OK – I have to admit that while becoming older brings more knowledge, more patience, and more understanding it also brings some things that we might not want it to bring…like wrinkles, loose skin, stiff joints and so much more…
So as these things come, how do we still feel confident in ourselves and not start to let it get us down?
One of the things I realized a long time ago is that confidence doesn’t come from one thing – it comes from a combination of things, and not all of them need to be present to have that confidence.
Let me explain – beauty is something that can definitely fade as we get older, however, when you have confidence in WHO you are, WHAT you’re capable of or WHY you are important in this world, that fading beauty is not going to break you. As I look in the mirror I see wrinkles appearing that I didn’t have before, and I’ll have to admit that sometimes they cause me to pause and even dislike them…but that doesn’t mean I don’t still feel great about myself.
I have learned to appreciate many things about ME that I have control over. I have control over how successful I am in my career, I have control over whether I am a good friend, mother or wife, and I have control over whether I love myself for all the amazing unique qualities I bring to this world. I know as I get older I will recognize the old me less and less as I look in the mirror, but I am a firm believer that beauty starts on the inside anyway, so should those wrinkles or the aging process really be a deal breaker for me? I say NO! I say, I am still the amazing strong woman I have always been – and how I look as I age has no effect on that whatsoever!
What is something that makes you have confidence in yourself? Comment below…
Hair is the most important accessory we ALL have, so why not get creative, have fun and be different?
One of the reasons that I keep my hair mid length to long length is because of the versatility it allows me. I love that I can style it down straight, wavy, pull it back in a ponytail, use scarves, various styles of up-do’s and of course, it looks great with most hats.
I do know that a lot of people struggle with knowing how to style their hair, so that’s why I am dedicating this post to creating fun summer styles.
I learned when I was much younger how to do a french braid, french pleat, and various other styles and I would practice. Some nights when I am bored, instead of checking out and watching TV I go into my bathroom, pull out all my fun hair accessories, pull out the mirrors so I can see the back of my hair, and I set to work. I find styles that I have seen on others, experiment with my own way of styling my hair, and I have fun. In fact, when I lived with my cousin after first moving to the US, she used to wake me up in the morning to help her put her hair up for work. I had fun playing around with her hair and creating classy, business styles for her…
First things first, how do you find a style that will work for your hair? You can definitely find inspiration in all places, from friends, from people we see at work, in a store, or even on TV…but I have found that the best source of inspiration for me is definitely Pinterest. I have my own board, where I pin ideas, things I have tried, and things I want to try…(you can see my board by clicking here)
Secondly, how do you recreate a look you see? This one can be a little more tricky because it’s easier for some than others. If you haven’t been one to try different things with your hair or experimented, then it’s going to take a little more practice. I have found that for me it is best to try out a style I have found when I have a little extra time. As I am waiting for my bath at night I will pull out my phone and work on some of the styles I have pinned. I practice, play around to make it work for me, so that when I am getting ready in the morning and don’t have as much time, I can still manage to pull it together!
Thirdly, choose a style that works for what you are doing and is right for the weather. I do realize that not everyone has long hair, and I definitely do love some shorter styles and even pixie cuts, especially if you are are really making them sassy…but for me, I love the versatility that mid to longer length hair gives me. I love the up-do and I love being able to be flexible every day on what I create with my hair, but also having the option to make sure I stay cool. I tend to wear my hair up a lot more in the warmer months just because it’s more practical because it means that my neck is not sweating like crazy.
A simple chignon bun looks classy, is easy to do and is honestly my “go to” style because I know I can create it in less than 5 minutes because I have done it so many times! I had a friend tell me that she will often sit behind me at church and try to figure out how I created my up-do. All I can tell you is that I have found simple things that cut my time down and I use every shortcut possible. My biggest secret is that all I do is put my hair in a ponytail making sure I have all the hair framing my face that I want, and then I take one of those really small clear elastics, wrap my hair into a bun shape and put that around the shape to hold it in place. I then add some bobby pins strategically to hold it in place.
Because I realize that so many of us are visual people, I will be creating a “how to” video for my simple “go to” up do, and I will be sending that out in my newsletter…so if you haven’t signed up, click here to do that so you don’t miss it!
No two people are exactly the same, we all like different things, we all enjoy spending time doing different things and different things make us feel good about ourselves.
In a world where as women we have long been known as the weaker sex, softer, less aggressive, more of a nurturer, etc., it doesn’t mean that we have to give up ourselves in order to look and feel feminine. I will admit that for the longest time I considered femininity to be a weakness, but what I have realized is that it is actually a power. Femininity is a tricky thing because it’s not something that you can just go after aggressively because that essentially kills the whole feminine vibe, it is something that you have to gently, softly and cautiously attract to yourself…so how do you do that?
I think that because we are all so different, there are different things that make us feel feminine, but there is also a good chance that how one person feels feminine may also carry a lot of weight with another person. Here are a few things that I use, what I call on when I want to feel feminine:
First things first, I don’t allow myself to think of femininity as a negative thing. I call it my superpower and I allow myself to take on it’s persona.
I am a very type A personality, I am driven and I am a boss lady, but when I want to feel feminine I don’t allow those of my traits to take over. I allow myself to feel vulnerable and let my empathy take over.
Wearing certain clothes can definitely affect how I feel and there are certain things that make me feel more feminine than others. Such as, lace, velvet, floral patterns, and soft lines in the design of a piece. Take the blouse I am wearing in this post – it flows, it’s soft and it gives the impression of gentleness.
There are certain hairstyles that scream femininity. I always feel feminine when I pull my hair back in a chignon, soft curls and waves can have the same effect.
The most important thing that I remember when I want to feel feminine and not “scare” people by being a boss lady is that I don’t have to be right all the time. It is especially hard when I know that I know something and I want to tell people that what I know is right, or I want to correct people, or just push my opinion…I know that if I do any of those things, it will have the exact opposite effect!
Feeling and looking feminine isn’t just about what you wear, it’s so much more. When I see models in magazines and they look really feminine and soft, I often wonder if that is what they are really like. Femininity is about letting your inner sensitive self come out (unless of course you are just planning on taking a picture and not interacting with anyone all day). I have found that the best connections I have made in my life are those that are based not on me being pushy or bold, but more about me being gentle, listening and being there for someone else. It doesn’t mean that you can’t create amazing connections if you are strong or bold, it just means that you might turn people off that are not quite as strong as you if you don’t approach them in a more gentle way first.
I am a strong woman, I love being strong, I love challenges and I love taking on things that scare me, and one of the biggest challenges I have had in my life is to know when to be gently strong. I honestly didn’t think it was a real thing, but what I am finding is that in my strength I have found a whole new level of strength that comes from being empathetic and loving.
Of course it also doesn’t hurt to look feminine, because I’m not going to lie, Brandon does appreciate it the most when I am sensitive and vulnerable. In fact he has told me that he feels the closest connection to me when I am gentle – way more than when I am working on my sexy vibe. Crazy to think that he might not be looking for what society has taught us that men like the most. He wants me to be real, relatable, vulnerable, sensitive and loving – and if that’s what creates the best connection between us, then that is what I want to nurture more than anything!
https://stylequeenie.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/IMG_2841.jpg24483264Stylequeeniehttps://stylequeenie.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/SQL2-300x84.pngStylequeenie2019-02-25 09:52:202019-02-25 10:02:30What Makes you Feel Feminine
When you are truly confident in yourself and what you bring to this world, you don’t ever feel the need to be someone you’re not, which includes dressing for YOU.
Because we are so unique as individuals, it is only a natural reaction to dress to express that uniqueness. When we do that, when we do it for ourselves without a fear of what others will think or the need to seek approval, that is one of the most empowering things we as women can do.
Who isn’t attracted to, or doesn’t want to be around a confident and self-assured person – I know I do. I am always drawn to strong women, and I know that’s because I am that way myself,. It comes down to the old saying of “birds of a feather flock together”.
So, the question is, what do you want to attract in your life? I feel empowered and even stronger when I am around other strong individuals, and the more time I spend around them, the stronger and more confident I feel.
I remember when I was in college I had a few posters on the walls of my apartment- and one of them was a Garfield poster that I found amusing because it showed Garfield with books balanced on his head and the quote said “I learn by osmosis”… I think I found it so funny because as I was taking a lot of medical classes I really wished that it was true.
It may not be true about college learning, but I can tell you that energy is contagious – OK, it may not osmosis but it kind of works in a similar way. When I choose to spend my time around those that lift me up rather than drain me, my cup is filled – which then leaves me energy to pass along and help others.
My style has always been exactly that – MINE. I don’t always wear the most ground breaking styles, or even buy all the newest things out (mainly because I don’t like them all, and I’m definitely not going to spend money on something I don’t like. I find my inspiration in lots of ways, in lots of different places and on lots of different people. I love experimenting, because that’s just me. You may like to stick to things you know, colors you love or you may even hate shopping. Whatever your way of dressing, my hope is that you do it for you. Not for a partner, not to be accepted, not to be envied by flashing lots of expensive designer stuff, and most definitely not to hide who you really are.
I thought it might be kind of fun to come up with a name for my style personality – I am
What is your style personality?
If you find any inspiration for your style from me…you can shop my look by clicking these links:
https://stylequeenie.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/SQ_afterlash_279.jpg54723648Stylequeeniehttps://stylequeenie.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/SQL2-300x84.pngStylequeenie2019-02-02 07:42:472019-02-02 07:40:34Dress For You
“Life is a mirror – what you see from your outside comes from your inside!”
Whether you’re like I was when I started this blog and hate having your picture taken, or even if you don’t mind at all, there are definitely some pictures that you HATE and those that you LOVE!
Thankfully in this digital age and with fast shutter speeds a lot of the pictures I have taken manage to capture me without my eyes closed, and some even make me have that “Vogue” feeling – where I feel like I could actually be a model. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t ACTUALLY think I could be in Vogue magazine, but I have learned to appreciate my beauty and definitely love finding good pictures of me.
The reason I am telling you this is that it is so important for us to see our own beauty, and like the quote says, true beauty comes from being beautiful on the inside too. I have known a lot of people in my life that may not have had the most attractive features but once I got to know them, I realized that they were the most beautiful of all people…because they radiated that inner beauty. The same can be said for those people that have the perfect features, and are pleasing to the eye, if they are not beautiful on the inside, that will eventually show and they won’t be seen as beautiful people. Do you remember that movie “Shallow Hal” with Jack Black and it had a cameo from Tony Robbins who actually taught him to see the inside and not just the outside. Once he did that he started overlooking people’s outside flaws and saw them for who they really are.
OK, so I know that Tony Robbins is not going to actually do that for each of us, but here’s a great way we can start: We can see ourselves as beautiful, recognize beauty in others (and not just appearance beauty but the real stuff) and the more that we look for it, the more we will see it (including in ourselves). I know a lot of people that can truly see beauty in others but have a hard time seeing it in themselves. For whatever reason they don’t like to look for it. Here’s what I’ll tell you, just like the lack of inner beauty eventually shows, so does the real beauty and no matter what, even if you kid yourself that you aren’t actually beautiful or deserve love, guess what, it’s going to come out in the end. You may as well see it for yourself because it’s not something that can be permanently hidden.
Shop my outfit & more by clicking the links below
Perhaps it’s a worthiness, where because of something in your past you don’t feel worthy of love or anyone’s praise? Perhaps you have heard your entire life that you aren’t beautiful from someone you trusted or loved? Or it could even be that you have faced some type of bullying or abuse? The only way you can change your past is by changing your future. If you’re still believing what someone told you, how you felt, and you’re ultimately agreeing with what they said or did, then you are still allowing that person or situation to control you. Maybe i’m the only one that has a problem with control, but I can tell you, something like that wouldn’t sit well with me – I definitely wouldn’t want to feel that someone or something else had power over me.
Don’t get me wrong, there have been times in my life when I have felt “less than” because of someone’s behavior, because of not meeting unrealistic expectations I put on myself, and many more reasons. So, when I did eventually come to my senses and realize that in order to move through something I had to just let go, that’s when everything changed. I have been known to have a hard time letting things go, i’m not going to lie, so when I tell you that I did it, just know that it didn’t happen overnight. In fact it took years, and during that time when I didn’t let go I was absolutely miserable. I had this notion that everyone should know what an injustice had been done to me, that it just wasn’t fair, and honestly I thought I was fighting back, but what I realized is that what I was doing was perpetuating the situation.
So how do we move through something so that we can start to see our beauty (and not just the mirror reflection kind of beauty)? The easy answer is just change your thoughts, but that’s easier said than done. So honestly, here’s what it will take…repetition, telling ourself that we are beautiful, so that eventually we start to see what others see. And here’s the best news, as you start to see beauty in yourself, the beauty around you becomes so much more pronounced and life just starts to seem rosier!
I don’t about you but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with looking at the world through rose colored glasses – who knows we might actually start to find things and people we didn’t even know existed.
Happy Wednesday – you’ve made it to the middle of the week, there’s definitely beauty in that!
“Aging is not lost youth, but a new stage of opportunity and strength!”
I remember being a teenager and feeling frustrated that I couldn’t do things that adults could and that I had rules that I felt were unnecessary! It’s so weird, that I was wishing my life away and wanting to grow up so quickly. Now that I am well into my forties my only regret is that I hadn’t spent my time wishing my years away. Now I value my time, every minute, and I love who I am today.
I no longer focus too much on things that are going to happen, but rather I like to enjoy exactly what is going on in the here and now. I realize how valuable time is and that every wrinkle and smile line is there because of the many experiences and the journey I have been on.
Aging is not for the faint of heart though – it is definitely something that is hard as a woman. I still feel like I am 20 years old, and I want to be able to do all the things I used to be able to do. That’s why staying healthy, staying in shape, taking care of my skin, my body and my mind are vital to me so that on the day that my kids decide to make me a Grandma, I can be the active, cool Grandma 🙂
I look in the mirror sometimes and don’t recognize the person I see. Sometimes I notice more of my flaws and the signs of aging and other times, I truly see what is underneath and recognize my value. As I already said, this getting older thing is something that needs quite a bit of faith and self love.
There are definitely some things about aging that we can’t control, but there are still some things we can do to ensure that we look the best as we’re doing it! I am all in favor of doing things that make you feel good – whether that is great skin care, eating healthy, exercising, relaxation or anything else that tickles your fancy!
Above everything else, no matter what, I know that feeling good about myself makes my inner light shine and that is the best anti-aging thing anyone can do!
Have a blessed Sunday!
https://stylequeenie.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/SQL2-300x84.png00Stylequeeniehttps://stylequeenie.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/SQL2-300x84.pngStylequeenie2018-10-20 22:57:122018-11-05 09:29:17Let your Inner Light Shine
“Eyes are captivatingly beautiful. Not because of the color but because of the words they hold within them!”
I am sure you have all heard that the eyes are the window to the soul…well, I can tell you that by looking into someone’s eyes, and I mean REALLY looking, you can actually tell a lot about a person!
In fact, if you really do take the time to sit and notice someone, look at them and connect with them you can feel their energy and start to learn things about them. I have always been someone that has had a hard time hiding my emotions, in fact if you ever really want to know how I am feeling about something, you just need to look at my face and definitely my eyes.
The reason I am telling you about this, is that the greatest thing we can do for ourselves and others in this live is to truly connect. So, if you really want to connect with someone, take the time to notice things about them, pay attention to their eye movement, whether they look you in the eye, and the sparkle or lack of sparkle in their eyes.
Does this seem crazy or are you open to this concept? After over 20 years in sales, I can attest to the importance of stepping into someone else’s world rather than pushing your own agenda. Even if you think you are not in sales so this doesn’t apply to you…think again. We are ALL in sales in one form or another. Whether you are starting a new relationship, interviewing for a new position, developing friendships or wanting to make the relationship with your spouse or children better, you are in sales. The goal is to let the other person really see what you are about, what a good person you are, and how much you care – all sales.
So, if you could just take the time to notice someone instead of carrying on your own agenda, how much do you think that could change your life? I know in my life, when I truly want to connect with someone, I don’t spend all the time talking about ME, I listen, I notice, I watch, and I learn…remembering important details in another person’s life and connecting with them on that level is vital to establishing and maintaining amazing relationships. I always tell my kids that if you want to HAVE a friend, you have to BE a friend – in that order!
Here’s the part where I have struggled in my life – I love to be the most loyal and trustworthy friend, but there have only been a select few that I have allowed to become that close to me. I have been reluctant to be completely vulnerable because of times in the past where people have taken advantage of that vulnerability. Only those that truly notice me are the ones that I have let in completely. While my actions were there to help protect me, what they actually have done in the past have ultimately made me more lonely and isolated. I am finally to a place in my life, where I know the REAL people that I want in it, I let those people in and I allow myself the grace to not be perfect and share that with those closest to me 🙂
Have you ever looked into someone’s eyes and just KNOWN what they are thinking or how they are feeling? I can tell you that this has made a huge difference in my life…it has allowed me to have amazing relationships and I feel very blessed because of them.
Could using this tool do anything in your life? As you look into my eyes what do you see?
https://stylequeenie.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/fullsizeoutput_2.jpeg29582857Stylequeeniehttps://stylequeenie.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/SQL2-300x84.pngStylequeenie2018-10-05 08:34:232019-05-01 09:14:00What your Eyes say about You
“Make sure you don’t start seeing yourself through the eyes of those that don’t value you or know your worth!”
When you look at yourself in the mirror what do you see? Do you notice your flaws or appreciate your beauty?
I think it is so easy to look ourselves and see only what is wrong and not notice the good things. We all have a voice in our head telling us things and sometimes it is not telling us good things. Sometimes it lets us believe that we are not good enough, it may even tell us to worry about what others may think of us or how they could view us. If we don’t have and unshakeable confidence in ourselves it is easy to see how some of these thoughts could make those moments in the front of the mirror less than fun.
A simple but effective technique I have found to work for me when I start feeling negative or self-defeating thoughts about myself or a situation is for every negative or bad thing I see, I make myself find 3 things that are good. So, for example, if I look at myself and think “I don’t like how fine my hair is” I then find 3 things that I love about myself as I am looking in the mirror. Maybe, I love the color of my eyes, I like my dimples and I love how it doesn’t take me long to style my hair because it’s fine.
I know, it may sound like a simplistic approach but I can promise that it works.
Another way I can appreciate myself more is by paying attention to myself. By taking care of how I look, spending time nurturing my need for alone time, checking in with myself to recognize when negative or sabotaging thoughts come into my mind.
I have found that the greater thought I take with my appearance, not for the benefit of others, always makes me feel better about myself. Whether you are someone that is interested in fashion or style, or if you prefer to not stand out doesn’t matter, because taking care of your appearance is really about you making the most of YOU for the benefit of YOU. My only hope is that more and more Women will confidence in being themselves and expressing themselves in their own unique way. When you feel great about how you look it changes everything. I even changes how others see you because people are drawn more to self confidence.
I hope this Friday as you head into the weekend you are able to focus more on the amazing things about you rather than what you perceive are your flaws. But, if you are still seeing what is wrong, take time to also notice what is great!
Shop my look and similar by clicking the links below.
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“People may hate you for being different and not living by society’s standards, but deep down they wish they had the courage to do the same!”
You may have noticed a common theme on my social media and blog, and that is I talk about not being afraid to be yourself, be unique and express YOUR style personality…
Here’s another thought – do you just have to have one personality? I don’t think so.
If you’re anything like me there are times when you want to be more edgy, there are times when you want to feel more feminine, and there are times when sophistication is the way you want to go. These are just a few of my style personalities, because I have many…the reason I tell you this is that I think it’s important to not ever limit yourself or pigeon hole yourself into one style. Today’s picture is a more feminine style, and that was what I was aiming for when I put it together. I felt good about how I looked and even curled my hair used heated curlers (yes I still have some of those even though I haven’t used them for a couple of years).
I have heard many people talk about how a certain style is “them” and that they always gravitate to certain styles, colors, patterns and cuts…and that’s absolutely OK, especially if you open your mind to other options as well.
I have talked a lot about what I was like growing up and how I always had a very strong idea about how I wanted to look, what I wanted to do and how I wanted to do it, so for me having the ability to change how I look has been very important. Being independent and strong willed, I never wanted to be limited or caged like a bird, for me freedom comes from knowing I can create whatever I want – even with style.
I do realize that not everyone has such a clear idea in their mind about how they might like to express their personality through their style, and certainly there are those of you that may not even think style or fashion is important. If you are one of these people, let me pose a couple of questions to you…do you feel self conscious when you are around someone that has the appearance of being completely put together? Do you compare yourself to others and how they look? Do you feel insecure about yourself in any way?
If you answered yes to any one of these questions, then I will tell you that there is hope! Self confidence comes from being comfortable with who you are, and more often than not, when you compare yourself to others it’s because you are judging yourself. I have found that the more care I take with how I look, the more positive reactions I get from others, and more importantly the better I feel about ME. Even if you don’t care about style or following the latest trends it doesn’t mean that you unican’t still rock your own style.
Here are some tips for finding your unique style:
Don’t be afraid to try something on because it scares you because it’s different.
Mix and match patterns, styles and colors – you never know what works together for you until you try it.
Ask a friend – I have a few friends that text me pictures of outfits and ask my opinion. I am always honest and you will want to find someone who will do the same for you.
Dress for the occasion – there is nothing worse than being over or under dressed. I always err on the side of dressing up more than down, and this has always worked for me.
Whatever outfit you put together, if you’ve followed the steps above, wear it with your head held high and walk with confidence.
Believe in YOU. You are unique, your style will be unique – don’t be a cookie cutter. Trying to be someone else is only going to cause more self consciousness.
I hope these tips help, but if you have questions, please email me and I will get back to you!
Shop the pieces of my outfit or similar by clicking the links below…
“Femininity is the ultimate form of sophistication.”
Femininity is actual a super power that very few women realize is what they should be tapping into. Femininity is not weak and it should never be taken lightly. In fact, in my humble opinion, when I am at my most feminine and vulnerable, those are the times that I am the most confident, successful and happy.
Lace, strappy sandals and fun accessories to achieve femininity
There are definitely times when femininity is not the role you play, because there are times when you need to be get a little down and dirty…For example, as I was growing up I was always a Tom Boy! Instead of a baby-doll I had a Go Cart, I liked to climb trees and play with Lego. My mum bought me pretty dresses and I opted for more functional clothes and shied away from the lacy, flowery types of outfits.
Now that I am grown up I still love cars, and because I have 4 boys, I pretty much go to their sports and still help them with Lego projects. However, that doesn’t mean that I don’t love to look and feel feminine. Putting together an outfit that is soft, and flirty is always fun. But, here’s the best part, femininity doesn’t always have to look the same way…in fact, it’s better if it doesn’t. Because femininity is something that starts inside you, the outfit is really just a reflection of that feeling you have. I believe that you could wear all leather and still be feminine, it doesn’t require lace, and it has a lot of room for you to interpret the way that is the best way for YOU to express YOUR personality.
Embroidery detail, soft pastel colors and metallic shoes for femininity with a twist
As Women in business we have so much more power than we know. I have found that sometimes people are intimidated by me and my energy. One way to ease that intimidation is by acting softer, and dressing in clothes that are not so edgy but are more feminine. When I dress in a more feminine way, it is a great way for me to feel and adopt a softer persona. But since that energy starts inside me, I have to make sure that my tone when I speak with people is a little softer (yes, I’ve been known to be a little overpowering, but that doesn’t mean I can’t change that perception).
As Women we have an inner strength that we need to harness and dressing in a way that helps us feel good about ourselves whilst also setting those we meet at ease, will help us achieve our goals and make us look and feel more successful. There are definitely times when a more “business” look is required, but that doesn’t mean that femininity needs to be forgotten. You will see a few examples of outfits that I felt feminine in, while at the same time feeling confident, strong and powerful.
Soft curls or waves, with a feminine top and natural makeup for ultimate femininity
Finding that right mix for you is important, so if you have any questions or would like me to make any suggestions of styles or outfits that can help you achieve your ultimate powerful, confident, feminine look, please email me and let’s chat!
Shop some of the looks in this post by clicking the shoppable links below…
https://stylequeenie.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/4352490010157625721-6VH-006.jpg551663Stylequeeniehttps://stylequeenie.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/SQL2-300x84.pngStylequeenie2018-06-18 11:48:302018-06-21 11:35:07Femininity is Your Secret Weapon