Laughter – the Best Medicine

Always find a reason to laugh. It may not add years to your life but it will definitely add life to your years!

Something that has always been apparent in my life is the need for me to laugh. I like to think of myself as quick witted, because I love to say things a little off the cuff to make others laugh too. I’ll tell you why…I have always loved laughing and find greater connections with others when I feel that they have the same sense of humor as me or are equally as “strange” 😉

When I first came to the US from England and I was newly married I found myself sometimes getting offended or hurt by things Brandon or others might say. I was brought up so much more reserved, I was taught that sometimes saying something to someone wasn’t necessary. Not that I have ever had a problem giving people a piece of my mind…I just was taught that it was so much more important to be polite over “just being honest”.

My family was one that always laughed and made fun of each other, but somehow we just knew that it was a joke and a little cheeky. It’s weird that even though I had been brought up that way and my family and I had done that, when Brandon particularly said things it made me feel a little self conscious and sensitive. The good thing about having a mindset coach for a husband is that he is ALWAYS willing to talk things through and somehow we just figure out a way to make it work.

Over the years I have learned that I need to not take myself so seriously, and I have actually learned to laugh at myself. Being a work in progress is nothing to be ashamed of, in fact, it’s absolutely vital. I do still get called the “fun sponge” but more often than not I try new things, I don’t mind if I screw up and make a fool of myself, but most importantly I work on not letting ideas be more important than people.

One thing I look forward to in 2019 is the opportunity to smile more, have more fun, create even more connections and love my life even more.

Laughter truly is something that makes every situation more enjoyable…in fact, when we create experiences that involve laughter and smiling they are always more memorable. Even if you don’t remember exactly what you were laughing about, remembering the feeling you had and the experience of connecting with those you love is felt throughout our bodies FOREVER. I can still remember the feeling I had when I was around my Grandad Ron…he always made us all laugh because he was quick witted and funny. His saying that still brings a smile to my face was “Happen she/he wasn’t thinking” – he would say that whenever someone would do something that was an accident or not intentional.

Because smiling and laughter is contagious in our house when someone gets started on a good laughing fit, there are always going to be others that join in at some point. My kids tease me that when I really laugh, not only do I cry but also my right eye closes and they say I look like a pirate. I’m totally OK with it, especially because at the very moment that I know my eye is closing, I am having the time of my life. Who knows, I may even capture a picture of me with the eye closed mid-laughter at some point soon.

If you don’t resolve to do anything else for 2019, decide to add a little more smiling and laughter into your life and see what happens. I bet you won’t be able to say you’re not having fun!

Michelle
XOXO


Shine a Little

“Nothing can dim the light that shines from within”

Christmas is the season for so many things: Family time, present buying, parties and friends. Even if you’re not spending your time going to parties or spending it with friends, there’s definitely nothing wrong with “shining” a little. I know, sounds a little strange, but we hear a lot about making a good impression or dressing for an occasion, and all of those are great, but unless you are letting your inner light shine, are you really making a good impression?

I have spent the past few years becoming more and more aware of how my actions and behavior most definitely changes the outcome that I get. I realized a few years ago when I was going through a kind of dark time in my life, that if I wanted light or positivity to show up in my life then I had to be the start of that light.

Sensitivity to energy is something we all have but some more than others. I noticed that when I surrounded myself with people that didn’t evoke a positive feeling in me, or even worse that made me feel dark or even down, I wasn’t able to be as resilient to certain situations or when adversity hit my life. I realized that I must also be doing that to others too when I was not putting off a positive or light energy.

This may sound a little woo-woo, but I can attest 100% that I had to change MY behavior before anything in my life would change. I had actually reached the point where I didn’t even like being around me because I knew I was more focused on negative than positive, and I was more likely to see the cup as half empty rather than half full.

I don’t know if you have ever experienced this yourself or not, but even if you haven’t I am sure you have been around someone and for some reason you just felt a weird around them or they felt a little “off” and you couldn’t figure out why. Before someone even speaks our body is picking up on their energy and if that energy isn’t good, we may not understand exactly what is happening but chances are we feel uncomfortable or don’t want to be around them.

I made a choice to change my energy, to focus more on positivity and on bringing more light to others. After making a choice to do this and working on it every day, I have noticed that the more light I give off, the more light I actually get in return. If you haven’t heard the expression “you get what you give” I can tell you that for this example, it is exactly true. Just like the more love we give the more we get, it is true about light too.

So, as I plan spending family time tomorrow, amidst all the chaos of the Christmas season, I am focused on being the light in my home, in being the one that when someone feels like they need strength or positivity, that they can turn to me.

I don’t know if you experience this in your home or not, but I can tell you if I am having a bad day or I feel sad, EVERYONE in my house knows it. They know because the light or energy they are used to seeing from me isn’t present during my “down” times. I used to think that it was too much responsibility for me or that I didn’t want all of that to rest of my shoulders, but I have definitely changed my mindset so that now I think of it is as a privilege rather than a weight on my shoulders.

I wish you all a Merry Christmas…I hope your inner light finds its way to the surface and you have wonderful time filled with love and light!

Shop my look by clicking the links below…

Don’t give in to Aging

Meriance Anti-aging skincare kit with Collagen

Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art!

Do you ever wish that you could go back to your 20 year old self and tell them something that you have learned?  I am constantly finding things that I wish my 20 year old self knew, so that I wouldn’t be scrambling to fix things I would have taken care of already.

For example, I am sure you know about muscle memory, and how when you do something often enough and well enough, your body just remembers what to do and goes back to doing it.  It’s kind of like riding a bike – something our minds and muscles don’t forget. 

One thing I have been thinking about recently is how I am determined to grow old at MY pace.  I don’t want to be that little old Grandma sitting in a rocking chair with my grey hair in a bun.  Not that there is anything wrong with being that Grandma I just don’t think it would suit me.  

My actual Grandma didn’t pass away until she was almost 97 and right up until the end she was fabulous.  I once asked her what her secret was and she told me that taking care of herself, especially her skin had always been vital for her.  She went clothes shopping right up until the end, she cared about how she looked, not because she was vain, but because it was important for her to feel good.  I realized that I am the exact same way.  I dress up and take care of myself because of ME and how it makes ME feel!

Beauty is how YOU feel about YOU – it becomes visible on the outside by how you feel on the inside – shop here

I am always searching for new products and ideas to help me age gracefully.  I recently had the pleasure to try out some new collagen anti-aging skin products…and even after only using them for a week I can feel a difference.  As you know one of the things that aging does to your skin is to diminish its elasticity and plumpness.  Immediately when I started using this Meriance line, I could feel the skin on my face tightening and it just felt a lot softer.  I don’t know about you, but I am pretty much willing to try any product at least once to find out if it works for my skin, especially if it means that I can delay or redirect my aging process.  It kind of drives me crazy that my husband, Brandon, just seems to get better looking with age, and I feel like I notice a new wrinkle every single day.

While I don’t want prevent aging completely, I certainly do want to delay it as long as possible.  If you haven’t heard of Meriance, it is a Canadian company, I would recommend checking them out.  You can click this link to do some research or try some products for yourself.  

I am using the Full Anti-aging skincare kit, and right now they are offering $100 off the total cost of the kit if you use the code STYLEQUEENIE100 at the checkout.  I never recommend something unless I feel like it works, I like it for myself and I believe it is a good value, and this kit, well it answers all three of those questions.  Just click here to shop this kit or one of the others they have to offer

Keep it Simple

The greatest prison people live in is the fear of what other people think!

I think one of the biggest challenges we face when trying to figure out what our style is or how to dress is the fact that there are so many options and styles available.  There is a huge problem in society where we tend to overthink things, or even talk ourselves out of things because we are worried what others might think, or we are just not confident enough to trust our instincts.

Confidence in today’s world is word that is thrown around all the time, but what does it really mean?  Around the age of 9 we start focusing more on what other people think and tend to shape ourselves more after the reactions we get from people rather than by what actually makes us feel good.  The good news, just as we chose to mold our thought process after what others think, we can change that same thought process and make it more into what we want it to be.

The only way to do that is just to jump in and start dressing for YOU without any thought (or at least not giving in to the fear that you might not be accepted) and just go for it.  Starting small, keeping it simple is the best way to start.  Because there are so many style options out there, the best way to create your own unique style and do it for YOU is to start by finding colors that you love.  Once you have your favorite color (one that looks good against your skin tone), then you start looking for styles that flatter your body type (of course, only ones that you like and not what you think others will like).

The pictures in today’s post are a couple of years old because I wanted to demonstrate that simple can also be timeless.  A simple pair of faux leather leggings, a peplum top (flattering when you are looking to accentuate a smaller waist or give the appearance of a small waist) and a leather jacket.  Simple – classy and comfortable.  When you dress using simple pieces like these, a great way to add a little funk is by adding some fun accessories and shoes.  A pair of fun drop earrings, a chunky pearl bracelet and some bold pumps.

The key is to not let the fear, over thinking or lack of confidence dictate what you wear or how you feel.  I know that may sound easier said than done, but honestly the only way to grow your confidence is to expand your comfort zone and try new things.  Loving to dress for YOU is the start of having an amazing relationship with yourself.  If we don’t love and treat ourselves the way we deserve to be treated, other’s won’t know that’s how they should be treating us.  

Confidence is like love, the more you have the more you get…the hardest part is just latching on to that little bit that is already inside you.  I believe that everyone in this world has at least one thing they can own and be proud of.  That one thing that makes you know how amazing you are.  It could be something like being a good cook, having creativity and using that to make your house into a home, being exceptionally patient with your kids to name just a few.  There is always something, and that feeling you get when you feel satisfaction after accomplishment or showing love, that is the feeling you will want to latch onto.  Use that to help you gain confidence in any other area of your life…trust me, I have used this so many times in my life and it works.

I hope you have a blessed weekend, and if you feel like sharing something that you did to help you gain more confidence, I would love to hear!

Michelle
XOXOX


Create Your Own Day

 

“Ask yourself – what’s really important and then have the courage and wisdom to build your life around the answer!”

 

I recently came across this concept and I absolutely fell in love with it…

It’s the concept of creating your own day.  What I mean is, other than your birthday, what day do you use to celebrate YOU?  I have found that my birthday, as enjoyable as it is, is never really just about me – not in a bad way, but it involves celebrations, dinners, and very often I have to work.  So when I came across this concept I immediately latched onto it.

Here’s the thought…Make a day your own.  Create a celebration of you and spend time doing whatever it is that sets your soul on fire.  If it’s being alone, then do that, if you prefer to be with friends or family, do that.  Ultimately the goal is to take a day to reflect on where you are in your life, what you’ve accomplished, how you feel about yourself, what you are grateful for and so on.  My theory (I haven’t actually tried it yet) is that I will feel rejuvenated, I will find it easier to handle stresses, challenges, disappointments and it will reaffirm why I love my life.  I know, no matter what, there are always things that aren’t the best that are happening in our lives, but when you start to look at how things are happening FOR you and not TO you, it can change your perspective.

I haven’t decided the date I am going to celebrate my day, but I’ll give you some ideas of what I love to do so that maybe you can come up with some of your own or use some of mine:

  1. I will workout in the morning, that way I know no matter what happens during the day, I feel good about me knowing I am taking care of my body.
  2. I will get a massage, a pedicure or a facial.  Just a few things that are focused on self-care and love.
  3. I will have a lunch at one of my favorite lunch spots with a friend that I know will lift me up.
  4. I will do a little shopping – it actually relaxes me.
  5. I will find the best bakery in town and get myself the most decadent dessert (I have to because there’s no birthday cake 😉 ) And I won’t feel guilty because I worked out already.
  6. I will go for a drive up the canyon and take in all the beauty.  I love to drive different ways, see different things and feel appreciation.  If the weather is warm enough I will trade the drive for a bike ride.  I love taking my mountain bike into the foothills and getting dusty while I am enjoying the view.
  7. I will go to dinner with my lovely husband, because he’s the one that can make me feel the most amazing of all.

 

 

 

It may seem silly, but if there is something I can do to help in the self care department or something that will help me remember that I am important and that ME taking care of ME doesn’t have to mean neglecting anyone else.  in fact, it is necessary to take care of me, so that I CAN take care of others.

What do you think about this concept?  Are you on board?

My birthday is February and I hate that I can’t do a lot of the things I love because the weather is usually cold, so I will probably plan MICHELLE DAY for a day in the spring or summer…stay tuned!  I’ll post some pics 🙂

you can shop some coats similar to the one I’m wearing by clicking the links below…

 

 

Living in a Masculine World

“In a world where masculinity is respected and femininity is regularly dismissed.  It takes an enormous amount of strength and confidence for any person to embrace their feminine self!”

You’ve probably heard me talk about how I have 4 boys…but I’m not sure if I mentioned that when we bought my dog my ONLY request (because I really didn’t want a dog) was that it would be a female.  I am sure you can guess where this is going – my dog’s name is Rooney (after Wayne Rooney who used to play for Manchester United my favorite football/soccer team) and he is a male dog.

I live in a house where there is more testosterone than most people would know how to handle, but let me explain why I am equipped.  I grew up the oldest of 3 kids, and you’ve guessed it, I have 2 younger brothers – no sisters.  I have never known the likes of the drama that can come from living in a home with girls, nor have I ever had the pleasure to have a sister to share my deepest thoughts and secrets with.  I know this is why I take my friendships so seriously – they are an escape for me from my current environment and I consider them the sisters I chose.

Even though I live surrounded by all this masculinity, I have never lost my love for my feminine side, in fact, I think I am able to embrace it even more because of what I see around me.  I love sports, I love cars, I am not a pushover (and those of you that know me, know this is quite an understatement), I am handy and love to do home projects and fix things, but I also love to shop, cook and make the most of how I look.  I don’t think I am an anomaly, I just think I am not afraid to be who I want to be without worrying about what I think I SHOULD be.

 

 

Unfortunately we still live in a time where, as a woman, we have to prove ourselves over and over, where we are not always given opportunities to rise to the top in careers, and sometimes we are even blatantly discriminated against.  Guess what, however someone else treats us doesn’t have to determine how successful we are.  Rising to top in anything requires tenacity, persistence, patience as well as confidence, and these things only come when we are not bitter, resentful or frustrated.  Believe me, in my career I tried pretty much every angle to achieve my goals and quite honestly the only thing that did work for me was just being ME and not giving up no matter what.  I found that when I embraced my femininity and inner confidence that I felt when I did that, I was able to attract more positivity to my life which also brought more success, fulfillment and happiness.

I found that when I became too aggressive (which I know I have a tendency to do) I intimidated people, which actually gave me negative results.  At the time I didn’t realize that my aggression and frustration was causing people to want to move away from me, which included clients, my husband, my kids, my friends, and so on.  It’s a weird thing when you feel that people don’t want to be around you, especially when you sit down and think about why that might be and take accountability for your actions in the whole equation.

Life is filled with things we can’t change, and the only way we can work through those things is if we accept that we have no control over them.  Letting go is the most freeing feeling, but it requires practice.  It doesn’t mean that you are always going to like it, but it means you are able to move on despite how you feel.

I love the fact that I get to be the only girl in my house – sometimes the smells, the disorganization, the untidiness, the laziness, and the constant meal making can be a little much, but quite honestly, I wouldn’t change it for anything.  I feel blessed that I can come home and one or more of the “boys” in my house will give me a 20 second hug which is exactly what I need to ease away the stress from my workday.

Staying feminine when all around you is masculine is an art, its a habit, and it is a path to success in business.  In any relationship (whether personal or professional) there needs to be a masculine and feminine energy, and most men like to take the masculine lead.  If they take that lead the best way for you to have success and create a connection in that relationship is by being the feminine you.  I feel very fortunate as a woman to be able to be strong and confident and I don’t have to give up my femininity to do it.

 


The Act of Giving

“You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm!”

 

Yesterday was a snow day in Salt Lake, it snowed pretty much the entire day, which made Christmas tree shopping last night chilly, but also beautiful.  The boys raced around the lot, hiding, throwing snowballs and having fun.  It was exactly what I needed to fill my cup!

As we have been spending time with our boys this week we have been asking for them to tell us what they each want for Christmas. With only one boy that still believes in Santa we are almost to the point where we don’t need to hide anything anymore, which is kind of sad as well as relief. It seems like I have been doing this for a long time – well, I guess I have because Dalton is 24! It’s so funny that they don’t seem to have a hard time telling us what THEY want, but when it comes to giving gifts themselves it’s a little harder.

It’s a hard thing to teach kids to know that giving is so much more important than receiving gifts – in fact I believe that the only way they truly learn is by watching what we do. I remember there was one Christmas when I was really naughty and I went searching for what my parents had bought me. I was old enough to know better…but still I found the closet that my mum had hidden the gifts. I saw what they had bought and I felt so guilty that it pretty much ruined my Christmas. Since then, I have always loved more giving than receiving. Not to the point where I don’t love getting gifts, I just absolutely LOVE finding unique, meaningful and personal gifts for people and watching their faces when they open the gift.

Christmas can be such a hard time to spend time on things like this, because it becomes a mad frenzy of finding the “right” thing – I swear that toy companies and some other stores only produce a limited amount of things to feed this frenzy and make the season so overwhelming. If you have every been that parent that couldn’t find that ONE THING on your child’s Christmas list because the stores were all sold out, then you know the level of disappointment that comes with it. I remember one year one of the boys wanted a remote controlled car which we bought but what we didn’t realize was that it needed a special battery that it didn’t come with. We were out at Walgreens at 11pm on Christmas eve trying to find one, but of course we couldn’t/. Even though we had bought the gift, the fact that he wasn’t going to be able to play with it until we went to Toys R Us the day after Christmas was enough to cause mass disappointment 🙁

One thing I have really been guilty of is neglecting myself and running around like a crazy person, so when Christmas morning comes and the kids are so excited to get up and open gifts, I am totally exhausted and partly checked out. Seems kind of crazy to do this to myself, especially when Christmas morning is the reward for all the hard work…but it has definitely been done by this girl!

This year I have resolved to get this more organized, but most importantly to take care of myself while I am taking care of others. Any of you guilty of this? You know when the flight attendants tell you to put on YOUR oxygen mask BEFORE helping anyone else…well that applies. In fact, Brandon was talking to a pilot who told him that if you don’t put on the mask first, there is a really good chance that you will pass out and unless someone puts a mask on you, then you’ll probably die. Crazy – I know this is a metaphor, but this goes way beyond self care. It can be so detrimental to our wellbeing to not take care of ourselves because we are too busy taking care of others.

 

 

Over recent years I have become much better at this, and I am able to set boundaries for certain things so that I am not neglecting myself. I started small, just picking one thing that was a “non-negotiable” thing that I was going to do. What I mean by that is, I found one thing that was so important to me, that no matter what, I was going to make sure that I did it. The one thing that I do almost every day is take a relaxing soak in my bath. It probably only takes around 20 minutes, but after those 20 minutes, I feel different. I feel important, I feel loved (by myself) and I am able to tackle so much more. Meditation could be your thing, it could be having lunch with a friend…whatever it is, I promise if you find something and start small, you will enjoy the holidays so much more!

 

You can shop my look (and more) by clicking the links below

 

 


Release your Inner Power

 

“I’m street, so look both ways before you cross me!”

 

I had to post today’s quote because it reminds me that I have that whole other level inside me that kicks in when I really want to accomplish something.

Do you know what I mean when I say that? Do you have that smolder inside you that lies dormant until someone tells you that you can’t do something or tries to stop you from achieving your goals.  I didn’t realize how strong mine was until I really sat and thought about what I wanted to be when I grow up.  I know, seems kind of crazy, but you could call it mid-life crisis or just a heightened awareness, but I definitely reached the point in my life where I didn’t feel fulfilled or happy with what I was doing.

I am sure some of you can relate to this in some way.  Is there an area of your life where you are not feeling fulfilled?  It could be your job, it could be your home life, it could be school…there are many ways to feel unfulfilled.  So what do you do when you find yourself in this place?  The simple answer is to change it…but that’s not always feasible.

I found myself in this place a few years ago, so I knew that I had to make a change.  I had to decide if I would be happy if I was in the same place in a year or even 10 years.  Obviously my answer was no, so that’s when I knew that I had to think about what I did want to be doing.  It took me some time to ponder this question, months even, but when I came to the realization that it was important to me to help people, I knew what I had to do.

That’s when I called on that inner gangster & determination that I knew was inside me because I had used it many times before.  The easy part is knowing what you want to do, the hard part comes when you have to slog away day after day, being consistent, undeterred and motivated (even when you don’t feel like it).  This is when the grit comes in. That part inside you that doesn’t doubt you can put in the work necessary to get it done.

 

 

One of Brandon’s favorite shows is Shark Tank, and recently I have been watching it with him.  I have found it so interesting to see these people that literally started with nothing, come up with an idea and grow that idea sufficiently that they are qualified to make it onto a show on TV.  I love seeing their belief in what they are doing, I love seeing them overcome fear day after day – because that’s what I know I must do.  It helps me know that I’m not alone, and that the only way anything happens in this world is if we believe enough in it and in ourselves to make it happen.

So what if, inside you, there is this inner bad girl with grit just waiting to help you accomplish your dreams?  What if I told you that it is there – you just need to find a way to harness it.  It’s no that it’s easier for some than others, it’s just that some will do whatever it takes to make it happen – they believe that much in themselves.

I may be that girl that eats organic foods, believes in the environment, believes that people and their feelings are more important than ideas, but I still love to listen to rap music.  I still love to be walking the line of conformity, because I know that when I am open, loving and real, that’s when I am able to feel love and fulfillment in my life.

Sometimes I feel the need to show the outside world that I am not just a pretty face, but I have an attitude and I’m not afraid to use it…that’s why I chose today’s more casual, get stuff done, inner bad girl look 😉

Shop my look by clicking the links below…

 


Boost your Confidence – Wear Fur

 

“She always stood out from the crowd so she decided to embrace it and just be exactly who she was!”

 

I don’t own a “real” fur, but I have to admit I have quite a few fur coats, jackets and then some with fur accents like the Leather one in this post.  I love it because no matter what I am wearing, when I add fur it just elevates the whole look and makes me look and feel classy (not to mention the fact that it also keeps me warm).

Wearing fur can be a little intimidating for a lot of people, because it’s definitely one of those things that really makes you stand out.  In today’s post I am showing just a few of the fur coats and a jacket with fur detail so you can see the many ways to wear it.  I do realize that not everyone is going to want to wear things exactly like I like, so as well as posting links to shop the coats I am wearing, I have also included some links that are not quite so bold (see the bottom of the page).

 

 

Over this Thanksgiving weekend I was speaking with Dalton, my oldest son, and asking what he wanted for Christmas.  He said that he pretty much just wanted cologne, shoes and clothes.  Right after he had finished telling me, he paused and said “I don’t want all STYLEQUEENIE clothes though!”  When I asked him what he meant he said that he’s OK with some things that are flashy but he didn’t want me to buy everything according to what I like, which apparently he thinks is too “flashy”.  I had a choice, to get offended or just take it for what it is and realize that not everyone is going to like the same things as me, and just move on.  I chose to move on and take it as a compliment – I like being flashy, I like to stand out – there’s nothing wrong with that, I’m just being ME.  It’s also OK that he doesn’t want to do that…it’s OK that he is who he is supposed to be as well.

I have always encouraged my kids to be themselves and express themselves how they want to in their style – but this also means that I sometimes have to take them out wherever we are going looking a little less put together than I would like.  The good news is that now they are all a little older, there are very few times that they are not presentable, and they feel validated.  They feel like they are free to be themselves! This was a lesson I was taught by my dad.  I have always enjoyed dressing differently than others, and as I was growing up, my dad always told me “if you look good, feel good and it makes you happy, then you shouldn’t worry about how others view you.”  I 100% agree with that statement and it has definitely guided me many times in my life – especially the part about not worrying what others think.  I have found that when I like the way I look and I don’t judge myself, then that also is how others see me and there is no way that their view can negatively impact me.

So does fur make you flashy?  Well, it can, it just depends on how you wear it, and how much confidence you have in yourself.  There is one thing for sure though, it is definitely going to get cold and fur can keep you warm.

Why not add a little fur into your life – and increase your wow factor?

Shop my looks and more by clicking the links below (the best part, it’s Cyber Monday so there are some steals!)…

 

 


Share Your Color with Others

women empowerment personal style style consulting

“Try to be a rainbow in someone’s cloud.”

I came across this quote and fell in love with it…how often are we given the chance to be that person for someone else that can be an inspiration, an example, a role model or just a friend?  I have always loved the idea of being there for others, in fact when I was younger my Grandparents gave me a book that was a “birthday” book, that had a different quote for each day of the year.  Then meaning was that the quote on your day said something about you…

Mine said “If you need me, call…I will always answer.”  I don’t know if it was at that point that I started taking my relationships seriously or I had already innately known that before, but it was something that certainly rang true for me.  I have always felt that we owe it to others, and ourselves, to give everything to our relationships.  If you ask anyone that knows me they’ll tell you that I am a fiercely loyal friend, and I will do anything for those that I love.

Life is definitely not meant to be spent alone, and the only way we will ever ensure that we have others in our lives is if we make sure that we are working on our relationships every day.  I can tell you that my biggest challenge so far in this life is raising kids (particularly teenagers), in fact I think it’s kind of like a white knuckle rollercoaster, where you know you’re going to survive but somehow your hair is going to be messed up, your head will be rattled around and you’re most definitely going to end up with a killer headache.  So those are probably the relationships that are going to require the most effort.

 

 

This Thanksgiving weekend our whole family, along with my parents, came up to our house in Midway (a small town about 45 minutes away from our home), to spend some quality time.  Thanksgiving day went pretty smoothly, which is great because being cooped in a house and not getting along is pretty painful.  Yesterday was a different story however, there was a fight surrounding playing the Xbox that belongs to one of the boys, that ended up in a real fight, lots of shouting and eventually Brandon having to work his coaching magic on the boys to get them to calm down.  Fortunately there was no bloodshed, and we managed to come together again long enough to make it to watch “Creed” as a family last night.

I have never been so emotionally exhausted as when my kids get into a fight with each other, or when I end up in a fight with one of them.  It’s way more draining than any physical exertion, and it feels a lot worse.  What this weekend has taught me a little is that we are not only responsible for our own energy but also the effect that energy has on others.  It’s a big responsibility to know that I can affect other’s feelings, but I can tell you, if I want my house to run smoothly, I have to make sure that I am balanced, not neglecting my own needs which makes me cranky, and I am definitely not pretending to be OK when I’m not.

I know I am not going to be OK all the time, so I have been known to put myself in “time out” to recharge, and make myself feel better.  Energy is such a powerful thing, there is no way to fake it, so when we are feeling negative or frustrated even if we think other people are not aware, chances are that our energy is giving us away regardless of what our words say.

Being conscious of our feelings is the first thing we need to do to be able to share the best of ourselves with others. We are definitely never going to be perfect, but by noticing how we are feeling, being in touch with that so we can act consciously, that will allow us to have a greater influence with anyone we interact with.  Knowing what I know now about raising teenagers and adult children, I know that there are definitely times when I have to check myself to make sure I am not influencing their feelings or behavior in a negative way.

My favorite color, the one that defines me the most accurately is Red which means excitement, love, strength, energy and passion.  When I wear Red I feel a lot of those things…

My goal in my life is to share my “color” and help as many people as possible!  Who would you most like to share your color with?