Femininity in Denim

Everybody is born stylish. Then we start wanting to look like other people!

Where do you think femininity comes from?  Is it something you wear?  How you dress?  Your makeup?  Or just simply how you feel about yourself?

I have talked about femininity before and one of the key notes that I always come back to is that femininity is absolutely tied to how you feel about yourself  Femininity is in fact a feeling that is transferred from you to whoever you are around.  I know that no matter what it is that I am wearing if I feel amazingly confident and happy with myself that is what I project.  Now, if I am wearing something that makes me feel better about myself because I’ve looked in the mirror and really like what I see, then I am more likely to feel feminine or classy – and here’s the absolute best part, it is a strength and power if we learn how to harness it.

So, with that being said, is it possible to feel really feminine when you are dressed more casually say in jeans or something completely casual?  I say absolutely YES!  For me, when I find a fantastic pair of jeans that fits my curves, that are comfortable and also that look amazing, I am going add a fabulous top and make that whole outfit just rock! By adding a nice blouse like I am wearing in this post, it dresses up the jeans a little more, but still has a casual, fun vibe.

Shop some hot denim picks at the end of the post by clicking the links

I am always open to trying new styles and stores, so when I was sent this pair of jeans from Dress Barn and they even offered to customize them for me, I jumped at the chance to give them a try.  Here is my honest feedback and review on what I liked about them…

  1. I have been loving the boot cut style (bringing it back again) because they are different from what a lot of other people are wearing.
  2. The denim fabric is really soft, stretchy and comfortable, which means that even if you’re not a fan of regular denim that can sometimes be harsh on the skin and not very flexible for sitting, you will love how these jeans feel.
  3. They are very affordable, which means that you don’t have to limit yourself to just one pair that you might have to if you were buying some of the more expensive designer jeans.
  4. They have a variety of different cuts and colors, so you can find exactly the style and color that works best for you – all with the same great fit that accentuates all your greatest features.
  5. Even though they are boot cut they are fitted, and they allow me to feel sexy, feminine and dress them up or down depending on what I am doing.  I recently wore them when I was traveling with a pair of mid heel booties, and they were perfect. Just the right amount of stretch and comfort for long periods of sitting.

No matter where you decide to get your jeans from, make sure that they are comfortable. There is nothing worse than a pair of jeans that makes you look great but you can hardly breathe and you couldn’t even entertain the idea of eating at all. For summer there are so many more jean & denim options, so have fun. Try some, wear them with a nice blouse, add some cool shoes, dress them up or down and see how you feel. When you exude femininity, which is ultimately where real femininity comes from, what you’re wearing will never take away from that. So I do believe that you can absolutely feel and look amazingly feminine when you are dressed casually and in jeans!

Have you ever had a day when you have woken up and you don’t feel great, for some reason you have a lack of energy, and you just don’t want to dress up at all.  I usually have about one day every other week where I experience a little demotivation around putting forth an effort on my appearance, or I just don’t care.   I have found that on those days, when I really push myself to make an effort, at some point during the day my mood starts to match my effort.  I have always felt like as Women we should use our outfits to express how we feel about ourselves, and sometimes to help us feel on the inside how we look on the outside.

You’ll have to let me know if this has ever worked for you like it does for me!

I have linked some great jeans below – just click the links to shop!

Love your Life

Be so busy loving your life that you have no time for hate, regret and fear!

OK – so we all know consciously that we only have one life to live and that we need to make the most of it…but I sometimes it’s easy to get caught up in what is NOT great, what’s wrong and the fact that our life may not be looking exactly like our expectation of how it should look.

When you were little did you have an idea of what your life was going to look like? Did you imagine yourself with 2.5 children, the perfect spouse, and a lovely well kept home? I know that I had an idea, or even an expectation, of what my life should look like. I wanted the marriage, the children, the unconditional love, the career, basically the fairytale…but I found out very early on that my life wasn’t going to take that path. I started out WITHOUT a fairytale relationship, became a single mum, moved from England by myself to the U.S. to create a life for myself and Dalton, my son. There were times when I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to pay the bills, I juggled paying the utilities, electricity and gas bills and had one or other of them disconnected at least once. It was a challenge, but I was up for that challenge!

I was so attached to the idea of having that perfect life that at times I felt like a failure. I felt like I wasn’t enough. I felt like my life sucked! Then something happened to make me see things differently. I had some friends that made me start to believe in myself again. Through talking me through what I DID have and make me start appreciating it again, I was able to start believing that I could have the life I wanted. It started with me being more than OK with where I was at that time, in fact, I started to feel that even if I never met anyone and spent the rest of my life with just Dalton – then that was enough for me!

Things didn’t start out ideal or PERFECT, but after a few years, I met Brandon and everything really changed. After a few more kids, we created the family that both Dalton and I had always wanted (although I’m pretty sure Dalton always wanted a sister, but I gave him 3 brothers instead 😉 ) .

Our family life has not always been a bed of roses, but it’s still amazing. Through the personal growth and development business that Brandon started we both grew stronger, happier and more fulfilled…but not without consistent effort, and that’s what I want to talk about today…

Being happy and loving your life when everything is going well is easy to do. It’s finding joy, fulfillment and happiness through the hard times – because there will always be hard times.

So how do you feel happy and fulfilled when all the cards seem to be stacked against you?

I found that the first step was to believe that I deserved to be happy no matter what. I embraced that mindset and a funny thing happened – I actually BECAME happy. My focus was on gratitude for what I DID have instead of what I DID NOT have! It may seem a little hard to believe but I am 100% certain that by appreciating how amazing my life was, focusing on my love for Dalton, my love for myself and my love for being in the U.S…that’s what allowed me to open the door for even greater things.

Are you in a place where you feel down or you’re not finding joy in your life? Does it seem like life is against you?

Life can be a dark place if we focus on dark thoughts, but it can also bring an amazing light into our lives when we focus on beautiful things, on appreciating what we have, what we’re grateful for and feel fulfilled knowing that we ARE ENOUGH.

I just wanted to share a little about what brought me here and why I will always focus on gratitude…

If you’re looking to improve any area of your life, I know with 100% certainty that whatever you focus on you get more of…so why not focus on all that is positive, good and amazing about yourself and this life?

My T shirt is here and my jeans are here…both from Nordstrom (shoes are from my closet).
Even better news – shop the Nordstrom Spring Sale for up to 50% off brands that I love like TOPSHOP, MADEWELL and BRASS PLUM right here!

Life is an Adventure

She was powerful, not because she wasn’t scared, but because she went on strongly despite the fear!

If you’ve been reading my blog for a while or you know me personally you’ll know that I am not what you might call a “shrinking violet”. I am not someone that accepts things as they are, I am always questioning, always looking to improve and always making amazing new connections.

To me this life is to be filled with amazing memories, amazing people and fear…the kind that forces you to push your way through it to become a stronger, more confident and happy individual.

You may or may not know that I am deathly afraid of heights, but I also LOVE zip lining. I know, I know, it’s a contradiction…so what do I do? Well, what I have realized is that in order for me to do what I love, I have to push through a fear that has been with me for my whole life. It is a fear that is deep rooted, and I am not sure I can even tell you where it came from or when I first started feeling that way. All I know is that when I am up high, I start to feel clammy, my breathing changes and I freak out if my kids go too near the edge.

I first tried zip lining 10 years ago, and fell in love with it then. I’m not sure if I even thought about what I was going to have to do, all I know is that once I was up there, flying down the line with the breeze hitting my face, it was too late to turn back.

So why am I telling you this…well, the point really is this: We all have fears, we all have things that hold us back in life, but we don’t have to let those fears take hold. I set aside my fear of heights so I could do something that meant more to me than the fear that might cause me to not do it could.

Here’s where I think breaking through that fear worked for me…I wanted to try something new, I had a bunch of people with me that were doing it (including little kids), and here’s the clincher, I didn’t let my brain tell me not to do it. Have you ever noticed that when you want to do something that might be scary or dangerous, you get thoughts about all the crazy things that MIGHT happen if you do it? You get thoughts of how everything could go wrong – in fact you can even start to visualize it all. Here’s the think – our brain (or mind as some think of it) is trying to protect us – to keep us safe and cozy in our comfort zone. Our comfort zone is the thing that completely stops us from growing and being who we are destined to be.

It’s not that I think by zip lining I am now going to be this amazing adventure athlete, but what it represented to me was that I can control what my mind thinks. I can decide if I do or do not do something. ME – I am the one in control…

It actually fuels my fire. It drives me to want to be better. To do something every day that scares me…so that when the big things come along, they don’t actually feel that big.

What do you say? Are you with me?

What Makes you Feel Feminine

When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid!

No two people are exactly the same, we all like different things, we all enjoy spending time doing different things and different things make us feel good about ourselves.

In a world where as women we have long been known as the weaker sex, softer, less aggressive, more of a nurturer, etc., it doesn’t mean that we have to give up ourselves in order to look and feel feminine. I will admit that for the longest time I considered femininity to be a weakness, but what I have realized is that it is actually a power. Femininity is a tricky thing because it’s not something that you can just go after aggressively because that essentially kills the whole feminine vibe, it is something that you have to gently, softly and cautiously attract to yourself…so how do you do that?

I think that because we are all so different, there are different things that make us feel feminine, but there is also a good chance that how one person feels feminine may also carry a lot of weight with another person. Here are a few things that I use, what I call on when I want to feel feminine:

  1. First things first, I don’t allow myself to think of femininity as a negative thing. I call it my superpower and I allow myself to take on it’s persona.
  2. I am a very type A personality, I am driven and I am a boss lady, but when I want to feel feminine I don’t allow those of my traits to take over. I allow myself to feel vulnerable and let my empathy take over.
  3. Wearing certain clothes can definitely affect how I feel and there are certain things that make me feel more feminine than others. Such as, lace, velvet, floral patterns, and soft lines in the design of a piece. Take the blouse I am wearing in this post – it flows, it’s soft and it gives the impression of gentleness.
  4. There are certain hairstyles that scream femininity. I always feel feminine when I pull my hair back in a chignon, soft curls and waves can have the same effect.
  5. The most important thing that I remember when I want to feel feminine and not “scare” people by being a boss lady is that I don’t have to be right all the time. It is especially hard when I know that I know something and I want to tell people that what I know is right, or I want to correct people, or just push my opinion…I know that if I do any of those things, it will have the exact opposite effect!

Feeling and looking feminine isn’t just about what you wear, it’s so much more. When I see models in magazines and they look really feminine and soft, I often wonder if that is what they are really like. Femininity is about letting your inner sensitive self come out (unless of course you are just planning on taking a picture and not interacting with anyone all day). I have found that the best connections I have made in my life are those that are based not on me being pushy or bold, but more about me being gentle, listening and being there for someone else. It doesn’t mean that you can’t create amazing connections if you are strong or bold, it just means that you might turn people off that are not quite as strong as you if you don’t approach them in a more gentle way first.

I am a strong woman, I love being strong, I love challenges and I love taking on things that scare me, and one of the biggest challenges I have had in my life is to know when to be gently strong. I honestly didn’t think it was a real thing, but what I am finding is that in my strength I have found a whole new level of strength that comes from being empathetic and loving.

Of course it also doesn’t hurt to look feminine, because I’m not going to lie, Brandon does appreciate it the most when I am sensitive and vulnerable. In fact he has told me that he feels the closest connection to me when I am gentle – way more than when I am working on my sexy vibe. Crazy to think that he might not be looking for what society has taught us that men like the most. He wants me to be real, relatable, vulnerable, sensitive and loving – and if that’s what creates the best connection between us, then that is what I want to nurture more than anything!

Growth from Change

Change is inevitable, growth is optional!

As I sit and contemplate all the things that have happened to me since I left my job back in October, there is one thing I can tell you that I have learned…very often we can’t control the change that happens to us, but we can definitely control the impact it has on our lives and whether or not we grow because of it! I made the choice to change my career path, it was definitely a scary thing for me because I had been doing the same thing for almost 20 years.

I knew that it was the right time for me to change, because I was too comfortable and needed to create some growth in my life by helping others…and that is exactly what I have been doing and it’s only going to get better. Making the choice to change and step outside of our comfort zones is not an easy one, and we will find ourselves second guessing our decision, doubting our abilities and even deciding not to do it, but it’s at those moments, the times when we feel overwhelmed that we know it’s exactly what we DO need to do!

Have you ever had an experience in your life where you faced an immense amount of opposition but you did it anyway? What was your experience? Did you regret your decision? More often than not, if we do work ourselves through the fear, when we reach the other side we find that it was the best thing we have ever done. If you were to sit and think about two or three of the most amazing experiences in your life what would they be? Would it be the birth of a child? Skydiving? Getting married? Swimming with sharks? Really think about it…

 The most amazing experiences in my life are the births of my children, marrying Brandon, having the guts to move to the US from England as a single Mum and creating a successful career. Do you know what all of these things have in common? They all required me to face a fear at some point and push my way through. The birth of children is one of the most scary yet amazing experiences anyone could ever have – and we don’t allow the fear of what might be or what could happen stop us from doing it…so why do we allow fears of other circumstances allow us to talk ourselves out of change and getting outside of our comfort zones?

Here’s another thing about change – sometimes we don’t get to choose whether it happens or not, but we do get to choose whether we learn and grow from it. We are going to face challenges, face things that we don’t always want to face, but how we face those things is entirely up to us. We can either do it with frustration because we didn’t want it to happen, or we can embrace it and learn as much as possible. Some of the hardest experiences in my life have actually turned out to be the things that I have learned the most from. Having Dalton and being a single mum for 5 years before I met Brandon was a challenge to say the least, but I can honestly say that had I not gone through that I wouldn’t be the Woman I am today.

I would not change one thing about it, I love Dalton, I love my relationship with him and I love the life we were able to create for ourselves before Brandon came along. It was such an empowering time in my life because it taught me that if I really want something I am not afraid to put in the work to make it happen!

Exciting News

Some Women are lost in the fire, some Women are built from it!

On my social media recently I have talked a little about how I was planning on launching a video podcast series…well, I am excited to let you know that the wait is finally over…My pilot episode is ready. It is all about empowerment, confidence building, a little bit of style and a sprinkle of laughs. Confidence grows as we grow, I have found that the more I share what I know, what I am learning and how I feel, the stronger and more confident I become. Empowered women empower other women – why not subscribe and join this ride?

You can view my very first Video Podcast by clicking the image below…

Click this picture to watch the Podcast 🙂

I will be posting a new one each week, and they will be focused on topics like:

“How to find true confidence”
“Your age or size doesn’t define who you are”
“Know your audience”
“I’m me, you are you – feeling comfortable with who YOU are”
and many more…

My goal with this Video Podcast is to make you feel great about yourself through confidence building, strength empowerment, and some incredible fashion tips that you can use for your everyday life. I want all you amazing women out there to be the best versions of yourselves and the ultimate goal is for you to love yourselves.

Over my years as a successful business woman, mother, wife and so much more, I have searched for and found amazing confidence building styles, fashions, and frames of mind.

Why don’t you join me in my journey and start following my podcast – which is currently available on iTunes by just clicking here or searching Stylequeenie. If you don’t have access to an Apple Device, just click the link above…

Stay tuned for when you can download directly from the FM100 app or at fm100.com.

I would love to hear what you think!

You Were Born to Stand Out

If people were rain – why be drizzle when you can be a hurricane?!

I remember when I started my first sales job, I would be working at my desk (even before I had my own computer and had to just make phone calls), and would need a break every so often…so I would jump up and take a walk around the office. I had quite a few people tell me that they always knew it was me because my walk was so distinctive. I don’t know if I knew exactly what they meant until someone told me that I “walk with purpose” that I got it. What they were telling me was that I knew where I was going, what I wanted and that no matter what I was going to get it!

Since I quit my job last year, I haven’t been quite so sure in my direction, what my ultimate purpose is, but I haven’t changed the fact that I walk with purpose. In fact, I think I actually do it even more now because it just feels right to me.

No matter what are goals are, where we are going or what we are working towards achieving, the absolute only way we will ever get there is if we are decisive and determined to get there. Walking with purpose is only part of the equation, we have to believe with all the fiber in our being that we WILL get there, otherwise we never will.

I thought the quote for this topic was perfect because I believe that if I want to chase my dreams I have to do it in a way that makes those dreams notice that I coming, and what better way than a hurricane to do that? 😉

What if we all believed that we were destined for great things, that there was truly nothing to hold us back, would our goals and dreams change?

Would we focus on bigger things because there was no reason that we weren’t going to get there?

Would we allow ourselves a little grace when we fell down knowing that we will once again get up and still reach the dreams?

When I talk about dreams, I am not talking “pie in the sky” or something that only involves visualization (not that visualization is bad, but without the work it doesn’t mean anything)…I am talking belief in ourselves, trust that we can make something happen, knowing that we are enough to be who we want to be…

So knowing that…what goals would you set knowing that you are enough to achieve them?

Dress For You

Style is a deeply personal expression of who you are, and every time you dress, you are asserting a part of yourself!

When you are truly confident in yourself and what you bring to this world, you don’t ever feel the need to be someone you’re not, which includes dressing for YOU.

Because we are so unique as individuals, it is only a natural reaction to dress to express that uniqueness. When we do that, when we do it for ourselves without a fear of what others will think or the need to seek approval, that is one of the most empowering things we as women can do.

Who isn’t attracted to, or doesn’t want to be around a confident and self-assured person – I know I do. I am always drawn to strong women, and I know that’s because I am that way myself,. It comes down to the old saying of “birds of a feather flock together”.

So, the question is, what do you want to attract in your life? I feel empowered and even stronger when I am around other strong individuals, and the more time I spend around them, the stronger and more confident I feel.

I remember when I was in college I had a few posters on the walls of my apartment- and one of them was a Garfield poster that I found amusing because it showed Garfield with books balanced on his head and the quote said “I learn by osmosis”… I think I found it so funny because as I was taking a lot of medical classes I really wished that it was true.

It may not be true about college learning, but I can tell you that energy is contagious – OK, it may not osmosis but it kind of works in a similar way. When I choose to spend my time around those that lift me up rather than drain me, my cup is filled – which then leaves me energy to pass along and help others.

My style has always been exactly that – MINE. I don’t always wear the most ground breaking styles, or even buy all the newest things out (mainly because I don’t like them all, and I’m definitely not going to spend money on something I don’t like. I find my inspiration in lots of ways, in lots of different places and on lots of different people. I love experimenting, because that’s just me. You may like to stick to things you know, colors you love or you may even hate shopping. Whatever your way of dressing, my hope is that you do it for you. Not for a partner, not to be accepted, not to be envied by flashing lots of expensive designer stuff, and most definitely not to hide who you really are.

I thought it might be kind of fun to come up with a name for my style personality – I am

What is your style personality?

If you find any inspiration for your style from me…you can shop my look by clicking these links:

I Believe in Superheroes

Weakness is a Superpower in Disguise!

I have always loved the superhero movies – maybe because I grew up in a home with only brothers and now I only have sons. Nevertheless, when a new movie comes out I am the first to want to be there, and I absolutely love them!

With all of that being said, I do believe that the world actually has REAL superheroes. I don’t believe in them in the same way that Superman can fly or Aquaman (oh boy! Aquaman…) can actually survive underwater, but more in the sense that we all have our own super powers should we choose to use them.

Shop my look by clicking the links at the bottom of this post…

Our family went to watch “Glass” earlier this week, and for those of you that have seen that or seen “Unbreakable” or “Split” you may get where I am going with this. I don’t want to be the one to ruin this movie for you just in case you haven’t seen it, but just know that in the movie things you would not expect to be superpowers or strengths actually are what make the characters super-human. I really enjoyed the movie and would definitely recommend it. Unbreakable was the prequel to this movie and released in 2000. In that movie Bruce Willis’s character was the sole survivor of a train wreck and it was at that point after he had experienced such trauma that he realized what his superpower was.

After I watched it I started contemplating how if in the movie (and yes, I do know that it was not based on fact), if it was possible to have strengths or superpowers, then why not in real life? I have always believed that our talents or strengths are actually our superpowers. We are not all good at the same things, and that is what makes us stronger and more unique.

The quote I posted at the top of this blog is one that really resonated with me, because if we consider our weaknesses and how they can stop us from reaching our full potential, how amazing would it be if we converted those weaknesses into our strengths?

So, if we consider our weaknesses and how we can turn them into our strengths, what is the one that you really want to be your superpower? I would love to say that I am going to turn the fact that I am not the fastest runner into me being The Flash, but in the real world, that will never happen. So, I am going to focus on those things I know can make me stronger, more confident, resilient and happy!

For now – I consider my superpowers to be: I believe I can do anything if I put my mind to it, confidence, empathy, and inner strength. What are yours?

Real Not Perfect

Shop my look & similar by clicking the links at the bottom of the post

To be worthy doesn’t mean having to be perfect!

Perfection is something that is one of those unattainable goals that we somehow seem to be striving for, always in vain. We set expectations on ourselves and set ourselves up for failure when our goal or expectation is to become perfect.

It is easy to get caught up in wanting ourselves to be perfect, but it is also very dangerous because when we are wanting that perfection it very often doesn’t stop at ourselves and we come to want or even expect that from others around us as well!

In previous posts I’ve talked a little about how comparison of ourselves to others is fatal, and in this age of social media, it’s really hard to not allow ourselves to succumb to such self-sabotaging behavior. So how do we change our mindset so that striving for personal excellence is what we aim for? Here are some things that I use daily and they work for me:

  1. Choose to focus only on being better each day than the day before – rather than focusing on what we’re doing wrong or we’re not great at.
  2. Choose to appreciate and love the things we are good at and build on those…
  3. Practice positive self-talk so that we can start to realize how amazing we are.
  4. Allow ourselves to celebrate any victory, whether great or small. That way we are not always dissatisfied with our results. We have to appreciate the small things first otherwise we won’t know what the big things are!
  5. Don’t just focus on the outcome – a lot of growth and strength building comes in the journey. In the learning – you know, the falling down and getting up!
  6. Sometimes procrastination comes from not wanting to not be able to complete something or do it perfectly. Allowing ourselves the grace to not finish something immediately gives us the opportunity to avoid procrastination and learn something along the way.

I know when I let go of my need to control everything, my need for things to go EXACTLY according to a plan I might have in my mind, I am always pleasantly surprised by the results I get. My expectations have been known to get me into trouble, because I promise you the scenarios and outcomes I create in my mind are so much more elaborate than I could ever create in real life. It took me a while to realize that I didn’t want to hold myself back and I certainly didn’t want to be unhappy…but once I did, it created a huge amount of freedom and was light a weight being lifted off my shoulders.

I used to think that the pressure I put on myself – the pressure to create success and fulfillment – was what made me successful, but what I have realized after A LONG time is that it’s actually the opposite. I am always going to be driven, motivated, have a love of stepping out of my comfort zone, but it was actually the expectations and the need for perfection that held me back rather than making me better. It’s hard to come to the realization that I was sabotaging my own success, but once I did and I became conscious about my behavior…that’s when the magic started to happen!