Winter Days

The best thing you can do is master the chaos in you. You are not thrown into the fire, you are the FIRE!

One thing I have written about quite a bit on my blog is how much I really don’t like the cold, but what I wanted to talk about today is how I have learned to embrace winter and what tricks I have used to do that.

Let me start by telling you a story about why cold hasn’t been my favorite thing. As you know, I grew up in England and my family lived there until 20 years ago when we moved here. Our home in England was middle class and pretty big for the UK. We were one of the first people I knew to get a dishwasher, and I had my own en-suite bathroom (pretty rare for England). We didn’t get snow like we do here in Utah in the winter, however, as you know, there was PLENTY of rain.

One of the things about damp climates is that the cold cuts right to the bone, and it is hard to plan for that cold because it is so damp. There was no central air in our home, in fact there were no homes that I knew of that did have central air…we all had radiators in each room to heat them. The thing about radiators is that it takes a while and it never quite feels like it’s really warm, again because they are filled with water and create damp heat. In my room I remember frost being on the INSIDE of the window pretty much every morning that I woke up and I had a heated blanket under my fitted sheet on my bed so that my bed wasn’t cold at bedtime.

My memories of damp and cold soggy days with little to no sunshine in England definitely catalyzed my disdain for cold…but I am learning to embrace it and even love it to some degree. So what’s my secret…?

  1. I search for something that I can love about each and every day that is cold. For example, on a sunny day with blue skies, I take time to appreciate and love the beauty of the mountains and the skies. If it is a grey day I appreciate the fact that I can light the fire and spend time cozy inside.
  2. I stay active. During winter months it is easy to become sedentary and not do too much, so I make sure that I am still actively working out and eating healthy because it makes me appreciate my health.
  3. I make sure that I am prepared. It is still important for me to look good even in the winter but there are so many ways to do it AND make sure that you are adequately prepared so that your hands, feet, head, ears and body are not cold. There are so many cute winter clothes now that there is never a reason to be cold or unprepared when venturing outside.
  4. Taking time to cook – when I get home from work I often don’t want to go out again, so I plan ahead and make sure I have all the ingredients I want to make a great family meal. I have found that my cooking is much more adventurous during colder months because I do it so much more often.
  5. I like to plan time to go somewhere a little warmer. Beaches are my favorite, but even a few hours south of us the weather becomes much nicer and it is a trip just about anyone can take.
  6. I choose to have fun and be silly. I have found that the more I focus o the negativity of how cold it is, the more cold it seems to feel. I choose to focus on the positivity and what I can appreciate about it.

Mondays can be hard, especially cold Mondays – but what if you thought of it as just another day instead of a cold Monday?

Choosing how to experience something is the key to mastering inner peace. I don’t know about you, but inner peace sounds pretty good right about now!

Be You – Be Different

“Being different isn’t a bad thing, it means you are brave enough to be yourself!”

There are so many things that make us different from everyone else, but we live in a world where it’s almost frowned upon to be different. The sad thing about that is that there are so many reasons that the world needs YOU just as you are, not someone trying to fit in or be like everyone else.

Being different, standing out, expressing yourself just as you are, that takes real courage…but most importantly it means YOU have to know who YOU are!

I don’t know if any of you remember that movie “Runaway Bride”? In that movie Julia Roberts was engaged at least 3 or 4 times and each time literally ran away from the wedding as the groom was standing on the altar. Nobody knew why she did it for a long time, in fact, she gained a reputation and it was newsworthy enough that a reporter went to her small town to write about it. Turns out that what she actually did was fit into a mold of exactly what she thought each of the grooms wanted her to be. Whatever eggs they liked, she liked too. In summary, she pretty much didn’t show up to any of the relationships as herself, and when the reality hit (on the wedding day) she couldn’t go through with it.

I have seen this so much in life, it’s so easy to fall into line with what we think everyone else wants us to be, so much so that we give up who we really are. The problem with that is that the real us is still inside just stuffed down somewhere out of sight, and it means that we can’t ever find complete fulfillment or happiness until we let her or him out!

I have always been a very strong person, but there have definitely been times in my life when I have been afraid to let people see who I really am – specifically in relationships for fear that they wouldn’t love me, or they would leave. I am not the type of person that can live like that, so at some point, usually when I couldn’t take it anymore, I would explode and pretty much blow the relationship anyway. Even with Brandon and I it took me a long time to realize that it was OK to be 100% myself.

I have learned that I don’t need permission to express myself, it doesn’t matter to me if everyone loves everything about me, because I have found that the more authentic and real I am, the more people love being around me anyway.

I love to express my feisty personality through my style, and I have found that the more I love me, the more I love who I am, the more happy I am. My style is uniquely me – and I will always keep it that way! In fact, the jacket that I’m wearing in this post is one that I had customized for me…I saw something similar on Pinterest and had my mum knit it and create my one exactly how I wanted it! What’s better than that?

Being unique is one thing that we all have in common, and it’s exactly what the world needs!

If you could do one thing today that you have been afraid to do, what would it be?

Pursue your Dreams

“Dreams and goals are important in our lives – we should not give up on our dreams your dreams is not as important as what you become by achieving your dreams!”

 

When you were little and someone asked you who or what you wanted to be what did you tell them?  I had a dream to be a Doctor and more specifically an OB Gyn, which changed to an Optometrist when I realized I could only handle births that had happy endings.  I studied pre-med for my Associates Degree and then my Bachelors was in Physiology with Microbiology.  Sounds like I was on track, right?  Well, what I found out along the way was that I actually didn’t like to be tied down to something, have a rigid structure or simply that I really didn’t like to be told what to do.  As you can imagine, that would never be the case with anything in the medical field, so I decided to look into sales instead.

My dad had been a very successful salesman for all of my life, and I had realized that he had enormous amounts of flexibility, make amazing money and had lots and lots of vacation.  Obviously all three of those things were selling points for me, so that’s how I ended up where I am today.

I don’t feel like I gave up on any of my dreams, or at least I didn’t until a couple of years ago, and that is the time when I started working more with Brandon and started by blog.  I knew I wanted to give back, I knew I wanted to help people, and I knew I loved fashion.  For a long time I had no idea how those things could possibly tie together, but I am starting to figure that out now.

Dreams and goals are so important in our lives.  In order to achieve the big goals we have to be willing to set smaller ones and work towards achieving them.  At some point in our lives we have all achieved SOMETHING and the feeling that we get when we achieve something, well that’s what keeps us on track for bigger and better things.  It doesn’t mean that fear doesn’t creep in or that we sometimes have to change our direction or tactics, but what it does mean is that a dream or goal is just that – something that we get to turn into reality by constant effort, drive, determination and resilience.

 

A fun Fall look – you can shop my look and similar by clicking any of the links below
Shop the Bag by clicking this link

 

 

Have you ever been told by someone that you wouldn’t be able to do something?  I know I have.  When I was in High School in England I had a teacher that didn’t like me and had no confidence in me.  In fact she actually told me that I should set my sights lower than being a Doctor.  I have to admit it was probably because I wasn’t the best student, but shhh! don’t tell my kids that.  Regardless, that kind of negativity is bound to have an impact on even the most confident person.  I am pretty tough, but I can tell you, for a while I actually started to believe that I wasn’t smart, that I wasn’t going to be able to do what I wanted to do and even worse, that I wasn’t good enough.  Not believing in yourself is probably one of the worst things you can do to yourself.  It is what depression is made of, it can create anxiety and even thoughts of suicide.

Having a dream is something that can create sunshine on even the darkest day, but only if you realize that in order to get what you’re dreaming of, you actually have to put in some effort.  I know there has been a lot of information out there about “manifesting” your dreams, and don’t get me wrong, we absolutely attract to ourselves the things we focus on, but it still requires work, dedication and commitment – and when you combine those things with focusing on the dream, that’s when it becomes more attainable.  I’m not saying that good things won’t ever happen to you without work, because I have had great things happen to me…but it is also not the norm.  I used to have a boss that always told me “the harder you work, the luckier you are” and I believe that 100% because that is what I saw in my business.

No matter what you believe, remember that having a dream and pursuing that dream is not something you should ever give up!

Happy Wednesday – dream on!!

 

 

 

The Power of Music

 

“And for that one moment while the music plays.  You know who you are and everything you wish to be!”

 

Do you have a ritual or something you do that gets you ready for a hard task you need to complete, or to just make you feel better?  Music can have such a positive influence in our lives if we find the right music to get us pumped up.

There are so many options out there for good music, and there are so many bad ones as well.  I am more drawn to a beat than I am the words, but definitely the words (especially if they aren’t good words) do have an impact on us.  I love to listen to a wide variety of music, and I tend to focus on certain types to achieve different results.  When I am wanting to feel like I want to dance or just feel good, I listen to rap, hip hop, R&B, a little pop and disco.  I like NWA (I know, not typical), I love Mary J Blige, P!nk can really get me pumped up, love a little Rihanna, Drake, Travis Scott, and so many others.  If I want to feel inspired I listen to songs like “This is Me” from the Greatest Showman, “Unstoppable” by Sia, and a few others that help me to remember why I am here and how great I should feel about myself.

Music has been used to centuries for inspiration, and many other reasons, so there must be something to this theory.  I have had times in my working career where I could become distracted by negativity, and I would use music through headphones to block out the “noise” and help me to focus on the things that were important.  As I have been working with Brandon and going to his Live events, we use music to create a certain mood.  We use it to help people get out of their comfort zones, and I have seen it work amazing wonders. In fact, the more I see it, the more I want to use it in my life.

He goes through a ritual every morning and listens to music to wake him up, to get him ready to take on the day and the make sure his mind is in the place it needs to be so that he can be there for the people that NEED him.  I love that music can do that, I love that just by listening to the beat, the words and by letting that music take you places, you can honestly change your state and put yourself in a better mood, create the energy you need to accomplish anything if you really want to put your mind to it.

 

Click here to shop a similar leather jacket

Even when I am at home and I have to clean the house, the task doesn’t seem so bad when I have music on and it can take me away from what I am doing.  Driving long distances in the car becomes a lot more tolerable when you can listen to some great music.

As I started to think about Brandon’s LIVE events, his morning ritual and the feelings that I have when I listen to some music that speaks to me, I started to think more and more about it.  What I realized is that music and it’s artists really do have a power, and it’s there for us to use if we choose to!  We can harness the power of music and use it to our advantage.  You may already be doing it without even being aware, but my guess is that if you set yourself up with a great routine or ritual of listening to inspirational and motivational music before you do something that is important to you, the results will actually end up being better.

I have a few playlists loaded in my iPhone, different ones for different reasons, so that when I am working out, driving to work or a meeting, or even just having a hard emotional time, I can call on that playlist to help me change my state.

As I sit writing this post I have some background music, not something that distracts me from what I am writing, but rather music that makes me FEEL so that I can be real and write something that hopefully resonates with you.  You’ll have to let me know…;)

Now Monday is here, and let’s be honest Monday’s don’t have the best reputation, why not start incorporating more “good” music into your life.  Should you choose to accept this challenge – I would love to hear how it worked for you.

Have a great week!

 

Sweater Weather

 

“Don’t miss out on something that could be great just because it could also be difficult!”

Wherever you live, there is probably going to be more of a chance to wear sweaters or layers in the Fall, so how do you find the ones that are the most flattering and fun for you to wear?  Since in Utah we haven’t had the time to really get into this trend yet (it’s definitely coming just not here yet), so here are some throwbacks to some of my favorites…

I have always loved Fall more than Winter, mainly because Winter is just a little too cold for me, and in Fall I get the chance to layer and get really creative with my outfits while at the same time not freezing to death 😉

I am a very visual person, so colors and patterns really appeal to me, but I am also tactile, which means that I really care about how something feels.  There’s nothing worse than finding a cool sweater and it itching you all day because it’s not soft.  My youngest is definitely like this – we have bought him clothes over the years and if he doesn’t like how it feels, he will NEVER wear it, and I don’t blame him.  Honestly the only time I ever sacrifice comfort for style is with my shoes – LOL!

So, to answer my first question, here are some great ideas for wearing layers and sweaters for the Fall and Winter months:

Wear a large oversized sweater with some skinny pants.  Wearing oversized pieces means they can tend to make you look larger than you are, but when you wear slimming or skinny pants or a skirt you can offset that appearance.

 

 

Wear a fitted turtle neck with a cute casual skirt and pumps or boots.  As the weather gets colder adding a pair of funky tights is a great way to add that extra pop to the outfit as well.

 

 

Wear a fitted sweater with an accent belt, and then add another layer of a long cardigan for a unique take on sweater weather attire.  The ruffle skirt and boots are the perfect compliment too!

 

 

Wear a chunky cardigan with some booties.  Because I paired this cardigan with the fitted skirt, just like the oversized sweater, it prevents the perception of being larger than you are!~

 

 

Embracing each season can be as easy as finding a style that makes you feel at home in that season.  The key is not to let the weather (the thing you can’t control) decide how you feel about what you wear and how you feel.  It can be all too tempting to wear comfy, warm, cozy things in the Fall and Winter, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still look amazing.  Sweats can be cute – especially the leopard print or camo ones I have seen recently.  Enjoy experimenting with styles that could work for you, and don’t be afraid to try something a little funkier than usual.  Add a scarf here or there, wear a hat, layer like crazy and have fun!

Have a great day 🙂

 

 

Make No Excuses – Just Goals

 

“Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment!”

 

Do you have goals?  Even if you think you don’t, I am sure there are some things that you want to achieve.  It could be as simple as decorating your home, raising your kids to be respectful, or even just about eating healthy.  What one thing do all these goals have in common?  They require WORK to get there!

Have you ever found yourself imaging your future, the home you’ll live in, the career you’ll have, standing at your kids’ weddings next to the bride or groom with pride all over your face?  To imagine is completely normal, but the only way you will actually get there is by doing at least some work.

In order to stand next to your kids on their wedding day requires you having a good relationship with them (WORK), to have the career you want (EFFORT), to move homes (WORK, TO BE ABLE TO AFFORD IT).  The thing that I have noticed in my 20 year career in sales is that unfortunately a lot of people want the reward without the effort.  The problem with that is that our imaginations can create AMAZING realities, but when we are in our actual reality it looks bleak in comparison.

It is only my second day in my new career, and I can tell you that it has its challenges, the grass is not always going to be greener, but the one thing that I have going for me is that no matter what I am not afraid to put in the effort.  Working hard is not the most important thing, working smart needs to be part of it as well.  I have found myself having to think a lot more about structuring my day to include tasks I want to accomplish, the things I need to do, along with things that I know will distract me if I don’t schedule time for them.

We have so many distractions in our life that if we don’t schedule time for those distractions we will become swept away, and when the option of doing a harder task versus something that is more fun, we will always welcome the fun one if we haven’t planned ahead.  For example, as I sit writing this blog I have probably had 20 emails, 3 texts, not to mention the phone call from one of my boys.  Obviously some distractions can’t be avoided (I try to never miss a call from my kids, even though most of the time it’s about drama or something I wish I didn’t have to deal with), but the big question is…do we welcome those distractions.  I will definitely admit that when I am doing mundane tasks I tend to become more easily distracted and tend to stay that way for longer.

So, now we know what we have to deal with on a daily basis..how do we  handle it effectively?  I have found that I allocate myself a certain amount of time on a task, and once that time is up I switch to another task.  If I haven’t completed the first task I can always go back to it.  This helps me with my focus,  my boredom and most importantly I allow myself a little break (even if it’s just a bathroom break) so I don’t become burned out!

 

 

I don’t always do work outdoors like I am in this post, but there are definitely times when a little fresh air can be exactly what the doctor ordered – maybe you can give it a try (although it’s been pretty cold here in Utah, so I won’t be able to do it soon!)

Today is Wednesday – what have you accomplished this week already and what do you still want to achieve?  Comment below…

Feel Good in your own Skin

“The best gift you can ever give yourself is the permission to feel safe in your own skin.  To feel worthy, and like you are enough!”

Feeling good in your own skin is so much more than being confident in how you look…it is more about who you are as a person and how you feel about that person.

We all came into this world the same way, but our experiences and our relationships in our lives shape us into who we are today. Sometimes those experiences can  cause us to feel insecure, lacking in confidence, or even make us feel like we are not good enough.  It can be hard to move through things that trigger us, or make us feel like this, but there are definitely steps we can take to help soften us and allow us to feel more worthy, more comfortable in our own skin and ultimately more confident.

I have found that the more I give myself grace for not being perfect, and the more I don’t compare myself or what I do to others, the better I feel about myself.  I can tell you that this getting older thing is not for the faint of heart.  I didn’t realize how much it affected me until I saw some pictures of me when I was younger, and noticed that I have laughter lines, I have wrinkles I had chosen not to notice before and that perhaps my muscles aren’t as toned as they once were.

 

 

So, as we go through life, how do we feel good about ourselves even as these things happen?

Here are a few things that help me – maybe they’ll help you too:

  1. Take care of yourself – for me this can be as simple as taking a bath at night, reading a good book or just having a small amount of time to be left with my thoughts.  I like to be unpredictable, so for me going on a bike ride in a different direction, walking the dog a different route or even driving home a different way allow me to feel free and let the stresses of the day go a little.  We don’t all have the same things that relax us or make us feel good, so whatever it is for you, that’s what you need to do.  It seems like the world is advertising to us all the time about what we should do, eat, wear, and like…but ultimately whatever it is that makes YOU feel good, well that’s what you need to do!
  2. Focus on the good – it’s easy to be critical about your flaws or what is wrong with you…so what if every time you saw something that you didn’t like about you, in turn you found something to appreciate about that thing.  For example, I always had a really flat stomach and that’s not the case anymore…but here’s the best part – I have 4 boys that I am immensely grateful for,  and I wouldn’t trade a little bit of a stomach for any of those kids.  Another could be the wrinkles around my eyes – but I appreciate that I have had plenty to laugh about in this life.
  3. Embrace your Uniqueness – we are all created to be different,  so why would we want to change who we are in order to fit in?  I am very lucky that my parents always encouraged me to embrace my unique, quirky and feisty personality, because I wouldn’t be who I am today if I hadn’t.  Society teaches about fitting in all the time, and social media only accentuates that need…but what if we considered that the world just wouldn’t be as it should without US and what unique traits we have to offer.
  4. Don’t be afraid to be alone – before I met Brandon I was a single mom for about 5 years, and during that time I really wanted to meet someone to settle down.  What I realized is that I wasn’t ready to meet him until I was 100% OK with being alone.  I love the time I spend by myself, not that I don’t love the company of my family or my friends, but I also need that time to make me the best I can be for all of them.  Taking time to be alone to read, to contemplate, meditate, or exercise are great ways for us to enjoy alone time.
  5. Do things that make you happy – as you have probably noticed by now, one of my biggest loves is travel.  I love to travel with Brandon, with my kids, my friends and even alone.  The thrill of exploring new places, enjoying sunshine, waterfalls, the ocean, the forest, and many, many other things is really the reason I work.  Even going out of town for business is a huge thrill for me because I usually get at least a little time to relax.  I love to shop (I know, shocker), I love to go to movies and dinner with my family, I love river rafting, hiking, biking and sunbathing.  By doing any of these things we are able to fill our cups to make us better for ourself and those around us.

 

Oh and if by wearing some funky boots, or a fabulous leather skirt makes you feel as good as it makes me feel…I’ve linked my boots and the rest of my outfit (or similar pieces) below…


Seasons Change – Adapt your Style

“If you look good you feel good, and if you feel good, you do good!”

 

Labor Day is just the beginning for me starting to incorporate more Fall patterns, colors and styles into my daily style.  One of the hardest and the best things about changing seasons is the fact that not everything works in every season, but there are definitely some exceptions to that rule!

I posted on my story today that I am not a rule follower and I have seen a few other people talk about the old rule that you shouldn’t wear white after Labor Day…well, those days are gone.  There are so many new styles for Fall, Winter and beyond that incorporate white, winter white and other variations that look amazing.

When you are not saying goodbye to something that you really love, it opens up a whole other realm of possibilities for you to create your own unique styles.  By incorporating the new season’s colors, styles and textures, you will be able to really grow your style comfort zone like I talked about the other day.

I honestly believe that the whole point of style is that you should never limit yourself, put yourself in a box, but be open to creating your own way of doing things.  If you love something,  it accentuates your best features and is flattering to you,  find a way to wear it no matter what.

 

 

Here are some tips for incorporating summer styles into fall outfits:

  1. Burgundy or wine colors look fabulous with white, so try a great pair of white distressed jeans or skinny jeans with a wine colored blouse, T shirt or sweater and add a pair of leopard shoes or booties.
  2. Pull out one of your summer blouses (a boho style would work really well), pair with a pair of jeans or skinny pants and add a long cardigan in a seasonal color such as rust, mustard yellow or a metallic.
  3. Leopard is good for any season, but it especially works well in the fall with the warmer tones.  Pair a leopard blouse or T shirt with a pair of red or black pants.
  4. White shoes are not just for summer – add a great pair of white pumps with pretty much any outfit to add a pop of your own style.
  5. Snake print is also hot right now, so why not wear a jumpsuit in any color with a pair of snakeprint shoes and a belt?
  6. Add a pair of funky tights with a summer shift dress and add a denim or leather jacket.
  7. Pair a summer blouse with a leather skirt and a pair of funky shoes.

These are some simple styles for you to try for yourself, or even adapt to your own way of doing things.  I have found that the more I consciously think through what I am going to wear, the more likely I am to be happy with how I look.  I dress for me, but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that it feels good when I get compliments for my outfits.  Because, no matter who you are…the better you feel about yourself, the more confidence you will have.

Have a fabulous weekend…

 

 

 

Expand your Style Comfort Zone

“A comfort zone is a beautiful place but nothing ever grows there!”

Have you ever heard that your confidence grows in direct proportion to how much change or discomfort you are willing to face.

This is true of everything in life…for example.  When Brandon bought my mountain bike for me (it’s an electric bike that when you pedal has a little or a big kick of power depending on what you turn it to), I had NEVER mountain biked before.  I had always wanted to try it but was too scared to do it, so the first day I rode myself to the foothills of the mountains near my house where I knew there were some good, wide trails.  I rode up the hills great but became very nervous going downhill with the fear that I would fall over the handlebars, the rocks would make me fall off, and oh there was that one time where there was a snake across the trail!  He bought me the bike back in May for Mother’s Day and ever since then there has not been a week where I haven’t gone on at least 4 or 5 eight mile rides since then.

I am by no means a pro, but I am going faster and doing things that scared me to death now!  At the very least, I am confident enough in my ability to control the bike, to know what I can and can’t do, and most importantly, I am eager to try new trails and go new places.

You may be asking what this has to do with anything…well, here’s what I think.  Because this concept works with everything, it also translates to fashion and style.   Expanding your style repertoire can take baby steps, or a bold leap, depending on the level of change you are willing to face at any one time.

There are some styles that I would never wear…mainly because just because something comes in my size doesn’t mean it is appropriate OR cute for me to wear.  I do however, love to incorporate new things into my style, and when I do I have found that I have loved most of them.  Expanding your style comfort zone is something we can all do, but in our own way…so what is your way?

Each season there are new colors, new styles, patterns and fabrics – expanding your style could be simply just wearing a new color or fabric.  In today’s post the suit I am wearing is from a shopping trip to L.A., and the blouse is Zara.  I loved the luxurious color of the blouse along with the tweed of the suit because you are going to see a lot of tweed this fall and it is always a classic look.  If you were into the Gingham trend that has been around, tweed is a great alternative to switch things up.

The reason it is called a comfort zone is because it’s comfortable – which means it is easier NOT to change what you’re doing, but it is always not as fulfilling.  I have found that it is always a challenge to me to come up with new looks, new styles that work just for me, and put my own stamp onto styles of the season.

Here are some easy ways to expand your style comfort zone for the upcoming season:

  1. Add a scarf of a different color or fabric to mix things up
  2. Find your “go to” style and find it in velvet, satin or even leather
  3. Find a pair of funky, statement shoes or boots to make any outfit pop
  4. Wear a pair of funky, patterned or colored tights
  5. Wear a bold, bright pair of earrings (perhaps one with tassels) in a contrasting color
  6. Add glitter or sequins – they’ll definitely get you noticed
  7. Metallics are a great way to add spice, you can wear either shoes, scarf, bag, top or if you’re really bold, a pair of pants or a skirt
  8. Wear a color that is bright, bold and really noticeable
  9. Wear a pop of red or pink on your lips
  10. Fur – there’s never a bad time to add some fur

I hope you find some food for thought, and if you do, I would love to hear…

 

See Yourself Through the Eyes

 

“Sometimes you can’t see yourself clearly until you see yourself through the eyes of others!”

This thought provoking quote was how I wanted to start today’s blog post.  I thought it was so poignant because how others view us really can have a lot to do with how we view ourselves.

I 100% believe that how I am feeling about myself, how I am acting and more importantly how I am treating myself can all lead to how others treat us.  There have been times in my life where I have been in a dark, negative place and consequently I tended to show a lot more anger, frustration and impatience, and surprise, surprise, guess what I got in return.

So, the most obvious question is why would we treat ourself in any other way than how we would like others to treat us?  Why would we want to let other people know that it is OK to treat us that way, and more importantly, why would we do that to ourselves.  The answer is simple, more often than not, when we are in a cycle like this, we are completely unaware that we are doing it.  Have you ever wondered why sometimes you act a certain way and have no idea why you do it?  I definitely have, and when I am conscious enough to start to think about it, the only thing that comes to mind is that old habits and bad advice from past experiences are rearing their ugly heads.

The more conscious we are about what we are feeling and how we are acting the more likely we are going to be able to build a happy life.

 

 

It is also important to be conscious about how we treat other people, because I have seen it time and time again, the more patient you are with someone the more you are going to get the same treatment in return (unless of course we’re talking about kids which is a whole other topic!) . I have noticed that I can definitely make assumptions about someone based on their appearance, but guess what, my assumption is very often not correct, and more importantly, the more I do that with others, the more likely that people are going to do the same to me.  However we act based on what we feel, that is exactly the kind of thing we are going to attract to ourselves.  Feel and act negatively – that’s exactly what you’re going to get.  Feel happy – you are going to attract happiness and happy people into your life.

I used to think that a lot of the self help programs were very “woo woo” and that how is it possible to “attract” something to me by acting a certain way?  Well, I am a scientist, I love to know the facts, I love to think things through from start to finish and what my thought process has taught me is that our bodies are basically a big ball of energy, so why would it not be possible to attract certain energies based on the energy we give off?  I have volunteered in my kid’s school for their “Hands on Science” and I love it, I love re-learning the fundamentals about how energy works.  How our cells are made up and how all of these theories may be actually fact.  Seeing the kid’s eyes light up when you show them how the energy works is fascinating and I love to see their excitement.  I wish we as adults got excited about things even half as much as kids do!

It is important when you look at yourself through the eyes of others to be open minded.  It will allow us to improve upon ourselves and shift people’s opinion if they are not viewing us in a favorable way, and it will also allow us to recognize that we are worthy to have people love and respect us if that is what they are seeing in us.  I honestly believe that our families and our closest friends really do know us and how they treat us, act when they are around us and whether they trust us or not are great gauges to find out how someone feels.

I am hoping that this topic will give you pause to think and allow you to start off your week in the most positive way possible 🙂

HAPPY MONDAY