  With that being said, it doesn’t mean that you can’t still accomplish what you need to do, because motivation can be created.  If you look at athletes, I am sure every one of them has an “off day”, but whether they like it or not, they have to show up and play.  It’s also like that as a mother – you don’t get to take a day off…your kids need you, and quite honestly you need them.

I have found for me the first thing you need to create motivation is a ROUTINE – having a certain way that I do things, or just scheduling the time to do it.  I love sitting in my office because I have created an environment that I love to be in, and work just seems to flow.  My routine has me get up and get dressed – it’s that simple.  I have always admired those that have home offices and work in their PJ’s because I know that wouldn’t do it for me.  I have to be dressed and feeling/looking professional.  Whatever your routine is it just needs to start with something simple, something so easy to do that you can’t talk yourself out of it.  It could be something as simple as sitting grabbing some water before you start any task – that way, the water will lead you to think that productivity is the next natural step.

The next step is to take a physical action or become engaged – mine is leaving the house.  Going to my office and getting moving.  I noticed yesterday when I wasn’t feeling motivated my body language was very lax…I was laying on the couch, I was moving slowly and it most definitely wasn’t an action mindset or engaged mindsetGet motivated

The final step is to use the same pattern every time.  Again, your pattern is your pattern, so create something that is recognizable for you.  Use it every time you take the action…so that when you need the motivation, the actions just flow and the motivation will come because you are doing what you always do!

My routine this morning was definitely different than yesterday and I am already noticing that my motivation is back – mainly because I used my same routine, I took action and I did I like I always do!

Monday has traditionally been a hard day for motivation – I hear lots of people talking about how they hate Mondays and that it sucks to go back to work…so this Monday, why not look at it from another perspective. Why not recognize the amazing things you have in this life and feel grateful for the opportunity to be doing what you’re doing – things can change in an instant!

Happy Monday…