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Managing Expectations

“Your present circumstances don’t determine where you can go; they merely determine where you start!”

One of the biggest challenges I have in my life are managing my expectations. I quite often find myself imagining how a scenario will go, how something is going to turn out and even worse, expecting people to react in a certain way. It wasn’t until the past few years that I even recognized that I was doing this and noticed what effect it was having on my life or the happiness I was unable to experience because of it.

I have always been someone that has demanded REALLY high standards from myself, and also from others that I work with, interact with and live with. As you can imagine, having expectations about how one of your kids or your spouse is going to react is pretty much insanity…because we have absolutely no control over that and we more often than not end up disappointed.

Even this past weekend I had so much fun traveling and shopping and one of my favorite things to do is to buy gifts for people. What I found is that my excitement for the gifts wasn’t exactly felt by those I had bought the gifts for. After speaking with Brandon about how it made me feel sad that someone wasn’t excited about what I bought them, he helped me understand that it wasn’t about the gift at all but rather what I “expected” they would react like when I gave the gift to them. I know I’m not crazy and I know I am not the only one that has done or does this…in fact, my guess is it is pretty common (whether you may be conscious of it or not).

Expectations can be our worst enemy. They can take a positive thing (like giving a gift) and turn it into frustration, disappointment and sadness…

Unfortunately there is not a “quick fix” because I have had these habits for longer than I would care to admit, but what I do know is that now that I recognize what I am doing, it is easier to spot it, and even if I initially feel the disappointment, or frustration, I can tell myself that I am slipping into old patterns and nip the expectations in the bud.

Just as most things in life, a want to and most definitely a huge effort is what is needed to change any direction in your life, and more often than not, that effort is at times going to seem overwhelming.

 

Expectations can manifest themselves in so many ways, it can be expectations of ourselves, of others and also of situations. I have to admit that when I first started my blog I had HUGE expectations about how long it would take me to learn all I need to know, what kinds of reactions I would have to my content, how many followers I would get, etc. I can tell you that I soon realized that it was going to look nothing like my initial expectation and that’s when I started to become frustrated, impatient and even discouraged. What I realized is that the main reason I started my blog was to help people (particularly women) recognize their worth, gain confidence through feeling good about how they look, and have the courage to take on their lives…so how could I put a timeframe on that? Great things take time and I am willing to take that time to help as many people as possible!  I made a decision to trade the expectations of how I thought my blog should look for an appreciation of what it has taught me, how much I’ve grown and just the fact that I am able to help people 🙂

With that being said, if you can think of anything topic I could cover that would help you personally, shoot me an email…I would love to know!!

One final thought…”No one can make you feel inferior without your consent!”

Dress your Age

“Life is your mirror…what you see as your outside, always comes from your inside!”

 

Have you ever heard the expression “mutton dressed as lamb”?  When I was growing up I remember seeing “older” women and thinking that they looked either really old, frumpy or on the other end of the spectrum…dressed too young and looking trashy.  As I am now in that “older” category (even though I definitely don’t feel old, and I still think I look pretty good), I am very conscious about not falling into any of those categories.

 

 

Disclosure:  Some of the links in this post are affiliate links, meaning, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through or make a purchase.

 

I don’t lack confidence and I am definitely not afraid to try new styles, and even have been known to really push the envelope, but there are still some things I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing!  I take good care of my skin, my body, my hair and my health, so I am slim enough to be able to wear most things, even with all that being said, there are some styles that I think you should NEVER wear once you reach a certain age.

 

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think you should demote yourself to just wearing a “mumu” or “frumpy clothes”, but I definitely make sure I am not trying to act or look like a teenager.

 

I believe in class, sophistication, but I also believe in showing off a little of what you have – without going too far.  I am pretty proud of how I look, so I am going dress with that in mind, and you can be assured that when people meet me they will know that I am confident and love myself.  After all, if we don’t love OURSELVES who else is going to love us?

 

confidently wearing leather 🙂

 

If you truly felt amazing about yourself, what would you love to wear and how would you like to look?  I always wanted to have longer, less muscular legs so I could wear skinny jeans with flats and not feel conscious…but guess what, no matter what I do, I can’t control how long my legs are, so I just adapt and wear the things that are most flattering for my body type.  Which is why, more often than not, you will see me wearing a heel (even if sometimes they are smaller than others).

 

I have found that the most important thing about how I look is for me to feel good about it.  Have you ever noticed that when you look in the mirror and you feel like you look great that you go out and that’s the energy you take with you…whereas when you look in the morning and you think you’re having a bad hair day, or you look more tired than usual, that more negative energy is what you will take along.  I have had lots of experiences where the results or my experiences during the day are determined by something as simple as how I view myself in the mirror… Crazy to believe that other people are going to feed off our emotions and energy and whatever we are emitting, that is what they will feel about you!!

 

If you want people to think good thoughts or feel good energy about you, it has to come from you!

 

 


How to be Fashionable

Confidence is in knowing that your fashion story is YOURS alone!

Fashion makes a statement about us…

“Be a Flamingo in a flock of pigeons!”

My Fashion Story

I always thought that being fashionable meant that you had to follow all the latest trends, and just basically blend in with what everyone else is doing…

What I have realized is that I can decide what is fashionable.  No matter the season, I don’t like every new trend that comes out (especially since as I am getting older I see more and more of the old trends that I used to see coming out again and again!)  It’s crazy that the styles I hated, the ones that I would never be caught dead wearing, and the ones that seemed to be the least flattering still seem to circle back around.  I remember looking at a picture of myself after having Dalton (my oldest), he was only 6 weeks old and we were in Disney World, I was wearing high waisted short-shorts, and a striped tank top that REALLY didn’t flatter me in any way!  So crazy to think that just because a style is IN that you should have to wear it.  As I have matured, I can tell you that I decide what is fashion for me, and I interpret it my own unique way.

I love seeing a new style and trying to figure out ways that I can adapt it to be my own.  I like to be classy/chic and everything in between.  The one thing that is always consistent is that I like to be feminine and always, always I avoid things that make me look trashy.  I don’t dress up every day, but when I have an important meeting or I know that a first impression is important, I definitely dress accordingly.  Even when I dress down I make sure that I am no sloppy.  If I am wearing sweats they are not creased and I wear with them a t shirt that is flattering.  Jeans are something I love to wear but I don’t wear them for work if they have holes or are distressed.  If I do wear jeans for work, I make sure that the blouse or top I wear is feminine and classy and more than likely the first thing that people notice.  I make my outfits memorable – but in a good way 🙂

Shoes are my staple – I don’t believe you can ever have too many, and they can really make a statement about you, so choose them wisely.  Sometimes heels can get damaged and start to look worn out, so take care of your shoes…if you take care of them, they will take care of you!

I read fashion magazines, I check out blogs, I look online at some of my favorite stores, I like to go on shopping expeditions whenever I travel somewhere to see what is available in other places, and most importantly, when I see things, I think about how they will work for my body type, coloring, age, and if they would be appropriate for me to wear for business, casual or more formal events.  Sometimes I try new things and get it wrong, and sometimes it works out, but the key is I TRY…Having the confidence to try something new and see if it works for you is half the battle, with the final piece being that if you get it wrong, don’t worry about what other people might say and think.  I have found that not everyone is going to like my style and what I wear all the time, and you know what, I am so great with that…I wear what I wear and do what I do for me only!  Because I feel that way, I have an air of confidence and it shows – and that is what people are drawn to!

What is your Fashion Story?

We all have our own fashion story, even if that story is that fashion or style is not your focus, or you don’t want to or can’t afford to go shopping all the time!  Whatever your story, I would love to hear all about it.  You can either comment or email me directly by clicking the CONTACT link on the left toolbar if you don’t want to share with everyone.  I am always looking for ways to improve my style game, and would love to help you with yours too…

I look forward to hearing your fashion story to see if I can help you be fashionable with the clothes you have and up your style game!

What makes you Unique

“Worry about loving yourself instead of worrying about the idea of other people loving you!”

If you’ve read any of my previous posts or seen me on Facebook or Instagram, you know that I talk about being unique all the time.  So I wanted to elaborate a little on what I meant.  Even since I was a little girl, being different, unique, standing out, not following the crowd and not being afraid to be myself has been something I have constantly strived for.

I realize that we all come to this earth with different talents, we look different, we have different priorities and consider some things more important than others.  I have very strong opinions, which I don’t apologize for, but I am also a very open and nonjudgemental person!  I recently did a little survey with some of my closest friends and family, I asked them to give me some adjectives that they thought best described me, to tell me what was their favorite trait of mine, what they thought I could improve on, and how they would describe my style.  I have to admit I was little nervous to get the feedback but I absolutely loved EVERYTHING that was said (even the things I could improve on, which I honestly already knew 🙂 )

So…here are a just a few highlights of what was said:

Adjectives used to describe me:  Tenacious, happy, optimistic, spicy, vivacious, direct, strong, ambitious, smart, confident, vulnerable, decisive, professional, urban, sexy, adaptable, reliable, complex, transparent and interesting!

The things I need to work on are:  patience, bluntness, and to believe in myself.

This is just a snippet of what was said, and I have to say that it made me want to be better but at the same time made me realize that I picked the friends I have for a reason 🙂

So, with all that being said, what is it that makes you unique.  We are all so different, what makes you, YOU?  The best relationships I have in my life, the greatest friendships and the ones that span the Ocean and all time, are the ones where I am spending time with someone that is not afraid to be themselves and it 100% secure in who they are.  I have met many people that don’t have as much confidence in themselves that they should.  I do love strong people, but those people come in all shapes and sizes.  I am strong in some ways and I have friends that aspire to be like because they are strong in other ways.  I think this life is all about us lifting up those around us and making them better.  If we are not worrying about what others think of us, and just being US, then we are able to be a true friend, wife, husband or partner!

I feel so happy and blessed to have the life I have chosen, because I know I have chosen the path I am on.  Even small decisions we make lead us onto a path and can totally change the course of our lives…

So, I ask you, what makes you unique?  If you were to ask those around you what they love the most about you, how they would describe you and what they think you could improve on, would you be surprised?  I talk a lot about style and presentation of yourself, but before you even get to that, you need to exude a certain power and that power comes from within you, seeing yourself as the unique, amazing person that you are.

I wanted to start off this Monday with a positive thought…as I think positive thoughts, I become more positive.  I hope it does the same for you too!

HAPPY MONDAY…

I will post tomorrow where you can shop this post..:)

Layering can be Fun!

 

 

“Being different isn’t a bad thing.  It means you’re brave enough to be yourself!”

As the seasons change it is a perfect time to experiment with layering your clothes.  I always find it fun add cardigans, sweaters, waistcoats/vests and I especially love cooler evenings and mornings because I get to add an extra dimension to the outfits I wear.

Today’s post shows me wearing a great Lularoe Vest that is obviously designed more for style than it is to keep you warm.  The outfit was simple and Black but as you can see, the addition of the waistcoat/vest really made it pop.  There is never a bad time to wear Black, but it is sometimes really nice to mix things up a little add and little depth and dimension to what you are wearing by adding something like this!

If you don’t already own some Lularoe pieces of your own, you really need to contact my friend Jamey by clicking here and grab some of their unique, comfortable pieces.  The great thing about Lularoe is that they have such a wide variety of styles that anyone can find something that will work for them.  You definitely can’t go wrong with a vest because they can be styled in so many different ways…so use it the way that works for you!

This shoot was so much fun – sometimes I wonder if I am doing something wrong because I love what I am doing…

If you can think of something that would help you please let me know and I will craft a post just for you!!

 

Finding Something Unique

“I just like to wear things that are ME in different ways!”

With all the styles that are available out there it’s really easy to find pieces that are unique and that fit your style.  The skirt in this post is definitely something that fits my style and its definitely different.

If you are looking for something that stands out and is not what everyone else is wearing then there are certain stores and websites that make that task easier for you!

I like to travel and when I do I typically buy clothes I know aren’t available in a Utah, and I also like to shop on some unique websites, such as:  www.stylewe.com, www.chicwish.com, and www.nastygal.com.

Finding unique clothes doesn’t have to be difficult, you just need to be willing to try new things and shop in new places.  How will you ever truly know what your unique style is if you don’t try out some different things?

Go and check out some of the sites I listed…

Happy Sunday!

 

Let’s Shop

 

“No decision should be made on an empty shopping bag!”

I am always thinking about styles, fashion and shopping – OK, maybe not always, but a lot.  The reason I do is because I like to explore new websites, new styles, find things that fit my style personality and things I think will be unique for me.  With that being said, it can be hard sometimes to find a good deal AND stay unique.

If I find a store I love (whether it’s a brick and mortar or an online store) that is having a sale, I immediately jump on board and shop around…because there are always deals to be had, and if it is an online store, I like to buy quickly so I don’t miss out on the right sizes of things that I like.

I recently downloaded the Zara app for my phone and found some amazing sale items, and since Zara is not in Utah, I know that I am not going to see everyone else wearing the same things.

Since it is the weekend, and since we all generally have a little more time at the weekend, I found some great sales, and thought I would pass those along to you….

Check out one of the links below for some amazing offers!  I know I am going to checking out these same things – who knows, maybe we’ll end up with the same things 🙂

Have a fun weekend and happy shopping!

White with Black Leather

“Beauty comes the moment you decide to be yourself!”

Today’s post is a throwback to a shoot I did in the Fall because I wanted to talk about wearing White pants in Winter, and how it works so well with Black Leather.

Obviously on a snow day you wouldn’t want to try and venture out wearing mules or open backed shoes, wearing White is definitely something that looks fabulous even in Winter.  It is something that has become more and more popular over the years, and while I don’t see a lot of business wear in White, there are always White or Winter White styles in casual wear that look fabulous.

I always find it fun to add something a little different to my look, and the combination of this Leather top with the White pants is classy but also unique.  It is an outfit that can be worn for business or for going out…it fits my unique style, so could you adapt it to your style?

Perhaps your body type suits pants that are a little less form fitting, or you prefer to wear a silk blouse with a Leather jacket, or you don’t really like Leather at all…whatever your unique style preference you can create it using some great White pants!

I prefer to wear contrasting colors, but   White pants can look amazing with a Warmer colored White Blouse, Beige or even another earth tone such as Tan.

Nervous to wear White pants? Yes, you have to pay attention to what you eat at lunch, yes you probably want to make sure you are not going to be walking in the rain and getting splashes up your legs, but, if you have an amazingly beautiful Winter day where you know you can risk wearing them, I feel like the payoff is huge. They are unique, and not everybody is brave enough to try…which is why I love to do it sometimes just to keep my style fresh!

If you really feel like they are not for you, then don’t do it…you have to feel it otherwise you won’t be happy and confident all day!

 

 

All Leather

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“We must keep both our femininity and our strength!”

What do you think when you think of leather?  Very often the first words that come to mind are “bad”, “trouble”, “edgy” or even “naughty”…but hardly ever do you think of leather as being feminine.  Well Ladies, here’s what I want to tell you…Femininity is something that comes from within, so if you are a feminine woman and wearing leather you will look feminine no matter what.  Or conversely, if you have very masculine or “bad girl” tendencies, even if you wear a lace blouse, chances are that you are NOT going to look feminine no matter what.

So what does this mean to you?  I have talked in the past about how you can use your gifts to make you successful, and femininity is THE greatest gift a woman can have!  Other women respect it, men love it and if that wasn’t enough, you will feel amazing.

I have always loved that how I present myself can open doors for me…so when I discovered the fact that my feminine power is proportionate to the amount of success I have in my life, I made a decision that I had to nurture it.  Your style and how you present yourself for different occasions is very important to the outcome you are looking to achieve.  The most important thing to remember is that you need to consider your audience and present yourself accordingly.  You can still be yourself (which is very important) but you don’t want to wear jeans with holes in for a business meeting  (a very extreme example)…but most importantly, have fun expressing yourself and find your unique style.