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“Our greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another!”
As you can imagine with all that is going on during the holidays our stress level can multiply sometimes to the point that it can cause depression and stress…
There is always going to be an overwhelming list of things to accomplish, and if you have kids that list seems to grow even more. Things we can’t control are sometimes going to take over our thoughts and cause us to feel like we are like a hamster running on a wheel. I have always prided myself in being organized, but during the holiday season sometimes all the best intentions can make no difference. Finding the “perfect” gift, planning meals, parties and get-together’s can start to build on each other to the point of us suddenly having a mountain to climb!
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Finding ways to handle stress and take some things in your stride are some of the ways to achieve a more peaceful and calm holiday season…here are some others to help you focus on the good things about the season rather than all the overwhelming things we need to do:
- Be realistic. It’s OK if the holidays aren’t “perfect” or the same as they were last year. I don’t know about you but my family is in an entirely different place and a lot of things have happened that will make our Christmas different (not worse) than last year. I have a son that has his own apartment now, and our home is different, but that’s OK! The key here is to not compare or create expectations about how you think something should look. Circumstances change, your family is not the same as anyone else’s, and creating a vision in your head about how something should be is only going to cause you to feel disappointment because things NEVER go exactly as we would like them to – in fact, sometimes different than you imagined can be better!
- Stick to a budget. This is one we implemented this year, mainly because after looking back we had created too much entitlement, and wanted to refocus our family’s thoughts onto what is really important – and that is people not stuff! Christmas has become far too commercial, and it’s almost a competition with yourself to outdo what you did the previous year. We realized that it wasn’t necessary to get carried away when we saw some gifts that our kids had been given that were still unopened in the basement and their lives were still going just as smoothly without those things! Giving gifts can be a way to show love and appreciation, but it’s not the only way we can show it.
Spending time together is also an amazing way to show and be shown love and appreciation.
- Learn to say no. This is a big one for me, I always like to do as many things as I can with friends and family. Sometimes it just isn’t feasible because schedules conflict and the whole point is to not overwhelm yourself but to enjoy people’s company and time. It can also be said for doing things for people as well…I had a phone call from my son yesterday wanting me to help him make some food items so he could sell them to raise money for his upcoming Humanitarian trip. Of course I agreed, and ended up making these last night right before bed, which left me feeling a little flustered and tired. I made sure he was helping, but it was something I really didn’t have the energy to do last night. What I should have done instead was either give him instructions on how to make them, or tell him to wait until I had more energy. I felt sucked in to the situation and wanted to help him, so didn’t feel like I could say no. I am sure you have all experienced similar situations, and the hard part is to know when and how to say no. In order for us to serve anyone, we have to be able to serve ourselves, and that is by knowing not to overwhelm ourselves with too many things to do!
- Plan ahead. We are definitely nearing the home stretch of this holiday season so this one is actually going to become harder. The stores are going to become busier and we are going to have less and less time to plan things. However, if you can set aside a certain time and day to do things, you will not feel like you are scrambling to find last minute gifts or make last minute treats. I don’t do so well if I am not organized, so this is one of the most important ones for me. I like to have gifts bought and wrapped, neighbor gifts delivered, and food purchased so that I can make sure I am not wasting my time worrying about things I have not done yet. Write lists, put things on your calendar and stick as closely as you can to them to minimize any overwhelm.
- Take some time. No matter who you are, everyone needs a little time to recuperate, time is of the essence, so taking a few minutes to relax and decompress is very important. Some of my favorite ways to relax are: taking a bath, reading, taking the dog for a walk, and getting a pedicure or massage. Just one of these small things could be the difference between waking up on Christmas morning frazzled or raring to go. I always tell my boys (including Brandon) that their hugs give me energy, so I make them hug me for 20 seconds…as they do this, my muscles relax, my shoulders are no longer hunched and my frown fades. I can physically feel that transfer of energy to me, and sometimes that is all it takes.
The Mayo Clinic has put out research about stress and the holidays and it is their recommendation that we take care of ourselves, because if we don’t, then we are no use to anyone else.
Take that time for YOU…
What if you just went into the holidays with no expectations and had an open mind…what could that do?
I don’t know about you, but this year, I am focused on my family, our love and feeling gratitude for all that I have!