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Femininity in Denim

Everybody is born stylish. Then we start wanting to look like other people!

Where do you think femininity comes from?  Is it something you wear?  How you dress?  Your makeup?  Or just simply how you feel about yourself?

I have talked about femininity before and one of the key notes that I always come back to is that femininity is absolutely tied to how you feel about yourself  Femininity is in fact a feeling that is transferred from you to whoever you are around.  I know that no matter what it is that I am wearing if I feel amazingly confident and happy with myself that is what I project.  Now, if I am wearing something that makes me feel better about myself because I’ve looked in the mirror and really like what I see, then I am more likely to feel feminine or classy – and here’s the absolute best part, it is a strength and power if we learn how to harness it.

So, with that being said, is it possible to feel really feminine when you are dressed more casually say in jeans or something completely casual?  I say absolutely YES!  For me, when I find a fantastic pair of jeans that fits my curves, that are comfortable and also that look amazing, I am going add a fabulous top and make that whole outfit just rock! By adding a nice blouse like I am wearing in this post, it dresses up the jeans a little more, but still has a casual, fun vibe.

Shop some hot denim picks at the end of the post by clicking the links

I am always open to trying new styles and stores, so when I was sent this pair of jeans from Dress Barn and they even offered to customize them for me, I jumped at the chance to give them a try.  Here is my honest feedback and review on what I liked about them…

  1. I have been loving the boot cut style (bringing it back again) because they are different from what a lot of other people are wearing.
  2. The denim fabric is really soft, stretchy and comfortable, which means that even if you’re not a fan of regular denim that can sometimes be harsh on the skin and not very flexible for sitting, you will love how these jeans feel.
  3. They are very affordable, which means that you don’t have to limit yourself to just one pair that you might have to if you were buying some of the more expensive designer jeans.
  4. They have a variety of different cuts and colors, so you can find exactly the style and color that works best for you – all with the same great fit that accentuates all your greatest features.
  5. Even though they are boot cut they are fitted, and they allow me to feel sexy, feminine and dress them up or down depending on what I am doing.  I recently wore them when I was traveling with a pair of mid heel booties, and they were perfect. Just the right amount of stretch and comfort for long periods of sitting.

No matter where you decide to get your jeans from, make sure that they are comfortable. There is nothing worse than a pair of jeans that makes you look great but you can hardly breathe and you couldn’t even entertain the idea of eating at all. For summer there are so many more jean & denim options, so have fun. Try some, wear them with a nice blouse, add some cool shoes, dress them up or down and see how you feel. When you exude femininity, which is ultimately where real femininity comes from, what you’re wearing will never take away from that. So I do believe that you can absolutely feel and look amazingly feminine when you are dressed casually and in jeans!

Have you ever had a day when you have woken up and you don’t feel great, for some reason you have a lack of energy, and you just don’t want to dress up at all.  I usually have about one day every other week where I experience a little demotivation around putting forth an effort on my appearance, or I just don’t care.   I have found that on those days, when I really push myself to make an effort, at some point during the day my mood starts to match my effort.  I have always felt like as Women we should use our outfits to express how we feel about ourselves, and sometimes to help us feel on the inside how we look on the outside.

You’ll have to let me know if this has ever worked for you like it does for me!

I have linked some great jeans below – just click the links to shop!

Denim & Florals

What makes things memorable is that they are meaningful, significant and colorful!

I can feel optimism in the air in anticipation for Spring and the beauty it brings. It is the perfect time to bring out some floral patterns, add a little color into your life, and feel the vibrancy of the season.

As I was growing up I was never a big fan of floral patterns, or even the color pink, but I can tell you that as I am getting older, I embrace my femininity and welcome any style that allows me to feel feminine, classic and confident. Of course, I also like to be uniquely me, so by adding a little denim, it was the way for me to show my style while embracing the femininity of this dress.

The amazing thing about floral patterns is that there are SO MANY to choose from. There are ones with large, tropical flowers and ones with smaller blossoms – both of which can have a bright or subdued undertone, and can fit your style perfectly. If your style personality is a little less bold, then stick to muted tones, and smaller flowers, whereas if you are a little more willing to let it all out, you could try some patterns that include reds, yellows and cobalt blue…depending on which color best suits your skin tone.

As we have been planning our spring break trip with the kids, I have been doing a little shopping (both online and in stores) and I have been excited to see that a lot of stores are already adding these prints (and they’re not all dresses). I found a few of my current favorites and linked them below – you can shop them by clicking the links.

The little denim jacket I am wearing (which is a little different and more dressy than a typical denim jacket) is one I had in my closet, but I have found some similar ones and linked them below. Honestly there is always a time I love to pull out a denim jacket…so having one to me is a wardrobe essential.

My shoes are again a pair I already had but I loved pairing the polka dots with the floral dress, to add even a little more sass. Mixing patterns is still something I am learning, it kind of goes against everything we have learned…but I have to tell you it’s been really exhilarating and fun – so why not give it a try! Because here’s the thing, nobody REALLY knows what does and doesn’t work, so even if you aren’t sure, there is a very low chance that you will get it wrong 🙂

This Monday is beautiful and sunny here in Salt Lake, and I am excited to start breaking out even more florals – what styles get you excited?

What Makes you Feel Feminine

When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid!

No two people are exactly the same, we all like different things, we all enjoy spending time doing different things and different things make us feel good about ourselves.

In a world where as women we have long been known as the weaker sex, softer, less aggressive, more of a nurturer, etc., it doesn’t mean that we have to give up ourselves in order to look and feel feminine. I will admit that for the longest time I considered femininity to be a weakness, but what I have realized is that it is actually a power. Femininity is a tricky thing because it’s not something that you can just go after aggressively because that essentially kills the whole feminine vibe, it is something that you have to gently, softly and cautiously attract to yourself…so how do you do that?

I think that because we are all so different, there are different things that make us feel feminine, but there is also a good chance that how one person feels feminine may also carry a lot of weight with another person. Here are a few things that I use, what I call on when I want to feel feminine:

  1. First things first, I don’t allow myself to think of femininity as a negative thing. I call it my superpower and I allow myself to take on it’s persona.
  2. I am a very type A personality, I am driven and I am a boss lady, but when I want to feel feminine I don’t allow those of my traits to take over. I allow myself to feel vulnerable and let my empathy take over.
  3. Wearing certain clothes can definitely affect how I feel and there are certain things that make me feel more feminine than others. Such as, lace, velvet, floral patterns, and soft lines in the design of a piece. Take the blouse I am wearing in this post – it flows, it’s soft and it gives the impression of gentleness.
  4. There are certain hairstyles that scream femininity. I always feel feminine when I pull my hair back in a chignon, soft curls and waves can have the same effect.
  5. The most important thing that I remember when I want to feel feminine and not “scare” people by being a boss lady is that I don’t have to be right all the time. It is especially hard when I know that I know something and I want to tell people that what I know is right, or I want to correct people, or just push my opinion…I know that if I do any of those things, it will have the exact opposite effect!

Feeling and looking feminine isn’t just about what you wear, it’s so much more. When I see models in magazines and they look really feminine and soft, I often wonder if that is what they are really like. Femininity is about letting your inner sensitive self come out (unless of course you are just planning on taking a picture and not interacting with anyone all day). I have found that the best connections I have made in my life are those that are based not on me being pushy or bold, but more about me being gentle, listening and being there for someone else. It doesn’t mean that you can’t create amazing connections if you are strong or bold, it just means that you might turn people off that are not quite as strong as you if you don’t approach them in a more gentle way first.

I am a strong woman, I love being strong, I love challenges and I love taking on things that scare me, and one of the biggest challenges I have had in my life is to know when to be gently strong. I honestly didn’t think it was a real thing, but what I am finding is that in my strength I have found a whole new level of strength that comes from being empathetic and loving.

Of course it also doesn’t hurt to look feminine, because I’m not going to lie, Brandon does appreciate it the most when I am sensitive and vulnerable. In fact he has told me that he feels the closest connection to me when I am gentle – way more than when I am working on my sexy vibe. Crazy to think that he might not be looking for what society has taught us that men like the most. He wants me to be real, relatable, vulnerable, sensitive and loving – and if that’s what creates the best connection between us, then that is what I want to nurture more than anything!

Living in a Masculine World

“In a world where masculinity is respected and femininity is regularly dismissed.  It takes an enormous amount of strength and confidence for any person to embrace their feminine self!”

You’ve probably heard me talk about how I have 4 boys…but I’m not sure if I mentioned that when we bought my dog my ONLY request (because I really didn’t want a dog) was that it would be a female.  I am sure you can guess where this is going – my dog’s name is Rooney (after Wayne Rooney who used to play for Manchester United my favorite football/soccer team) and he is a male dog.

I live in a house where there is more testosterone than most people would know how to handle, but let me explain why I am equipped.  I grew up the oldest of 3 kids, and you’ve guessed it, I have 2 younger brothers – no sisters.  I have never known the likes of the drama that can come from living in a home with girls, nor have I ever had the pleasure to have a sister to share my deepest thoughts and secrets with.  I know this is why I take my friendships so seriously – they are an escape for me from my current environment and I consider them the sisters I chose.

Even though I live surrounded by all this masculinity, I have never lost my love for my feminine side, in fact, I think I am able to embrace it even more because of what I see around me.  I love sports, I love cars, I am not a pushover (and those of you that know me, know this is quite an understatement), I am handy and love to do home projects and fix things, but I also love to shop, cook and make the most of how I look.  I don’t think I am an anomaly, I just think I am not afraid to be who I want to be without worrying about what I think I SHOULD be.

 

 

Unfortunately we still live in a time where, as a woman, we have to prove ourselves over and over, where we are not always given opportunities to rise to the top in careers, and sometimes we are even blatantly discriminated against.  Guess what, however someone else treats us doesn’t have to determine how successful we are.  Rising to top in anything requires tenacity, persistence, patience as well as confidence, and these things only come when we are not bitter, resentful or frustrated.  Believe me, in my career I tried pretty much every angle to achieve my goals and quite honestly the only thing that did work for me was just being ME and not giving up no matter what.  I found that when I embraced my femininity and inner confidence that I felt when I did that, I was able to attract more positivity to my life which also brought more success, fulfillment and happiness.

I found that when I became too aggressive (which I know I have a tendency to do) I intimidated people, which actually gave me negative results.  At the time I didn’t realize that my aggression and frustration was causing people to want to move away from me, which included clients, my husband, my kids, my friends, and so on.  It’s a weird thing when you feel that people don’t want to be around you, especially when you sit down and think about why that might be and take accountability for your actions in the whole equation.

Life is filled with things we can’t change, and the only way we can work through those things is if we accept that we have no control over them.  Letting go is the most freeing feeling, but it requires practice.  It doesn’t mean that you are always going to like it, but it means you are able to move on despite how you feel.

I love the fact that I get to be the only girl in my house – sometimes the smells, the disorganization, the untidiness, the laziness, and the constant meal making can be a little much, but quite honestly, I wouldn’t change it for anything.  I feel blessed that I can come home and one or more of the “boys” in my house will give me a 20 second hug which is exactly what I need to ease away the stress from my workday.

Staying feminine when all around you is masculine is an art, its a habit, and it is a path to success in business.  In any relationship (whether personal or professional) there needs to be a masculine and feminine energy, and most men like to take the masculine lead.  If they take that lead the best way for you to have success and create a connection in that relationship is by being the feminine you.  I feel very fortunate as a woman to be able to be strong and confident and I don’t have to give up my femininity to do it.

 


10 Tips for Feeling Feminine without Giving up Who You Are!

 

 

“A Woman is the full circle.  Within her is the power to create, nurture and transform!”

 

I was raised in a home with only boys…meaning that there was a lot more physical fighting to resolve differences rather than negotiating. I am the oldest, but that didn’t mean I could avoid the fights, but rather I had to become smarter about how I did it.  After about the age of 12 I couldn’t match up physically with my brothers, but I could outsmart them.  I learned some tricks (OK, some of them were dirty) but nevertheless, I not only survived my youth but I actually thrived.

For me being raised in such an environment taught me mental and physical toughness.  I am not a quitter, and I don’t like to appear vulnerable (it was considered a weakness).  Even after telling you all these things, I can tell you that it didn’t take away my feminine side.  In fact, it has taught me to embrace what God gave me, and make the most of it wherever possible.

So, let’s get down to it – what are my tips for feeling feminine and using that femininity to your advantage – because, I believe that we were all given gifts, so why not develop them and use them?

  1. Wear a nice smelling perfume or body lotion.  I know not everyone will agree with this one, but whether you like strong smells or not, when you wear a perfume, that perfume contains chemicals that our bodies react to…and some certain smells are going to make us “feel” good.  It’s a physiological thing – give it a try 🙂
  2. Choose your fabrics wisely – ever noticed that when you are snuggled up on the couch with a blanket, you feel safe, secure and cozy?  Fabrics and how they feel on our skin can also evoke certain feelings. Silk, for example feels luxurious, sexy and feminine, whereas fleece is more about keeping warm. Choose the fabrics that fit the mood you are trying to create!
  3. Take care in how you speak – I have been known to intimidate people because I can be very direct. That is not my intention, however, that is the response that it creates.  So, when I am embracing my femininity I am much more conscious about not only what I say, but mostly how I say it.  Being direct is something that is very controversial, I feel like it is frowned upon when Women do it, however, what I have found is that I can still be direct and concise, but if I do it with a non-aggressive tone, I am much more likely to find positive results.
  4. Wear your favorite colors – certain colors make us look and feel more confident and vibrant.  Bright colors are a great way to show off your personality – not to worry if you are not a fan of bright, bold colors…just add a pop of color in an accessory or lipstick to add that extra dimension to your look.
  5. Go old school – in history Women wore many more dresses and skirts, in fact, they even wore them when they were doing tasks the same as the men such as farm work, etc.  Even if you are not a fan of skirts or dresses, you have to admit that when you see someone wearing a skirt or dress, you notice the legs, the shoes, pretty much the whole look draws you in.  I’m not saying you have to wear a skirt or dress every day (heaven knows I wouldn’t do that) but perhaps you add to your feminine style repertoire you could add them in every once in a while.
  6. Don’t try to too hard – being feminine is something that is subtle yet confident.  Less is so much more, wearing too many ruffles, pleats, patterns or lace can just be too overwhelming and create a really confusing look.
  7. Recognize your strength – femininity is not weak (contrary to popular belief), in fact throughout history many strong Women have shown their feminine side.  When I was younger and much more immature, I thought that in order to get anything done, I had to be aggressive and overpowering. What I have come to realize is that there is so much power in femininity and actually it is much better to embrace your femininity and approach things that way.
  8. Take pride in your appearance – I know there may be a popular belief in Men that we as Women dress for them (should we let them into our secret?)…We all know that confident, self assured Women are themselves and dress present themselves the way that THEY want to!  With that being said, it is important to take pride in your appearance, but for yourself.  Wear your hair in the way that makes you feel great about yourself, and your hygiene should be good.  There’s nothing wrong with wearing something that accentuates your curves, so long as you are doing it for the right reasons 🙂
  9. Be a good listener – I have found that I feel better about myself when I know I am there for people.  Loyalty in friendship is vital to my wellbeing, so when I am THERE for my friends, it makes me feel better as a person.
  10. Be confident – if you do the things listed above, you are most likely going to feel this anyway, so why not show it off.  There is nothing more attractive than a confident Woman.  When I say attractive I don’t just mean in a sexual sense, but also in the way that people will want to be around you.  The better you feel about yourself, the better people will feel about you and hence want to soak up that confidence.

I no longer believe that being feminine is weak – I believe that it is a gift we have been given and we should nurture it.  It was never hard for me to dress in a feminine way, but my actions and behaviors were sometimes contradictory…I am still a very assertive, confident woman, but I am working on presenting myself in softer ways!

 


Sunday Styling

 

“Style is a simple way of saying complicated things!”

For a perfect Sunday look, today I started with accessories and the perfect hair. What I wore was built around how I styled my hair and which accessories I wanted to wear. I chose to wear a necklace that one of my boys bought me for Christmas that has long and shorter lengths, so I was looking for a top that would allow me to show those off. This Taupe cowl neck top was the perfect pick, and I added plain Black T-shirt underneath.

Feminity was the focus of this look and I think with the subtle creases of the top, the french pleat up-do along with the fine Gold chained accessories I accomplished what I was aiming for!

Shopping for the perfect feminine outfit can sometimes be a little daunting, so why not check out StyleWe to see some amazing styles created by some great new designers!  Living in Utah where there is not the opportunity to find as many unique styles, I often find myself looking online when I want something different.  StyleWe is offering Free shipping right now, so you don’t have anything to lose, especially since there is a great Sale going on right now too!

I am a firm believer in the fact that if you want to look great on the outside you need to start with the inside which is why I stopped at Vive Juicery here in Salt Lake to grab myself a little fresh pressed juice, exactly what my body was needing.  Being happy, healthy and beautiful are all things that go hand in hand, and if you want people to see you as beautiful you first need to start seeing yourself that way.  When you see yourself as beautiful you treat yourself in such a way that takes care of everything about you…by eating healthy, balanced foods and by exercising regularly.  I also believe that a beauty regimen is important, and it’s better to start as young as possible.  I know when I was much younger I didn’t think it was as important to take care of my skin and health as I realize it is now!

Sunday’s are a great way to recuperate after a long work-week, and give your body and mind the opportunity to recharge.  I love my Sunday’s and how much more energy I feel on a Monday morning after I have had a day to relax.

Happy Sunday – I hope you feel ready for the amazing things this week can hold for you!

 

The Shoes make the Outfit

“If you feel like dressing like a girl I don’t see anything wrong with that.  I don’t know why femininity should be associated with weakness.”

I have been speaking in previous posts about how important the right shoes are.  This post demonstrates just a little about how an outfit that is simply just Black and Grey can be made to be so much more by adding a pair of accent shoes.  These shoes are Classy and cool at the same time.

Wearing the right shoes is absolutely the most important consideration when choosing an outfit.  You should absolutely make sure that whatever outfit you are wearing that the shoes do not detract from what you are trying to accomplish.  Wearing a pair of shoes that doesn’t match, is sloppy or is a style that doesn’t work is going to cause people to remember that rather than the positive features of what you have been trying to accomplish.

Some examples of shoes that do not work are:  The wrong color, scuffed or tatty shoes, clumpy shoes witha feminine outfit just to  name a few.  These sound simple but I can honestly tell you if these are overlooked it will make a difference to how people view you and your outfit.

The outfit highlighted today has satin cargo pants which can be used in a casual look or for business by dressing them up (like I did with this Grey top and the Maroon shoes).

I have talked about this before, but if you do choose the shoes, or at least the style of shoes that you want to wear first as you are picking out your outfit, it will definitely make a difference to the end result!

 

Make a Choice

“The smile is every Woman’s sexiest curve.”

Following on from the post yesterday, from a shoot that I am absolutely in love with.  I love how Erin captured my femininity and even though I was not feeling 100% (the onset of a cold), I was still in a good space and feeling happy!

We all know that no matter what there are times that we are going to have things thrown our way that challenge us, make us angry, impatient and just downright cause us problems.  One thing that I recently learned is that no matter what happens, life is not happening to me it’s happening for me!  So with that being said, even though my body didn’t feel well, my spirit certainly did.

No longer will I be a slave to my circumstances, we all have a choice, and the choice I made was to feel great anyway.

The outfit I am wearing is something that, although it includes shiny  leather look leggings, it is still classy and gives me an air of confidence.  There are going to be days that you may not feel confident, and those are the days that you need to make sure you dress the most confident!  You may have heard the expressions “fake it till you feel it” – well dressing well and being confident is something that you can use this guideline for!

Dress like you are already famous…and see what happens.