This may not be as big a deal to some of you as it is to me…
For 20 years I have worked for companies that only allowed us to wear jeans as sales people on Fridays (and after a while, not at all!). Since I left last October I’m not going to lie I have actually had fun experimenting with my jeans, and guess what I found out – looking good AND professional and that “put together” doesn’t need to exclude jeans.
I realize that I’m not talking about anything ground breaking here, but it has actually been really freeing for me to be able to dress exactly how I want, because I am mature enough to figure out how to dress appropriately for what I am doing and who I am going to be seeing.
Dressing for your audience is a huge deal – knowing what kind of a person they are, and making the right impression is important. I have always found that it’s better to err on the side of being over-dressed rather than being under-dressed! But jeans aren’t necessarily under-dressed, unless of course the person you will be meeting with is an ultra conservative person that never dresses down 😉
Skinny jeans can be really dressed up with a gorgeous sweater during these winter months and wide legged, high waisted jeans are one of my current favorites. They almost feel like you’re not wearing jeans at all. I added a fur jacket, high boots, big hoop earrings and voila…sass in jeans 😉 .
I have found that when I am happy in what I am wearing, it affects my mood for the whole day. I have learned to notice things that make me feel good, and I steer myself toward those things (whether it is who you hang out with, what you wear, the makeup you put on, you hair etc. they are all equally important if they make you feel good).
I have a challenge for you all…what if you came up with one style or piece of clothing that makes you feel good, and find ways to adapt it to make it UNIQUELY YOUR STYLE!
See how it makes you feel…
See if it affects your mood and ultimately your reaction to the day’s events…
See if it changes the results you get on that day…
I have found that the more conscious I am of myself, my surroundings, my feelings and my behavior the easier it is for me to not react or let things really get me down. When we’re not completely conscious that’s when we are in reaction mode, and I can tell you that’s not where I want to be because it causes me to react hastily and very often with anger.
Are you willing to take on this challenge?
I would love to hear your results…
You can shop my look & some similar styles by clicking the links below
When we pick out the clothes we are going to wear finding a color we like is not enough. Knowing that certain colors suit you more than others is something to keep in your back pocket when shopping and putting together an outfit.
There are a lot of things that play into whether a color suits you or not…such as: skin tone, hair color, eye color, attitude (yes, I said attitude – if you are sassy and confident you are much more likely to feel comfortable in a bold, bright red than if you are shy and withdrawn), and even our mood. Of course we are always drawn to colors we love, and I am definitely no exception. When I find a style in a color that I love, I always hold it up against my face before I even try it on to see what it makes me feel like. On a good day I am pretty certain that I love it and that it will look good on me, but on a bad day (a day when I am not sure of my emotions, how I am feeling or if something else is affecting me), that’s when I seek an outside opinion.
There are definitely times of the year that some colors are more available than others…for example this mustard colored sweater. Mustard is a color that is very often associated with fall or autumn, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be worn at other times. In fact, I kind of love wearing colors that you don’t see a lot of people wearing at certain times of the year. Because the color of my sweater is not as prevalent during winter months, that’s when I am choosing to wear it – you know the whole “standing out” thing 😉
Going back to colors being more readily available at certain times of the year, you can guarantee that each season fashions are going to be put out in certain colors that they have picked for some reason. But here’s the important thing to remember…just because a color is “in style” doesn’t mean you have to wear it. If your skin tone works really well with a cool red but the season’s color is an orange red, that doesn’t mean that you suddenly have to start wearing it. I believe that the season’s styles, colors and textures are just a guideline – they are only there to enhance what we already know we want to wear.
For those of you out there that only love to wear black or grey, go on and express yourself. The only caveat I would offer is that sometimes dark colors like black and grey can make you look pale and withdrawn. If you feel most comfortable in those colors because that’s your style, I get it. For those of you that do it because you are afraid to express yourself or you aren’t sure what other colors might suit you – then I would recommend stepping out of your comfort zone and trying a new color each week. Who knows, you might actually find that you love color!
Remember, our confidence grows when we are not afraid to step outside our comfort zone and try something new!
Shop some of my top color picks by clicking the links below…
I have always loved the superhero movies – maybe because I grew up in a home with only brothers and now I only have sons. Nevertheless, when a new movie comes out I am the first to want to be there, and I absolutely love them!
With all of that being said, I do believe that the world actually has REAL superheroes. I don’t believe in them in the same way that Superman can fly or Aquaman (oh boy! Aquaman…) can actually survive underwater, but more in the sense that we all have our own super powers should we choose to use them.
Our family went to watch “Glass” earlier this week, and for those of you that have seen that or seen “Unbreakable” or “Split” you may get where I am going with this. I don’t want to be the one to ruin this movie for you just in case you haven’t seen it, but just know that in the movie things you would not expect to be superpowers or strengths actually are what make the characters super-human. I really enjoyed the movie and would definitely recommend it. Unbreakable was the prequel to this movie and released in 2000. In that movie Bruce Willis’s character was the sole survivor of a train wreck and it was at that point after he had experienced such trauma that he realized what his superpower was.
After I watched it I started contemplating how if in the movie (and yes, I do know that it was not based on fact), if it was possible to have strengths or superpowers, then why not in real life? I have always believed that our talents or strengths are actually our superpowers. We are not all good at the same things, and that is what makes us stronger and more unique.
The quote I posted at the top of this blog is one that really resonated with me, because if we consider our weaknesses and how they can stop us from reaching our full potential, how amazing would it be if we converted those weaknesses into our strengths?
So, if we consider our weaknesses and how we can turn them into our strengths, what is the one that you really want to be your superpower? I would love to say that I am going to turn the fact that I am not the fastest runner into me being The Flash, but in the real world, that will never happen. So, I am going to focus on those things I know can make me stronger, more confident, resilient and happy!
For now – I consider my superpowers to be: I believe I can do anything if I put my mind to it, confidence, empathy, and inner strength. What are yours?
Perfection is something that is one of those unattainable goals that we somehow seem to be striving for, always in vain. We set expectations on ourselves and set ourselves up for failure when our goal or expectation is to become perfect.
It is easy to get caught up in wanting ourselves to be perfect, but it is also very dangerous because when we are wanting that perfection it very often doesn’t stop at ourselves and we come to want or even expect that from others around us as well!
In previous posts I’ve talked a little about how comparison of ourselves to others is fatal, and in this age of social media, it’s really hard to not allow ourselves to succumb to such self-sabotaging behavior. So how do we change our mindset so that striving for personal excellence is what we aim for? Here are some things that I use daily and they work for me:
I know when I let go of my need to control everything, my need for things to go EXACTLY according to a plan I might have in my mind, I am always pleasantly surprised by the results I get. My expectations have been known to get me into trouble, because I promise you the scenarios and outcomes I create in my mind are so much more elaborate than I could ever create in real life. It took me a while to realize that I didn’t want to hold myself back and I certainly didn’t want to be unhappy…but once I did, it created a huge amount of freedom and was light a weight being lifted off my shoulders.
I used to think that the pressure I put on myself – the pressure to create success and fulfillment – was what made me successful, but what I have realized after A LONG time is that it’s actually the opposite. I am always going to be driven, motivated, have a love of stepping out of my comfort zone, but it was actually the expectations and the need for perfection that held me back rather than making me better. It’s hard to come to the realization that I was sabotaging my own success, but once I did and I became conscious about my behavior…that’s when the magic started to happen!
Have you ever noticed how easy it is to take everything on, to not delegate, to not set boundaries or to not take care of yourself before taking care of others? As a mother that works full time, has 4 boys and many other commitments, I can tell you that every moment of my time is precious so taking extra things on often means neglecting something or doing something poorly.
Working with Brandon and his coaching program has only made it even more clear to me that if we don’t establish boundaries or take care of ourselves as well, then we are not going to be able to do all the things we need let alone the extra things we often take on.
It is more than about self-care, it is really about setting those limits and not compromising them. I have often been in a position when I have had something planned that is important to me, and something else comes up. I find myself in conflict over the thing I “should” do versus the thing I “want” to do. Obviously, there are certain times when something is urgent or an emergency and that’s not what I am talking here, I am talking about just taking on something when you are only doing it out of obligation or because you feel like someone else can’t handle it.
I used to have a hard time letting things go and letting other people help me, or delegating, but that’s definitely not the case anymore. What I realized (it’s easier to think this for work circumstances, but it definitely applies to life in general) is that my time is best spent doing those things that only I can do. – you know, those things that need you to be the one to handle. For example, I can’t delegate doing the sales that I do, but the paperwork, the backend stuff, those are things I can definitely hand off. At home, we have our kids do certain chores, as I am sure you do, which means that not every single thing about the running of the household is left to Brandon or I.
One of the hardest things to recognize is the fact that our wanting to do everything actually takes away from those we love, because we can’t be there for them 100%. It means we are spreading ourselves so thin that we are unable to be present a lot of the time, especially at those times that are the most important. I’ll admit that while my kids were younger I spent a lot of time doing things myself, not asking for help because I believed I had the perfect way of doing things and didn’t want others to do it another way or I didn’t want them to screw it up. What ended up happening is that I didn’t teach my kids some important lessons, and I ended up being really burned out a lot of the time.
They say that youth is wasted on the young, and I believe it, because with age definitely comes maturity and letting go of control – yes I can admit that I was a little controlling 😉 . I also learned that empowering others to do things actually gives them the chance to step up and learn themselves – which is one of the best gifts we can give someone!
I am still learning, but I definitely feel like the boundaries that I set are pretty healthy – and I am also open to growing and learning more.
Do you have healthy boundaries or do you try to take it all on? Do you feel like if you hand things off to others to do that they won’t do it as well as you?
If you answer yes to the second question, start small…try letting go of just one thing this week. If you feel like you have healthy boundaries, ask yourself this – are you exhausted a lot or do you feel resentment for anyone? If you answer yes to either of those questions, then maybe a little more soul searching is on order 😉
Remember – establishing boundaries is one of the most unselfish things you can do!
As I think back to my childhood I realize that there were so many times that people told me negative things which caused me to feel bad or insecure with myself. In fact, one of the things that I was told when I was growing up by “mean girls” was that I had a huge chin and that it made me look like a witch. I’ll admit that there were some times where I wasn’t sure what they were saying was true or not, and it definitely made me self conscious.
It took me a few years to realize that those that told me those things were probably saying it because they felt insecure or less than confident about themselves. I had a choice at that time to either let what they told me become what I believed and repeated to myself, or to not let it get to me. I was a teenager when it happened, and it was one of the must vulnerable times in my life. My choice was to embrace my features, enjoy who I was and not only carry on but to hold my head up and be proud! I looked at my family and realized that my “strong” chin – which is what I choose to call it – came from my Grandad and he was an AMAZING man! How could I possibly feel bad about it?
As I think back to that time in my life I realize that it was a turning point – it was the time that I made a decision to not let others determine how I feel about myself. It was at that time I promised myself that I would always stand up for myself and be bold! If I could see the people that said mean things about me, I would want to thank them – because if they had not said those things, I wouldn’t have become the strong, determined, powerful and fulfilled woman that I am.
There are definitely people in this life that are going to try and make you feel bad about yourself, who you are, what you look like and very often undermine what you are capable of. I can promise you that NO ONE can make you feel anything. It is your choice to believe what people say or think about you or not.
I have found at times in my life that some people I thought were my friends chose to root against me, to sabotage my success, and quite often be two-faced and almost a wolf in sheep’s clothing. As I become older and more mature I realize that I have no control over how people act or how they think, but I do have control over how it affects me. When someone points out a weakness of mine or roots against me, I choose to not focus on that but rather on being the best me that I can be!
What I have also found is that for all the negativity out there…there is still so much positivity. I choose to focus on that.
Whatever we focus on we end up with more of – so why not think the best about yourself, your talents, your blessings…see what happens!
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