Exciting News

Some Women are lost in the fire, some Women are built from it!

On my social media recently I have talked a little about how I was planning on launching a video podcast series…well, I am excited to let you know that the wait is finally over…My pilot episode is ready. It is all about empowerment, confidence building, a little bit of style and a sprinkle of laughs. Confidence grows as we grow, I have found that the more I share what I know, what I am learning and how I feel, the stronger and more confident I become. Empowered women empower other women – why not subscribe and join this ride?

You can view my very first Video Podcast by clicking the image below…

Click this picture to watch the Podcast 🙂

I will be posting a new one each week, and they will be focused on topics like:

“How to find true confidence”
“Your age or size doesn’t define who you are”
“Know your audience”
“I’m me, you are you – feeling comfortable with who YOU are”
and many more…

My goal with this Video Podcast is to make you feel great about yourself through confidence building, strength empowerment, and some incredible fashion tips that you can use for your everyday life. I want all you amazing women out there to be the best versions of yourselves and the ultimate goal is for you to love yourselves.

Over my years as a successful business woman, mother, wife and so much more, I have searched for and found amazing confidence building styles, fashions, and frames of mind.

Why don’t you join me in my journey and start following my podcast – which is currently available on iTunes by just clicking here or searching Stylequeenie. If you don’t have access to an Apple Device, just click the link above…

Stay tuned for when you can download directly from the FM100 app or at fm100.com.

I would love to hear what you think!

Color is Important

Why live as one single color of crayon when you can live as the whole box and color the whole world!

When we pick out the clothes we are going to wear finding a color we like is not enough. Knowing that certain colors suit you more than others is something to keep in your back pocket when shopping and putting together an outfit.

There are a lot of things that play into whether a color suits you or not…such as: skin tone, hair color, eye color, attitude (yes, I said attitude – if you are sassy and confident you are much more likely to feel comfortable in a bold, bright red than if you are shy and withdrawn), and even our mood. Of course we are always drawn to colors we love, and I am definitely no exception. When I find a style in a color that I love, I always hold it up against my face before I even try it on to see what it makes me feel like. On a good day I am pretty certain that I love it and that it will look good on me, but on a bad day (a day when I am not sure of my emotions, how I am feeling or if something else is affecting me), that’s when I seek an outside opinion.

There are definitely times of the year that some colors are more available than others…for example this mustard colored sweater. Mustard is a color that is very often associated with fall or autumn, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be worn at other times. In fact, I kind of love wearing colors that you don’t see a lot of people wearing at certain times of the year. Because the color of my sweater is not as prevalent during winter months, that’s when I am choosing to wear it – you know the whole “standing out” thing 😉

Going back to colors being more readily available at certain times of the year, you can guarantee that each season fashions are going to be put out in certain colors that they have picked for some reason. But here’s the important thing to remember…just because a color is “in style” doesn’t mean you have to wear it. If your skin tone works really well with a cool red but the season’s color is an orange red, that doesn’t mean that you suddenly have to start wearing it. I believe that the season’s styles, colors and textures are just a guideline – they are only there to enhance what we already know we want to wear.

For those of you out there that only love to wear black or grey, go on and express yourself. The only caveat I would offer is that sometimes dark colors like black and grey can make you look pale and withdrawn. If you feel most comfortable in those colors because that’s your style, I get it. For those of you that do it because you are afraid to express yourself or you aren’t sure what other colors might suit you – then I would recommend stepping out of your comfort zone and trying a new color each week. Who knows, you might actually find that you love color!

Remember, our confidence grows when we are not afraid to step outside our comfort zone and try something new!

Shop some of my top color picks by clicking the links below…

Life is a Balancing Act

Life is a balance of holding on and letting go…

One of the things that being a working mum has taught me is that finding a work/life balance is essential. I realized very early on that I am the type of person that throws myself into whatever I am doing 100%, which can cause problems if I don’t figure out how to balance ALL my responsibilities.

I chose to work, and I did it because not only did I want to prove my worth (sales will definitely make sure you have to do that), but also because I wanted to show my kids how important a good work ethic was. Not to say that anyone that doesn’t work can’t teach that, because I absolutely believe that staying home with your kids is one of the hardest and most fulfilling jobs anyone could ever have. I, however, chose the working path and I don’t regret one minute of it because of all that I have learned over the years.

My kids are older now (with my youngest being 11 and my oldest 24), but I still have to make sure that I am creating a great home for them, I have to make sure that I am available when they need me, and I also have to make sure that my work doesn’t cause me to neglect any of them…all while making sure that I am not losing myself in any of it either.

Whether you have kids to go home to or not, it doesn’t matter. A work/home balance is still essential for your own sanity!

Working, especially when you are a high achiever is something that can take over your whole life if you let it, which is why finding that balance is essential. I have learned a few tricks over the years that work for me, so I thought I would share them with you today…

  1. Use a calendar – I know this sounds simple but I can’t tell you the number of times where I have forgotten to put a work or kids appointment on my phone and then scheduled something over it. The easiest way to avoid that is to make sure you use the SAME calendar for both business and personal so everything is in one place.
  2. Don’t miss dinner – I was always guilty of working later and not getting home in time to make a good dinner, so I had to make sure that no matter what, even if something wasn’t completely finished, I went home to take care of my family. There were some times I had to work on my laptop after the kids were in bed, but it was worth it because I got to spend my evenings with my family.
  3. Delegate – there are going to be times when you can’t do everything, that’s when it’s time to delegate. I used to have a hard time doing this, you know the whole “if I want it done right I need to do it” thing…but I learned over the years that I had to let that go to make sure I wasn’t missing out on things that were important to me. It could be that you delegate work or home stuff, by just prioritizing the things that you absolutely don’t want to or can’t miss!
  4. Hire a nanny – when my kids were really young I used to burn myself out and end up fighting all the time with the kids working on their homework with them – getting them to do it and coaching them through it. I realized that I didn’t want to be the bad guy anymore so we hired a nanny that would pick them up from school, do homework and chores with them before Brandon and I got back from work. That way, when we walked in all I had to do was make dinner and spend time with them. They didn’t fight the nanny like they fought me, and I didn’t feel deflated or frustrated with their lack of excitement about homework and chores 😉
  5. Let it go – whether you work outside the home or not, there are going to be frustrations from your day, and the only way your home is going to be welcoming for you and your kids is if you let the negativity and frustration go. Early in our marriage before Brandon started his coaching business he worked for a large corporation that brought with it a lot of frustration, so I used to tell him that he needed to touch a tree in our front yard and leave all that frustration out there. That way, we didn’t have to deal with it and the anger and frustration was mis-directed to the kids or me.
  6. Self care – this is the most important of all. If you don’t take care of you, and taking care of you doesn’t mean just working all the time because you love it, it means finding that thing that can reset your energy meter. Find the things that make you feel relaxed, renewed and ready to start the fight all over again. It could be something as simple as taking a coffee break, going for a walk in nature, working out, getting a massage or pedicure or even a date night.

Mastering balance in our lives is the thing that will make us even greater spouses, parents, friends, employees or bosses. It is the thing that differentiates the good from the great. You can’t give up one thing for another, because even if you are the most successful financially you won’t be fulfilled in other areas, or vice versa.

Why not start off this Monday by just implementing one of these ideas…or just making sure that you follow through with the self-care!
Even though this is the most important of all the steps, this is the one that is the most neglected…

HAPPY MONDAY!!

Living in a Masculine World

“In a world where masculinity is respected and femininity is regularly dismissed.  It takes an enormous amount of strength and confidence for any person to embrace their feminine self!”

You’ve probably heard me talk about how I have 4 boys…but I’m not sure if I mentioned that when we bought my dog my ONLY request (because I really didn’t want a dog) was that it would be a female.  I am sure you can guess where this is going – my dog’s name is Rooney (after Wayne Rooney who used to play for Manchester United my favorite football/soccer team) and he is a male dog.

I live in a house where there is more testosterone than most people would know how to handle, but let me explain why I am equipped.  I grew up the oldest of 3 kids, and you’ve guessed it, I have 2 younger brothers – no sisters.  I have never known the likes of the drama that can come from living in a home with girls, nor have I ever had the pleasure to have a sister to share my deepest thoughts and secrets with.  I know this is why I take my friendships so seriously – they are an escape for me from my current environment and I consider them the sisters I chose.

Even though I live surrounded by all this masculinity, I have never lost my love for my feminine side, in fact, I think I am able to embrace it even more because of what I see around me.  I love sports, I love cars, I am not a pushover (and those of you that know me, know this is quite an understatement), I am handy and love to do home projects and fix things, but I also love to shop, cook and make the most of how I look.  I don’t think I am an anomaly, I just think I am not afraid to be who I want to be without worrying about what I think I SHOULD be.

 

 

Unfortunately we still live in a time where, as a woman, we have to prove ourselves over and over, where we are not always given opportunities to rise to the top in careers, and sometimes we are even blatantly discriminated against.  Guess what, however someone else treats us doesn’t have to determine how successful we are.  Rising to top in anything requires tenacity, persistence, patience as well as confidence, and these things only come when we are not bitter, resentful or frustrated.  Believe me, in my career I tried pretty much every angle to achieve my goals and quite honestly the only thing that did work for me was just being ME and not giving up no matter what.  I found that when I embraced my femininity and inner confidence that I felt when I did that, I was able to attract more positivity to my life which also brought more success, fulfillment and happiness.

I found that when I became too aggressive (which I know I have a tendency to do) I intimidated people, which actually gave me negative results.  At the time I didn’t realize that my aggression and frustration was causing people to want to move away from me, which included clients, my husband, my kids, my friends, and so on.  It’s a weird thing when you feel that people don’t want to be around you, especially when you sit down and think about why that might be and take accountability for your actions in the whole equation.

Life is filled with things we can’t change, and the only way we can work through those things is if we accept that we have no control over them.  Letting go is the most freeing feeling, but it requires practice.  It doesn’t mean that you are always going to like it, but it means you are able to move on despite how you feel.

I love the fact that I get to be the only girl in my house – sometimes the smells, the disorganization, the untidiness, the laziness, and the constant meal making can be a little much, but quite honestly, I wouldn’t change it for anything.  I feel blessed that I can come home and one or more of the “boys” in my house will give me a 20 second hug which is exactly what I need to ease away the stress from my workday.

Staying feminine when all around you is masculine is an art, its a habit, and it is a path to success in business.  In any relationship (whether personal or professional) there needs to be a masculine and feminine energy, and most men like to take the masculine lead.  If they take that lead the best way for you to have success and create a connection in that relationship is by being the feminine you.  I feel very fortunate as a woman to be able to be strong and confident and I don’t have to give up my femininity to do it.

 


Release your Inner Power

 

“I’m street, so look both ways before you cross me!”

 

I had to post today’s quote because it reminds me that I have that whole other level inside me that kicks in when I really want to accomplish something.

Do you know what I mean when I say that? Do you have that smolder inside you that lies dormant until someone tells you that you can’t do something or tries to stop you from achieving your goals.  I didn’t realize how strong mine was until I really sat and thought about what I wanted to be when I grow up.  I know, seems kind of crazy, but you could call it mid-life crisis or just a heightened awareness, but I definitely reached the point in my life where I didn’t feel fulfilled or happy with what I was doing.

I am sure some of you can relate to this in some way.  Is there an area of your life where you are not feeling fulfilled?  It could be your job, it could be your home life, it could be school…there are many ways to feel unfulfilled.  So what do you do when you find yourself in this place?  The simple answer is to change it…but that’s not always feasible.

I found myself in this place a few years ago, so I knew that I had to make a change.  I had to decide if I would be happy if I was in the same place in a year or even 10 years.  Obviously my answer was no, so that’s when I knew that I had to think about what I did want to be doing.  It took me some time to ponder this question, months even, but when I came to the realization that it was important to me to help people, I knew what I had to do.

That’s when I called on that inner gangster & determination that I knew was inside me because I had used it many times before.  The easy part is knowing what you want to do, the hard part comes when you have to slog away day after day, being consistent, undeterred and motivated (even when you don’t feel like it).  This is when the grit comes in. That part inside you that doesn’t doubt you can put in the work necessary to get it done.

 

 

One of Brandon’s favorite shows is Shark Tank, and recently I have been watching it with him.  I have found it so interesting to see these people that literally started with nothing, come up with an idea and grow that idea sufficiently that they are qualified to make it onto a show on TV.  I love seeing their belief in what they are doing, I love seeing them overcome fear day after day – because that’s what I know I must do.  It helps me know that I’m not alone, and that the only way anything happens in this world is if we believe enough in it and in ourselves to make it happen.

So what if, inside you, there is this inner bad girl with grit just waiting to help you accomplish your dreams?  What if I told you that it is there – you just need to find a way to harness it.  It’s no that it’s easier for some than others, it’s just that some will do whatever it takes to make it happen – they believe that much in themselves.

I may be that girl that eats organic foods, believes in the environment, believes that people and their feelings are more important than ideas, but I still love to listen to rap music.  I still love to be walking the line of conformity, because I know that when I am open, loving and real, that’s when I am able to feel love and fulfillment in my life.

Sometimes I feel the need to show the outside world that I am not just a pretty face, but I have an attitude and I’m not afraid to use it…that’s why I chose today’s more casual, get stuff done, inner bad girl look 😉

Shop my look by clicking the links below…

 


The Power of Music

 

“And for that one moment while the music plays.  You know who you are and everything you wish to be!”

 

Do you have a ritual or something you do that gets you ready for a hard task you need to complete, or to just make you feel better?  Music can have such a positive influence in our lives if we find the right music to get us pumped up.

There are so many options out there for good music, and there are so many bad ones as well.  I am more drawn to a beat than I am the words, but definitely the words (especially if they aren’t good words) do have an impact on us.  I love to listen to a wide variety of music, and I tend to focus on certain types to achieve different results.  When I am wanting to feel like I want to dance or just feel good, I listen to rap, hip hop, R&B, a little pop and disco.  I like NWA (I know, not typical), I love Mary J Blige, P!nk can really get me pumped up, love a little Rihanna, Drake, Travis Scott, and so many others.  If I want to feel inspired I listen to songs like “This is Me” from the Greatest Showman, “Unstoppable” by Sia, and a few others that help me to remember why I am here and how great I should feel about myself.

Music has been used to centuries for inspiration, and many other reasons, so there must be something to this theory.  I have had times in my working career where I could become distracted by negativity, and I would use music through headphones to block out the “noise” and help me to focus on the things that were important.  As I have been working with Brandon and going to his Live events, we use music to create a certain mood.  We use it to help people get out of their comfort zones, and I have seen it work amazing wonders. In fact, the more I see it, the more I want to use it in my life.

He goes through a ritual every morning and listens to music to wake him up, to get him ready to take on the day and the make sure his mind is in the place it needs to be so that he can be there for the people that NEED him.  I love that music can do that, I love that just by listening to the beat, the words and by letting that music take you places, you can honestly change your state and put yourself in a better mood, create the energy you need to accomplish anything if you really want to put your mind to it.

 

Click here to shop a similar leather jacket

Even when I am at home and I have to clean the house, the task doesn’t seem so bad when I have music on and it can take me away from what I am doing.  Driving long distances in the car becomes a lot more tolerable when you can listen to some great music.

As I started to think about Brandon’s LIVE events, his morning ritual and the feelings that I have when I listen to some music that speaks to me, I started to think more and more about it.  What I realized is that music and it’s artists really do have a power, and it’s there for us to use if we choose to!  We can harness the power of music and use it to our advantage.  You may already be doing it without even being aware, but my guess is that if you set yourself up with a great routine or ritual of listening to inspirational and motivational music before you do something that is important to you, the results will actually end up being better.

I have a few playlists loaded in my iPhone, different ones for different reasons, so that when I am working out, driving to work or a meeting, or even just having a hard emotional time, I can call on that playlist to help me change my state.

As I sit writing this post I have some background music, not something that distracts me from what I am writing, but rather music that makes me FEEL so that I can be real and write something that hopefully resonates with you.  You’ll have to let me know…;)

Now Monday is here, and let’s be honest Monday’s don’t have the best reputation, why not start incorporating more “good” music into your life.  Should you choose to accept this challenge – I would love to hear how it worked for you.

Have a great week!

 

Make No Excuses – Just Goals

 

“Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment!”

 

Do you have goals?  Even if you think you don’t, I am sure there are some things that you want to achieve.  It could be as simple as decorating your home, raising your kids to be respectful, or even just about eating healthy.  What one thing do all these goals have in common?  They require WORK to get there!

Have you ever found yourself imaging your future, the home you’ll live in, the career you’ll have, standing at your kids’ weddings next to the bride or groom with pride all over your face?  To imagine is completely normal, but the only way you will actually get there is by doing at least some work.

In order to stand next to your kids on their wedding day requires you having a good relationship with them (WORK), to have the career you want (EFFORT), to move homes (WORK, TO BE ABLE TO AFFORD IT).  The thing that I have noticed in my 20 year career in sales is that unfortunately a lot of people want the reward without the effort.  The problem with that is that our imaginations can create AMAZING realities, but when we are in our actual reality it looks bleak in comparison.

It is only my second day in my new career, and I can tell you that it has its challenges, the grass is not always going to be greener, but the one thing that I have going for me is that no matter what I am not afraid to put in the effort.  Working hard is not the most important thing, working smart needs to be part of it as well.  I have found myself having to think a lot more about structuring my day to include tasks I want to accomplish, the things I need to do, along with things that I know will distract me if I don’t schedule time for them.

We have so many distractions in our life that if we don’t schedule time for those distractions we will become swept away, and when the option of doing a harder task versus something that is more fun, we will always welcome the fun one if we haven’t planned ahead.  For example, as I sit writing this blog I have probably had 20 emails, 3 texts, not to mention the phone call from one of my boys.  Obviously some distractions can’t be avoided (I try to never miss a call from my kids, even though most of the time it’s about drama or something I wish I didn’t have to deal with), but the big question is…do we welcome those distractions.  I will definitely admit that when I am doing mundane tasks I tend to become more easily distracted and tend to stay that way for longer.

So, now we know what we have to deal with on a daily basis..how do we  handle it effectively?  I have found that I allocate myself a certain amount of time on a task, and once that time is up I switch to another task.  If I haven’t completed the first task I can always go back to it.  This helps me with my focus,  my boredom and most importantly I allow myself a little break (even if it’s just a bathroom break) so I don’t become burned out!

 

 

I don’t always do work outdoors like I am in this post, but there are definitely times when a little fresh air can be exactly what the doctor ordered – maybe you can give it a try (although it’s been pretty cold here in Utah, so I won’t be able to do it soon!)

Today is Wednesday – what have you accomplished this week already and what do you still want to achieve?  Comment below…

A New Start

“You only ever get in life things that you have the courage to ask for!”

 

I’ve talked a little about my new beginnings over the past week or so…well, the day is finally here!

Have you ever started something new and found it a little challenging to switch your mind to the new things you will be focusing on?  This morning when I woke up I still had to get the kids ready and off for school, but the direction of my office, the things I need to accomplish, what I could wear, who I was going to meet with…all different.  After 15 years working in the same office, doing essentially the same job,  it had definitely become second nature..so what now?

Sometimes it’s easier to stay doing what we are familiar with rather than to take a risk, especially when you hear others around you questioning whether you can do it, or we may even start to question ourselves.  When I was in High School in England I remember going to parent teacher conferences/career night – I believe I was around 14 years old.  I met with my Biology teacher and my parents and at that time I had wanted to do something in the medical field.  I loved the sciences and they seemed to come easy to me.  As we sat there that teacher asked me what I was wanting to study in College and when I told her that I wanted to study Medicine or something like that she actually said to me “If I were you, I would set my sights lower”!

Wow!  Can you imagine the self esteem of a 14 year old at that point.  Well, here’s what happened, I decided to dig my heels in, I went to college, and worked my butt off to get my degree in Physiology with Microbiology.   As I was studying I found that I liked to meet new people, embraced challenges and love to develop long term relationships built on trust.  Consequently, when I was done with my degree I decided to apply for a job in Pharmaceutical sales.  In England in the early 90’s there weren’t many women doing that job and even though I had multiple interviews I found that it was a very sexist environment.   My self esteem took a beating again.  I was told by one interviewer that if I wanted a job where I was going to meet with Doctors I would need to wear short skirts.  The ironic thing about that is that the person telling me was actually a woman!  I am not someone that likes to be backed into a corner, and at that age I was a lot more naive, so I told her NO!  I would not do that.  Needless to say I didn’t get the job.

After a couple of years trying unsuccessfully to get a job in pharmaceutical sales, I decided to move over to the US – where I thought I would have an easier time as a woman in a career.  I got a job in Radio advertising sales so that I could gain some sales experience before I started applying for more sales jobs in the medical industry.  After a few years in radio, I moved into TV and then onto cable, where I have been working for the past 15 years.

 

 

Whilst working in cable advertising sales I found that I was experiencing very similar things to those I experienced when I was back in England.  I had to work twice as hard to get to the top, and I was the top.  I had to overcome men that were intimidated by strong women and people that were put in positions of management certainly not because of their experiences or qualifications to do the job, but rather because they were part of the “good old boys club” or had a friend that put them there.  What I realized is that I have NO control over what people say to me, how they treat me or whether things are “fair”.  What I do have control over is whether I let that define who I am.

I developed many amazing relationships while I was in the media industry and I am extremely grateful for those relationships.  I also refined my tenacity, my determination, my resilience and my confidence.  I learned that I could rise to the top no matter how someone treated me.  I learned that I am really good at what I do and now I have the opportunity to prove that to myself even more as I embark on a career that I get to control more.

I will be working with my husband that is a mindset and motivational coach, as well as working on my blog.  I feel like both work really well together, and I am excited for what our future holds.

I would not change anything that has happened to guide me on the path that I am on in my life.  I have learned a lot of what I am capable of and I have grown so much.  I have learned to love myself and not just because I look a certain way or I am successful in my career.  If I had placed too much emphasis on my career performance these past few years where I was challenged way more than anyone in a career should be, would have certainly diminished my self esteem.  Instead, it fired me up, it made me want to make more of my life!

Taking risks and starting new things are sometimes easier said than done.  It takes a lot of courage to walk away from something, but it can also be the most rewarding thing you have ever done.  I realized that I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life wondering “what if” or thinking that I had settled.  What about you?  What risks are you willing to take to grow?

 

 

Feel Good in your own Skin

“The best gift you can ever give yourself is the permission to feel safe in your own skin.  To feel worthy, and like you are enough!”

Feeling good in your own skin is so much more than being confident in how you look…it is more about who you are as a person and how you feel about that person.

We all came into this world the same way, but our experiences and our relationships in our lives shape us into who we are today. Sometimes those experiences can  cause us to feel insecure, lacking in confidence, or even make us feel like we are not good enough.  It can be hard to move through things that trigger us, or make us feel like this, but there are definitely steps we can take to help soften us and allow us to feel more worthy, more comfortable in our own skin and ultimately more confident.

I have found that the more I give myself grace for not being perfect, and the more I don’t compare myself or what I do to others, the better I feel about myself.  I can tell you that this getting older thing is not for the faint of heart.  I didn’t realize how much it affected me until I saw some pictures of me when I was younger, and noticed that I have laughter lines, I have wrinkles I had chosen not to notice before and that perhaps my muscles aren’t as toned as they once were.

 

 

So, as we go through life, how do we feel good about ourselves even as these things happen?

Here are a few things that help me – maybe they’ll help you too:

  1. Take care of yourself – for me this can be as simple as taking a bath at night, reading a good book or just having a small amount of time to be left with my thoughts.  I like to be unpredictable, so for me going on a bike ride in a different direction, walking the dog a different route or even driving home a different way allow me to feel free and let the stresses of the day go a little.  We don’t all have the same things that relax us or make us feel good, so whatever it is for you, that’s what you need to do.  It seems like the world is advertising to us all the time about what we should do, eat, wear, and like…but ultimately whatever it is that makes YOU feel good, well that’s what you need to do!
  2. Focus on the good – it’s easy to be critical about your flaws or what is wrong with you…so what if every time you saw something that you didn’t like about you, in turn you found something to appreciate about that thing.  For example, I always had a really flat stomach and that’s not the case anymore…but here’s the best part – I have 4 boys that I am immensely grateful for,  and I wouldn’t trade a little bit of a stomach for any of those kids.  Another could be the wrinkles around my eyes – but I appreciate that I have had plenty to laugh about in this life.
  3. Embrace your Uniqueness – we are all created to be different,  so why would we want to change who we are in order to fit in?  I am very lucky that my parents always encouraged me to embrace my unique, quirky and feisty personality, because I wouldn’t be who I am today if I hadn’t.  Society teaches about fitting in all the time, and social media only accentuates that need…but what if we considered that the world just wouldn’t be as it should without US and what unique traits we have to offer.
  4. Don’t be afraid to be alone – before I met Brandon I was a single mom for about 5 years, and during that time I really wanted to meet someone to settle down.  What I realized is that I wasn’t ready to meet him until I was 100% OK with being alone.  I love the time I spend by myself, not that I don’t love the company of my family or my friends, but I also need that time to make me the best I can be for all of them.  Taking time to be alone to read, to contemplate, meditate, or exercise are great ways for us to enjoy alone time.
  5. Do things that make you happy – as you have probably noticed by now, one of my biggest loves is travel.  I love to travel with Brandon, with my kids, my friends and even alone.  The thrill of exploring new places, enjoying sunshine, waterfalls, the ocean, the forest, and many, many other things is really the reason I work.  Even going out of town for business is a huge thrill for me because I usually get at least a little time to relax.  I love to shop (I know, shocker), I love to go to movies and dinner with my family, I love river rafting, hiking, biking and sunbathing.  By doing any of these things we are able to fill our cups to make us better for ourself and those around us.

 

Oh and if by wearing some funky boots, or a fabulous leather skirt makes you feel as good as it makes me feel…I’ve linked my boots and the rest of my outfit (or similar pieces) below…


What your Eyes say about You

“Eyes are captivatingly beautiful.  Not because of the color but because of the words they hold within them!”

I am sure you have all heard that the eyes are the window to the soul…well, I can tell you that by looking into someone’s eyes, and I mean REALLY looking, you can actually tell a lot about a person!

In fact, if you really do take the time to sit and notice someone, look at them and connect with them you can feel their energy and start to learn things about them.  I have always been someone that has had a hard time hiding my emotions, in fact if you ever really want to know how I am feeling about something, you just need to look at my face and definitely my eyes.

The reason I am telling you about this, is that the greatest thing we can do for ourselves and others in this live is to truly connect.  So, if you really want to connect with someone, take the time to notice things about them, pay attention to their eye movement, whether they look you in the eye, and the sparkle or lack of sparkle in their eyes.

Does this seem crazy or are you open to this concept?  After over 20 years in sales, I can attest to the importance of stepping into someone else’s world rather than pushing your own agenda.  Even if you think you are not in sales so this doesn’t apply to you…think again.  We are ALL in sales in one form or another.  Whether you are starting a new relationship, interviewing for a new position, developing friendships or wanting to make the relationship with your spouse or children better, you are in sales.  The goal is to let the other person really see what you are about, what a good person you are, and how much you care – all sales.

So, if you could just take the time to notice someone instead of carrying on your own agenda, how much do you think that could change your life?  I know in my life, when I truly want to connect with someone, I don’t spend all the time talking about ME, I listen, I notice, I watch, and I learn…remembering important details in another person’s life and connecting with them on that level is vital to establishing and maintaining amazing relationships.  I always tell my kids that if you want to HAVE a friend, you have to BE a friend – in that order!

Here’s the part where I have struggled in my life – I love to be the most loyal and trustworthy friend, but there have only been a select few that I have allowed to become that close to me.  I have been reluctant to be completely vulnerable because of times in the past where people have taken advantage of that vulnerability.  Only those that truly notice me are the ones that I have let in completely.   While my actions were there to help protect me, what they actually have done in the past have ultimately made me more lonely and isolated.  I am finally to a place in my life, where I know the REAL people that I want in it, I let those people in and I allow myself the grace to not be perfect and share that with those closest to me 🙂

Have you ever looked into someone’s eyes and just KNOWN what they are thinking or how they are feeling?  I can tell you that this has made a huge difference in my life…it has allowed me to have amazing relationships and I feel very blessed because of them.

Could using this tool do anything in your life?  As you look into my eyes what do you see?