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Living in a Masculine World

“In a world where masculinity is respected and femininity is regularly dismissed.  It takes an enormous amount of strength and confidence for any person to embrace their feminine self!”

You’ve probably heard me talk about how I have 4 boys…but I’m not sure if I mentioned that when we bought my dog my ONLY request (because I really didn’t want a dog) was that it would be a female.  I am sure you can guess where this is going – my dog’s name is Rooney (after Wayne Rooney who used to play for Manchester United my favorite football/soccer team) and he is a male dog.

I live in a house where there is more testosterone than most people would know how to handle, but let me explain why I am equipped.  I grew up the oldest of 3 kids, and you’ve guessed it, I have 2 younger brothers – no sisters.  I have never known the likes of the drama that can come from living in a home with girls, nor have I ever had the pleasure to have a sister to share my deepest thoughts and secrets with.  I know this is why I take my friendships so seriously – they are an escape for me from my current environment and I consider them the sisters I chose.

Even though I live surrounded by all this masculinity, I have never lost my love for my feminine side, in fact, I think I am able to embrace it even more because of what I see around me.  I love sports, I love cars, I am not a pushover (and those of you that know me, know this is quite an understatement), I am handy and love to do home projects and fix things, but I also love to shop, cook and make the most of how I look.  I don’t think I am an anomaly, I just think I am not afraid to be who I want to be without worrying about what I think I SHOULD be.

 

 

Unfortunately we still live in a time where, as a woman, we have to prove ourselves over and over, where we are not always given opportunities to rise to the top in careers, and sometimes we are even blatantly discriminated against.  Guess what, however someone else treats us doesn’t have to determine how successful we are.  Rising to top in anything requires tenacity, persistence, patience as well as confidence, and these things only come when we are not bitter, resentful or frustrated.  Believe me, in my career I tried pretty much every angle to achieve my goals and quite honestly the only thing that did work for me was just being ME and not giving up no matter what.  I found that when I embraced my femininity and inner confidence that I felt when I did that, I was able to attract more positivity to my life which also brought more success, fulfillment and happiness.

I found that when I became too aggressive (which I know I have a tendency to do) I intimidated people, which actually gave me negative results.  At the time I didn’t realize that my aggression and frustration was causing people to want to move away from me, which included clients, my husband, my kids, my friends, and so on.  It’s a weird thing when you feel that people don’t want to be around you, especially when you sit down and think about why that might be and take accountability for your actions in the whole equation.

Life is filled with things we can’t change, and the only way we can work through those things is if we accept that we have no control over them.  Letting go is the most freeing feeling, but it requires practice.  It doesn’t mean that you are always going to like it, but it means you are able to move on despite how you feel.

I love the fact that I get to be the only girl in my house – sometimes the smells, the disorganization, the untidiness, the laziness, and the constant meal making can be a little much, but quite honestly, I wouldn’t change it for anything.  I feel blessed that I can come home and one or more of the “boys” in my house will give me a 20 second hug which is exactly what I need to ease away the stress from my workday.

Staying feminine when all around you is masculine is an art, its a habit, and it is a path to success in business.  In any relationship (whether personal or professional) there needs to be a masculine and feminine energy, and most men like to take the masculine lead.  If they take that lead the best way for you to have success and create a connection in that relationship is by being the feminine you.  I feel very fortunate as a woman to be able to be strong and confident and I don’t have to give up my femininity to do it.

 


Being Fierce

“And one day she discovered that she was fierce, and strong and full of fire, and that not even she could hold herself back because her passion burned brighter than her fears!”

What does being fierce mean to you?

Today was my Grandma’s birthday and since she was one of the most fierce women I know, I thought it would be a great tribute to her to write about this topic…

If you think about in nature the animals that are known as being fierce as the ones that are feared or at the very least revered…so as I contemplated what being fierce meant to me, these beasts are what came to mind.

To me, being fierce means being unshakeable in the determination to achieve my goals, regardless of bumps in the road, or even detours.  Having the belief that no matter what, I can do whatever I set my mind to…

My life has definitely not been an exercise in things being simple, but I can tell you this, there is not ONE THING I would change about my past or present because they are the amazing things that have defined who I am today.  I am pretty proud of who I am today, because the person I am may be strong and unwilling to give up her goals, but I am also a girl that takes my relationships and friendships very seriously.  I am fiercely loyal, and know this, when I am in your corner, you will have my 100% support.

So, how do you take your experiences and use those hard things you have gone through to make you stronger as well as being more vulnerable on the other side?  The answer is simple – you don’t be afraid to trust someone else, you open yourself to someone and allow them to help you.  When I first moved over to the US I had an amazing cousin that let me live with her until I had my own place to live.  She asked nothing in return, and has continued to be there for me.  I have made amazing friends along the way that I know will have my back no matter what, and I continue to develop more and more relationships built on loyalty and trust.  Being a fierce woman in this life doesn’t mean you have to step on others to achieve your goals, in fact, it is because of the others in our life that we are able to become our true fierce selves.

 

 

I grew up in a home with 2 brothers, I have 4 sons.  Living in a testosterone rich environment has made me realize how important femininity is to strength and how I can use my gifts to achieve my goals. It has made me realize that strength does not need to be aggressive or angry (the technique I used to use to protect myself), nor does it have to manipulate.  True strength is not afraid to lean on others, not afraid to be there for others, not afraid to be vulnerable, not afraid to surrender to those things we can’t control, and not afraid to recognize that control is only an illusion.

Because I have never known what it has been like to have a sister, my girlfriends are like the sisters I have never had.  I honestly know that my strength comes from them in some part, and I only hope that I can pay it forward and be doing the same for them and others as well.

Monday’s are a great day to start focusing on how you can achieve your goals…

Happy Monday!

You can shop similar styles to the one I am wearing above by clicking the links below 🙂

 

How to Harness your Inner Strength

 

“Strength doesn’t come from what you can do.  It comes from overcoming those things you once thought you couldn’t do!”

 

This weekend I wanted to talk a little about how overcoming challenges is really what makes us who we are. I am sure you have heard this many times before, but have you ever sat down and written down those things that you have gone through (you know, the ones where you weren’t sure if you were actually going to make it or not), with the sole purpose of looking at them in retrospect?  I have found that many, many things don’t make sense to me when I am going through them, but as I look backwards things become clearer, I realize that I am actually stronger and that I have actually made it!

At this point in January there are going to be a lot of resolutions that have already been pushed aside because we’re too busy or life has just happened.  It’s ok, if this is true of you, you’re definitely not alone, and you shouldn’t beat yourself up too much.  But, if you really are looking to make 2018 YOUR year…here’s something you can do to help make that happen…

As I talked about earlier, writing down the amazing things you have survived, worked through and learned from is fabulous, but what if you took it one step further…

What if, instead of just acknowledging those things, what if you really thought about how they made you better.  For example, has one of your experiences taught you patience, are you better equipped to handle “certain types of people”, or even are you more determined and stronger than you have ever been before.  All of these skills are things that can be harnessed to help you be more successful and happy this year.

Whatever your experiences, looking for a silver lining of some way you grew or learned is the best way to grow.

And remember, breathe, you may be having a hard day, but it doesn’t mean that it’s a hard life!