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Create Your Own Day

 

“Ask yourself – what’s really important and then have the courage and wisdom to build your life around the answer!”

 

I recently came across this concept and I absolutely fell in love with it…

It’s the concept of creating your own day.  What I mean is, other than your birthday, what day do you use to celebrate YOU?  I have found that my birthday, as enjoyable as it is, is never really just about me – not in a bad way, but it involves celebrations, dinners, and very often I have to work.  So when I came across this concept I immediately latched onto it.

Here’s the thought…Make a day your own.  Create a celebration of you and spend time doing whatever it is that sets your soul on fire.  If it’s being alone, then do that, if you prefer to be with friends or family, do that.  Ultimately the goal is to take a day to reflect on where you are in your life, what you’ve accomplished, how you feel about yourself, what you are grateful for and so on.  My theory (I haven’t actually tried it yet) is that I will feel rejuvenated, I will find it easier to handle stresses, challenges, disappointments and it will reaffirm why I love my life.  I know, no matter what, there are always things that aren’t the best that are happening in our lives, but when you start to look at how things are happening FOR you and not TO you, it can change your perspective.

I haven’t decided the date I am going to celebrate my day, but I’ll give you some ideas of what I love to do so that maybe you can come up with some of your own or use some of mine:

  1. I will workout in the morning, that way I know no matter what happens during the day, I feel good about me knowing I am taking care of my body.
  2. I will get a massage, a pedicure or a facial.  Just a few things that are focused on self-care and love.
  3. I will have a lunch at one of my favorite lunch spots with a friend that I know will lift me up.
  4. I will do a little shopping – it actually relaxes me.
  5. I will find the best bakery in town and get myself the most decadent dessert (I have to because there’s no birthday cake 😉 ) And I won’t feel guilty because I worked out already.
  6. I will go for a drive up the canyon and take in all the beauty.  I love to drive different ways, see different things and feel appreciation.  If the weather is warm enough I will trade the drive for a bike ride.  I love taking my mountain bike into the foothills and getting dusty while I am enjoying the view.
  7. I will go to dinner with my lovely husband, because he’s the one that can make me feel the most amazing of all.

 

 

 

It may seem silly, but if there is something I can do to help in the self care department or something that will help me remember that I am important and that ME taking care of ME doesn’t have to mean neglecting anyone else.  in fact, it is necessary to take care of me, so that I CAN take care of others.

What do you think about this concept?  Are you on board?

My birthday is February and I hate that I can’t do a lot of the things I love because the weather is usually cold, so I will probably plan MICHELLE DAY for a day in the spring or summer…stay tuned!  I’ll post some pics 🙂

you can shop some coats similar to the one I’m wearing by clicking the links below…

 

 

Feel Good in your own Skin

“The best gift you can ever give yourself is the permission to feel safe in your own skin.  To feel worthy, and like you are enough!”

Feeling good in your own skin is so much more than being confident in how you look…it is more about who you are as a person and how you feel about that person.

We all came into this world the same way, but our experiences and our relationships in our lives shape us into who we are today. Sometimes those experiences can  cause us to feel insecure, lacking in confidence, or even make us feel like we are not good enough.  It can be hard to move through things that trigger us, or make us feel like this, but there are definitely steps we can take to help soften us and allow us to feel more worthy, more comfortable in our own skin and ultimately more confident.

I have found that the more I give myself grace for not being perfect, and the more I don’t compare myself or what I do to others, the better I feel about myself.  I can tell you that this getting older thing is not for the faint of heart.  I didn’t realize how much it affected me until I saw some pictures of me when I was younger, and noticed that I have laughter lines, I have wrinkles I had chosen not to notice before and that perhaps my muscles aren’t as toned as they once were.

 

 

So, as we go through life, how do we feel good about ourselves even as these things happen?

Here are a few things that help me – maybe they’ll help you too:

  1. Take care of yourself – for me this can be as simple as taking a bath at night, reading a good book or just having a small amount of time to be left with my thoughts.  I like to be unpredictable, so for me going on a bike ride in a different direction, walking the dog a different route or even driving home a different way allow me to feel free and let the stresses of the day go a little.  We don’t all have the same things that relax us or make us feel good, so whatever it is for you, that’s what you need to do.  It seems like the world is advertising to us all the time about what we should do, eat, wear, and like…but ultimately whatever it is that makes YOU feel good, well that’s what you need to do!
  2. Focus on the good – it’s easy to be critical about your flaws or what is wrong with you…so what if every time you saw something that you didn’t like about you, in turn you found something to appreciate about that thing.  For example, I always had a really flat stomach and that’s not the case anymore…but here’s the best part – I have 4 boys that I am immensely grateful for,  and I wouldn’t trade a little bit of a stomach for any of those kids.  Another could be the wrinkles around my eyes – but I appreciate that I have had plenty to laugh about in this life.
  3. Embrace your Uniqueness – we are all created to be different,  so why would we want to change who we are in order to fit in?  I am very lucky that my parents always encouraged me to embrace my unique, quirky and feisty personality, because I wouldn’t be who I am today if I hadn’t.  Society teaches about fitting in all the time, and social media only accentuates that need…but what if we considered that the world just wouldn’t be as it should without US and what unique traits we have to offer.
  4. Don’t be afraid to be alone – before I met Brandon I was a single mom for about 5 years, and during that time I really wanted to meet someone to settle down.  What I realized is that I wasn’t ready to meet him until I was 100% OK with being alone.  I love the time I spend by myself, not that I don’t love the company of my family or my friends, but I also need that time to make me the best I can be for all of them.  Taking time to be alone to read, to contemplate, meditate, or exercise are great ways for us to enjoy alone time.
  5. Do things that make you happy – as you have probably noticed by now, one of my biggest loves is travel.  I love to travel with Brandon, with my kids, my friends and even alone.  The thrill of exploring new places, enjoying sunshine, waterfalls, the ocean, the forest, and many, many other things is really the reason I work.  Even going out of town for business is a huge thrill for me because I usually get at least a little time to relax.  I love to shop (I know, shocker), I love to go to movies and dinner with my family, I love river rafting, hiking, biking and sunbathing.  By doing any of these things we are able to fill our cups to make us better for ourself and those around us.

 

Oh and if by wearing some funky boots, or a fabulous leather skirt makes you feel as good as it makes me feel…I’ve linked my boots and the rest of my outfit (or similar pieces) below…


See Yourself Through the Eyes

 

“Sometimes you can’t see yourself clearly until you see yourself through the eyes of others!”

This thought provoking quote was how I wanted to start today’s blog post.  I thought it was so poignant because how others view us really can have a lot to do with how we view ourselves.

I 100% believe that how I am feeling about myself, how I am acting and more importantly how I am treating myself can all lead to how others treat us.  There have been times in my life where I have been in a dark, negative place and consequently I tended to show a lot more anger, frustration and impatience, and surprise, surprise, guess what I got in return.

So, the most obvious question is why would we treat ourself in any other way than how we would like others to treat us?  Why would we want to let other people know that it is OK to treat us that way, and more importantly, why would we do that to ourselves.  The answer is simple, more often than not, when we are in a cycle like this, we are completely unaware that we are doing it.  Have you ever wondered why sometimes you act a certain way and have no idea why you do it?  I definitely have, and when I am conscious enough to start to think about it, the only thing that comes to mind is that old habits and bad advice from past experiences are rearing their ugly heads.

The more conscious we are about what we are feeling and how we are acting the more likely we are going to be able to build a happy life.

 

 

It is also important to be conscious about how we treat other people, because I have seen it time and time again, the more patient you are with someone the more you are going to get the same treatment in return (unless of course we’re talking about kids which is a whole other topic!) . I have noticed that I can definitely make assumptions about someone based on their appearance, but guess what, my assumption is very often not correct, and more importantly, the more I do that with others, the more likely that people are going to do the same to me.  However we act based on what we feel, that is exactly the kind of thing we are going to attract to ourselves.  Feel and act negatively – that’s exactly what you’re going to get.  Feel happy – you are going to attract happiness and happy people into your life.

I used to think that a lot of the self help programs were very “woo woo” and that how is it possible to “attract” something to me by acting a certain way?  Well, I am a scientist, I love to know the facts, I love to think things through from start to finish and what my thought process has taught me is that our bodies are basically a big ball of energy, so why would it not be possible to attract certain energies based on the energy we give off?  I have volunteered in my kid’s school for their “Hands on Science” and I love it, I love re-learning the fundamentals about how energy works.  How our cells are made up and how all of these theories may be actually fact.  Seeing the kid’s eyes light up when you show them how the energy works is fascinating and I love to see their excitement.  I wish we as adults got excited about things even half as much as kids do!

It is important when you look at yourself through the eyes of others to be open minded.  It will allow us to improve upon ourselves and shift people’s opinion if they are not viewing us in a favorable way, and it will also allow us to recognize that we are worthy to have people love and respect us if that is what they are seeing in us.  I honestly believe that our families and our closest friends really do know us and how they treat us, act when they are around us and whether they trust us or not are great gauges to find out how someone feels.

I am hoping that this topic will give you pause to think and allow you to start off your week in the most positive way possible 🙂

HAPPY MONDAY

 

How to Handle Haters and Jealous People

“Jealousy is when you count someone else’s blessings instead of your own!”

We have all experienced jealousy and hatred in some way in our lives, and more often than not the jealousy or hatred that others seem to feel about us has absolutely nothing to do with us.

I am sometimes a black and white thinker and in situations like this I have had a hard time figuring out why someone could be so mean or hateful.  It just didn’t make sense to me…and here’s the truth, it probably never will.  How others feel about us has less to do with us and more to do with them.  Very often if you encounter someone that says hateful things about you or is just very jealous and does whatever possible to bring you down, it is because they have an insecurity themselves or they are just generally unhappy people and hate to see others happy.

The only control you can have around people and situations like this is to not take it personally.  Realizing that you are very unlikely to be able to change their opinion or change what they think is the first step in not letting how they feel control how you feel!  I have also realized that I don’t need that kind of negativity in my life so I choose to surround myself with only those people that make me feel good, lift me up and have my back.

I have encountered some less than favorable comments on my social media, and I have had some very unsavory people write me personal messages that are not something I want to read.  Of course if we are talking about social media and how people hide behind their profiles and use that as an opportunity to just be mean, then there is the greatest tool ever – we can block those people!

Sometimes we may work with people that are our “haters” so ignoring them isn’t an option.  That’s when the grown up in us has to kick in and address the situation head on.  Speaking directly to the person and letting them know that you want to create a good working environment is necessary and that there is no excuse for not being professional – and most importantly that you are not going to let their behavior affect your ability to work in a positive working environment.

One of the hardest but most productive approaches I have found with people like this too is to turn the tables.  Essentially to kill them with kindness, compliment on something, make them feel good about themselves, and most importantly be nice.  Being nice to someone that is essentially mean isn’t an easy thing to do, but it most often diffuses a situation and even if it doesn’t change their mind about you, it may just change your perspective, which is 100% the only thing you can control.

 

There have been times in my life where I have allowed the behavior of others, the negativity and jealousy to affect how I felt.  It brought me down, it made me feel dark, unloved, not good enough, sad, and even depressed at times.  I won’t say that I am completely over all of this, but I have certainly learned to be able to take a step back and not allow others to control me or have any power over me. We are all a work in progress, so I don’t get this right every time, but the key is that I am aware of it.  I notice how others treat me, I pay attention to body language because very often what people say to our faces verbally is not really what they’re thinking.  I watch how people treat others, if they speak behind their backs, and I don’t allow those people to get too close to me because very often if they treat one person that way, they could do it to me.  I tend to be very discerning about who I let into my close circle, and that doesn’t mean that I am lonely it just means that I am picky, because I want to be.  I want only genuine people in my life, because that is what I am!

Sometimes reading about another persons experience helps us with our own challenges.  Even if only one thing I said here resonates with you and helps you, I consider that a WIN!

Happy Friday!

 

Appreciate Your Beauty

“Make sure you don’t start seeing yourself through the eyes of those that don’t value you or know your worth!”

 

When you look at yourself in the mirror what do you see?  Do you notice your flaws or appreciate your beauty?

I think it is so easy to look ourselves and see only what is wrong and not notice the good things.  We all have a voice in our head telling us things and sometimes it is not telling us good things.  Sometimes it lets us believe that we are not good enough, it may even tell us to worry about what others may think of us or how they could view us.  If we don’t have and unshakeable confidence in ourselves it is easy to see how some of these thoughts could make those moments in the front of the mirror less than fun.

A simple but effective technique I have found to work for me when I start feeling negative or self-defeating thoughts about myself or a situation is for every negative or bad thing I see, I make myself find 3 things that are good.  So, for example, if I look at myself and think “I don’t like how fine my hair is” I then find 3 things that I love about myself as I am looking in the mirror.  Maybe, I love the color of my eyes, I like my dimples and I love how it doesn’t take me long to style my hair because it’s fine.

I know, it may sound like a simplistic approach but I can promise that it works.

 

 

Another way I can appreciate myself more is by paying attention to myself.  By taking care of how I look, spending time nurturing my need for alone time, checking in with myself to recognize when negative or sabotaging thoughts come into my mind.

I have found that the greater thought I take with my appearance, not for the benefit of others, always makes me feel better about myself.  Whether you are someone that is interested in fashion or style, or if you prefer to not stand out doesn’t matter, because taking care of your appearance is really about you making the most of YOU for the benefit of YOU.  My only hope is that more and more Women will confidence in being themselves and expressing themselves in their own unique way.  When you feel great about how you look it changes everything.  I even changes how others see you because people are drawn more to self confidence.

I hope this Friday as you head into the weekend you are able to focus more on the amazing things about you rather than what you perceive are your flaws.  But, if you are still seeing what is wrong, take time to also notice what is great!

Happy weekend…

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