The Fashion Industry brings out “new” colors and styles every season, and pretty much they are just a variation from something that has already been around. Some you might love and want to wear and others you won’t want to be seen dead wearing…so how do you decide what does and doesn’t work for YOU?
Just because a color or style is “in” doesn’t mean that it is something you have to wear, or something that will look good on you. Trust me, there are some styles that have been around before and I didn’t like them before, so chances are I’m not going to like them this time either.
I am pretty in tune with what works for me and what doesn’t, but there are still times when I go shopping and think that I would like to try something new. So, I grab a few things, take them into the changing room, and here’s the important part…once I have them on, I really give myself a close look in the mirror and evaluate myself based on what I know about myself. If something I’m wearing isn’t in tune with my style, my personality, my lifestyle or my environment, I don’t buy it. We all come from different walks of life, have different upbringings, different home and work environments, and also we all live in different climates.
Just to put things in perspective, here are a few things I currently avoid and why:
Of course the things I avoid may be some things you like, and you should definitely wear what is in YOUR style…
The key to style is being true to yourself! As you see magazines, blogs, TV, Instagram, Pinterest and many other social channels you will see lots of variations in styles, some of which you may love and others you may hate. As you look at the different styles, stay in tune with yourself and if you want to learn and expand your style…watch those that resonate with you. We are all works in progress, just as styles, seasons and colors change, so do our experiences. Very often our experiences mold the styles we have and who we are.
I make it my goal to learn something new every day, and if you can take one thing from this post, I would say that be open to new possibilities but don’t ever deviate from what feels good for you. The better you feel about your style and how you look, the more confidence and assurance in yourself you will have!
“Strength doesn’t come from what you can do. It comes from overcoming those things you once thought you couldn’t do!”
This weekend I wanted to talk a little about how overcoming challenges is really what makes us who we are. I am sure you have heard this many times before, but have you ever sat down and written down those things that you have gone through (you know, the ones where you weren’t sure if you were actually going to make it or not), with the sole purpose of looking at them in retrospect? I have found that many, many things don’t make sense to me when I am going through them, but as I look backwards things become clearer, I realize that I am actually stronger and that I have actually made it!
At this point in January there are going to be a lot of resolutions that have already been pushed aside because we’re too busy or life has just happened. It’s ok, if this is true of you, you’re definitely not alone, and you shouldn’t beat yourself up too much. But, if you really are looking to make 2018 YOUR year…here’s something you can do to help make that happen…
As I talked about earlier, writing down the amazing things you have survived, worked through and learned from is fabulous, but what if you took it one step further…
What if, instead of just acknowledging those things, what if you really thought about how they made you better. For example, has one of your experiences taught you patience, are you better equipped to handle “certain types of people”, or even are you more determined and stronger than you have ever been before. All of these skills are things that can be harnessed to help you be more successful and happy this year.
Whatever your experiences, looking for a silver lining of some way you grew or learned is the best way to grow.
And remember, breathe, you may be having a hard day, but it doesn’t mean that it’s a hard life!
We all have things that we want in this life, personal goals, professional goals and goals for our children or families. The question is, how badly do we want to achieve these goals? I have found that the more I want something, the more determined I am to get it, and the more effort I exert. Of course, a huge part of achieving our goals is tied to our ability to be positive about it.
Have you ever wanted something but all you have done is focus on being upset because other people are doing better, getting frustrated because you haven’t achieved it yet, or even self-sabotaging your efforts because it’s easier to explain away why you didn’t really try to achieve something than it is to put forth the real effort. In our own lives it can be hard to look introspectively and see where we might be going wrong, but it is absolutely necessary. I watch my kids, and I notice when they want to quit something what emotions it brings out in me. I have an easier time talking to them about how falling down or facing obstacles is not the same as failing, it is just a great opportunity for us to become stronger and better. It’s not as easy when I face those challenges myself…
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Over the past few years I have faced many challenges in my personal life and in my career, but the amazing thing about all those things is that it has taught me so much and made me a much more empathetic and stronger woman. Even though I am not where I want to be (and to be honest I’m not sure I ever will be exactly where I want), but I do feel like my thoughts are focused in a much more positive direction. I wouldn’t say I am to the point where I welcome a challenge by saying “bring it on” but I am definitely able to allow myself to be open to the fact that I can learn something, and I am excited about growth opportunities.
So, how do you remain positive when all around you is filled with challenges and chaos?
Here are some of the ways I have found work for me:
The mind is a powerful thing, why not use it to your advantage?
“We can rewire the patterns in our brain with the cognitive behavioral affirmations. It is not just the fluff, woo-woo stuff. Positive thoughts change the way our brain is wired. It really has biochemical, neuro-chemical affects on our brain.” – Louise Hay
I was raised in a home with only boys…meaning that there was a lot more physical fighting to resolve differences rather than negotiating. I am the oldest, but that didn’t mean I could avoid the fights, but rather I had to become smarter about how I did it. After about the age of 12 I couldn’t match up physically with my brothers, but I could outsmart them. I learned some tricks (OK, some of them were dirty) but nevertheless, I not only survived my youth but I actually thrived.
For me being raised in such an environment taught me mental and physical toughness. I am not a quitter, and I don’t like to appear vulnerable (it was considered a weakness). Even after telling you all these things, I can tell you that it didn’t take away my feminine side. In fact, it has taught me to embrace what God gave me, and make the most of it wherever possible.
So, let’s get down to it – what are my tips for feeling feminine and using that femininity to your advantage – because, I believe that we were all given gifts, so why not develop them and use them?
I no longer believe that being feminine is weak – I believe that it is a gift we have been given and we should nurture it. It was never hard for me to dress in a feminine way, but my actions and behaviors were sometimes contradictory…I am still a very assertive, confident woman, but I am working on presenting myself in softer ways!
Whether you are a clothes junkie, a shopaholic or not, I bet you could still find those 2 or 3 things in your closet that are your favorites…you know those things that you turn to when you are feeling like you want to really step it up!
Today I’m talking about just 2 of mine…satin and ruffles. Now this doesn’t mean that I don’t love, love, love leather, it just means that today, I’m talking about 2 other things.
You’ve probably seen me post these pants before, and that’s because they are probably my favorite pair of pants…here’s why:
If these things weren’t enough, the cost for these pants is very reasonable – they come in a variety of colors, but Black always has to be my favorite.
Next, the ruffle sweater…what I love about this is that it adds a layer of femininity to this more edgy look. Being feminine and not being afraid to show it is one thing that I have come to harness of the past few years. I have found that the less aggressive (OK, I know, I didn’t say I wasn’t aggressive, just that I liked to be feminine), the more vulnerable and sensitivity I show, the better results I get. You can get a lot more with sugar than vinegar, so I choose to work on that side of my persona and ruffles definitely help give that perception too…sometimes, a perception is enough to influence someone into thinking something about you – good or bad!
Because the outfit was head to toe Black, the pop of color I added was with a MAC lipstick (Cosmo)…
I shared my outfit on Instagram here – if you don’t already follow me…check it out!
Cheesy caption, but I can tell you this…one thing that came to me while I was contemplating what happened to me in 2017 and how I was going to improve that for 2018, was how I really can affect what happens to me primarily by how I react to it.
Have you ever noticed that when things are going well, EVERYTHING seems to work so much better, there’s kind of a flow and we seem to attract more and more great things into our lives. It seems almost logical that we would want to continue that kind of attraction…but because we are human, it is not always sustainable to be positive all the time.
Knowing that my behavior and attitude can very often determine my results, I made a choice for this year (at least most of it), that I will “sparkle” and be a positive force. My family tells me all the time that when I am down, angry or just sad, it seems to affect the whole mood in our home. That’s a lot of pressure, and not something I want put on me…but it’s also quite an amazing ability to know that I can help my family feel more happy, strong and positive!
In keeping with the theme of this post, the sparkly/glitter pants I am wearing are some I bought just before Christmas from H&M and they are really fun (and even better, they’re on sale). Sparkles are not just for the holidays or special occasions, just like sequins, I think they work whenever you really want them to! I added a white blouse with a gathered waist (similar one shown below), a long black cardigan and some sock booties. I have also recently fallen in love with some Stila liquid eyeshadow colors that I am wearing in this post. If you haven’t tried liquid eyeshadow, you definitely should give it a try (I’m definitely sold!)
A great, simple, sparkly outfit – just in time to set you up to have a sparkly 2018 too!
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