Listen to Your Body

 

“Improve by just 1% every day, and in just 100 days you are twice as good!”

 

I feel very fortunate to have always been able to listen to my body when it comes to hunger, and seem to know what I want.  I had a client I used to work with that after a few times of taking him to lunch he nicknamed me “small portions” because I only ever eat what I hear my body telling me what I need.  That way I don’t have to feeling of being bloated and I know I can eat pretty much at least a small amount of whatever I fancy!

I know that isn’t true for everyone, so after having lunch with a friend, Claudia, and she told me about her amazing book “One, Two Punch” I just knew I had to share about it and here’s why…

 

You can click on this picture to buy the book for yourself…

 

Claudia Wilson, Author and so much more!

 

How many of you know the difference between HUNGER and APPETITE?  I don’t know if I consciously knew either, at least until I read this book.  HUNGER is your body’s need to eat, APPETITE is your desire to eat.  It is a simple explanation of something that if unchecked can get even the best eater into trouble.  For example, how many of you eat when it’s TIME to eat, when you’re bored, when you’re watching TV or a movie, rather than when you’re hungry?  If any of those things are something you do all the time, then you definitely need to read this book, if you do it sometimes (and even I do it sometimes), I still don’t think it would hurt for you to read the book either 😉

If we really listen and learn how to hear what our body is telling us, we can actually not just learn to know we are hungry but also learn what our body needs to eat.  The thing about this book that I love the most is that it doesn’t say you have to diet, but it says by choosing to balance your meals and not counting calories, you can actually eat a little bit of whatever you want – remember me saying that I like to eat “a little bit of whatever I fancy”.   So, what you do is look at the amount of carbs that you have with a meal and balance that with protein and fats.  She teaches about how this method works anywhere, when you’re traveling (no need to measure or count calories), all you need to do is look at the portion size.  And here’s the best part – you measure the size of a portion by the size of your fist!  So with this method you’re not depriving yourself of ANYTHING just making better choices (and the key here is that it’s YOUR choice).

I know I have talked to friends and family and they talk about their experience with diets and how they don’t work.  It’s mainly because their choice is taken away, and pretty much everyone in the world doesn’t want to  controlled or have their choice taken away (even if it is by ourselves!)

 

 

In today’s social age we can definitely become distracted by going out to dinner with friends, chatting and not being conscious to listen to our bodies and find out if we are full.  I know I am always going to go to dinner with friends and family, so it just means I have to be paying attention a little more.  I have definitely been guilty of filling up on appetizers or bread before my meal comes and before I know it all I have eaten are carbs, and my intake is not balanced.  Obviously that doesn’t work with this method because the One, Two Punch is about balance and portion size… so now I will be more conscious about not snacking before my meal comes.  The same can also be said about eating a meal in front of the TV, especially if you’re watching something that is very intense or has your pinned to your seat.  Ultimately the key is to focus on eating while you’re eating, that way you know to drink as you eat, you can listen to your body to know when you’re full and leave food on the plate if you don’t need it.  I know it can be hard to leave food uneaten, especially if you’re out at a nice restaurant and are paying for the meal, but for you and the wellbeing of your body, knowing when to say when is also necessary!

If you are that person that has a fear of missing out, which can be one of the main reasons many quit their “diets”,  if you’re looking for something that will allow you to be more conscious about your eating – because 90% of how we look comes from what we put into our body!  Then you need to click this link or the picture of the book above, to buy the book!  Use the code STYLE to get 10% off!

I love one of the quotes in the book “There’s no wagon to fall off” – that whole “I screwed up so I’m going to restart on Monday” kind of excuse doesn’t work.

Stop beating yourself up and just work on being more conscious moving forward.  And here’s the most important thing – START NOW!!!  Go ahead, order the book and see what happens in your life.  Even if all you want to do is find a routine that helps you balance your weight and health fluctuations, this will work for you!!

And here’s another thought, this is a great Christmas gift – I have a few people in mind that I want to give this to!  At the very least, go and check out her site and read a little more for yourself…

 

 

 

(Shop my looks my clicking these links below – I may receive a small commission if you buy but that commission doesn’t come by adding that to your cost)

That Vogue Feeling

“Life is a mirror – what you see from your outside comes from your inside!”

 

Whether you’re like I was when I started this blog and hate having your picture taken, or even if you don’t mind at all, there are definitely some pictures that you HATE and those that you LOVE!

Thankfully in this digital age and with fast shutter speeds a lot of the pictures I have taken manage to capture me without my eyes closed, and some even make me have that “Vogue” feeling – where I feel like I could actually be a model.  Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t ACTUALLY think I could be in Vogue magazine, but I have learned to appreciate my beauty and definitely love finding good pictures of me.

The reason I am telling you this is that it is so important for us to see our own beauty, and like the quote says, true beauty comes from being beautiful on the inside too.  I have known a lot of people in my life that may not have had the most attractive features but once I got to know them, I realized that they were the most beautiful of all people…because they radiated that inner beauty.  The same can be said for those people that have the perfect features, and are pleasing to the eye, if they are not beautiful on the inside, that will eventually show and they won’t be seen as beautiful people.  Do you remember that movie “Shallow Hal” with Jack Black and it had a cameo from Tony Robbins who actually taught him to see the inside and not just the outside.  Once he did that he started overlooking people’s outside flaws and saw them for who they really are.

OK, so I know that Tony Robbins is not going to actually do that for each of us, but here’s a great way we can start:  We can see ourselves as beautiful, recognize beauty in others (and not just appearance beauty but the real stuff) and the more that we look for it, the more we will see it (including in ourselves).  I know a lot of people that can truly see beauty in others but have a hard time seeing it in themselves.  For whatever reason they don’t like to look for it.  Here’s what I’ll tell you, just like the lack of inner beauty eventually shows, so does the real beauty and no matter what, even if you kid yourself that you aren’t actually beautiful or deserve love, guess what, it’s going to come out in the end.  You may as well see it for yourself because it’s not something that can be permanently hidden.

 

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Perhaps it’s a worthiness, where because of something in your past you don’t feel worthy of love or anyone’s praise?  Perhaps you have heard your entire life that you aren’t beautiful from someone you trusted or loved?  Or it could even be that you have faced some type of bullying or abuse?  The only way you can change your past is by changing your future.  If you’re still believing what someone told you, how you felt, and you’re ultimately agreeing with what they said or did, then you are still allowing that person or situation to control you.  Maybe i’m the only one that has a problem with control, but I can tell you, something like that wouldn’t sit well with me – I definitely wouldn’t want to feel that someone or something else had power over me.

Don’t get me wrong, there have been times in my life when I have felt “less than” because of someone’s behavior, because of not meeting unrealistic expectations I put on myself, and many more reasons.  So, when I did eventually come to my senses and realize that in order to move through something I had to just let go, that’s when everything changed.  I have been known to have a hard time letting things go, i’m not going to lie, so when I tell you that I did it, just know that it didn’t happen overnight.  In fact it took years, and during that time when I didn’t let go I was absolutely miserable.  I had this notion that everyone should know what an injustice had been done to me, that it just wasn’t fair, and honestly I thought I was fighting back, but what I realized is that what I was doing was perpetuating the situation.

So how do we move through something so that we can start to see our beauty (and not just the mirror reflection kind of beauty)?  The easy answer is just change your thoughts, but that’s easier said than done.  So honestly, here’s what it will take…repetition, telling ourself that we are beautiful, so that eventually we start to see what others see.  And here’s the best news, as you start to see beauty in yourself, the beauty around you becomes so much more pronounced and life just starts to seem rosier!

I don’t about you but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with looking at the world through rose colored glasses – who knows we might actually start to find things and people we didn’t even know existed.

Happy Wednesday – you’ve made it to the middle of the week, there’s definitely beauty in that!

 

 

 

 

Remember the 5th of November

“If you don’t do wild things when you’re young, you’ll have nothing to smile about when you’re old!”

For those of you that know anything about the history of England you will know that today, the 5th of November, is when we celebrate Bonfire Night.  Guys Fawkes was the reason Bonfire Night started, and his story is pretty gruesome.  He tried and failed to blow up the Houses of Parliament, was held as a prisoner in the Tower of London until he was executed.  So, being a country strong on tradition, ever since then we have celebrated his failed gunpowder plot by putting a stuffed Guy Fawkes on top of a bonfire and burning it to the ground.  Kind of crazy when you think about the history, but as I was growing up I didn’t realize all that history (as I am sure many of the youth now don’t either) I just enjoyed a time to hang out with friends and family, with treacle toffee, parched peas, parkin (to name just a few of the foods we ate) along with some fireworks.

Since obviously we don’t celebrate the 4th of July in England, this was when we got to let off our fireworks and have a good time.  I must admit, I do much prefer fireworks in the summer than in November when the nights can be very cold and quite often rainy.

You might be wondering why I am telling you about this good old English tradition – well obviously the first reason is that today is the 5th November, but secondly it’s because as I sit over the other side of the Atlantic from my home country I realize that there are a lot of things, whether the reason behind them are great or not, that I miss about England.  I have traveled back there now twice in the past 2 years, and the more I go the more I realize that I had an amazing upbringing and I am very happy for the life my parents gave me over there.

There is a lot to be said about tradition and nostalgia.  There are a great many traditions that I brought over with me and I share with my family.  Remembering where we came from is a huge part in recognizing and being grateful for where we are today.  I have no plans to move back to England, however, I miss my friends, and I definitely miss a lot of the history that is everywhere over there.  It has made me feel like I want to take my kids (now that they are older) to see some of the sights, to walk down memory lane with me, and to see where I grew up.  My youngest two boys have never been over there, and I think they would love some of the places – who doesn’t love a castle or two?!

There have been times in my life when I have gone through hard things, one of which was moving over here to the US as a single mum…but now as I look back I can be grateful for that trying experience because it shaped me into who I am today.  So as I sit and think about my life and the things that have made me stronger, I feel nothing but gratitude and appreciation.  There are rewards from trials but only if we let ourselves surrender to the good that came from it.  I know in some things it is harder to find something good that came from it – and it may be something as simple as meeting someone that helped you through or admitting to yourself that you need help (a challenge for me)…

Wherever you’re from, whatever you have been through, looking back at your life with fondness and love is the only way that you can move through today into the rest of your life.  After all, nothing can drag you down if you’re not holding on to it!!

Have a fabulous Monday…

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Celebrate YOU

 

“Celebrate how far you have come & who you have become.  Today, celebrate YOU!”

 

One of the things I have realized as I have been on my career and life journey is that it is 100% OK for me to celebrate ME!  It’s important for me to recognize the good things that I do, to allow myself grace and most importantly to set clear boundaries where I allow time to take care of myself and my needs.

As a working mother, wife, friend, daughter & sister to name just a few hats I wear, I used to feel guilty if I took time for me – and I bet I’m not the only one!  Taking time for you, allowing yourself to be you and spending time appreciating the amazing qualities you have is honestly the only way you’re going to get through this life unscathed.

 

Shop my outfit by clicking any of these links – I use feeling good about how I look to strengthen my relationship with myself.

 

So how do you truly celebrate you?  Here are some of my ideas, you may have others and I would love to hear about them:

  1. When you do a good job allow yourself to receive praise.  I used to be one of those women that was uncomfortable with people complimenting me – in fact whenever someone would say something nice about me I would find myself feeling a weird sensation so I would change the subject or turn the compliment to the person that had just taken the time to say something nice to me.  Do you ever do that?  When someone says “I love your dress” or “you look cute” do you find yourself saying “YOU look cute” or “your dress or outfit is way cuter?”  I have found that it is only hard to take a compliment when you don’t feel that good about yourself.
  2. Giving yourself grace to make mistakes can be the difference between a positive self appreciation and a negative one.  We are all human, we are not always going to get things right, so why do we expect ourselves to?  I would never put the level of expectation I have for myself onto another person – it wouldn’t be fair because it’s a level that is not humanly possible to achieve, so why do I do it?  I am working on recognizing that I am not the most patient person, and I expect myself to be the best (or at least so I can see that I am working my way toward that), but when I feel like I have a setback, I tend to get frustrated with myself and don’t always think the best things.  Just the fact that I am writing this and putting it out there lets you know that I realize that it’s OK and that I am cutting myself some slack!
  3. Feed yourself emotionally.  We all have different things that make us feel good, and whatever that is, we should do more of it.  I love to spend time with my family (especially when not everyone is fighting), read, hike, shop, ride my bike, take a really hot bath at night, exercise regularly, hang out with friends, and every once in a while a good pedicure or massage is just what I need.  Your list is going to be completely different than mine, so work from your list.  If you love to cook or bake then that is where you’re going to want to spend more time.  The point is, we are fed by doing things we love, so why do we not do more of them?
  4. Connection is something that we are humans were meant to do.  Whether you are married or not, my guess is that you have at least one relationship in your life that makes you feel good.  We weren’t made to be alone.  I do realize that for some people even when they are surrounded by people that love them there can still be that feeling of being alone.  Even if it’s not something you feel all the time, there have probably been times that this is true.  I have found that when I focus on the love that I have for myself and nurture my relationship with ME, the loneliness will very often subside.

Celebrate who you are, celebrate the amazing person that this world needs.  No matter who you are there is a reason you’re here and there is something you can do to make this world a better place.  Just believe in YOU!

The weekend is almost here – find something to do for yourself!

 

 

The Power of Music

 

“And for that one moment while the music plays.  You know who you are and everything you wish to be!”

 

Do you have a ritual or something you do that gets you ready for a hard task you need to complete, or to just make you feel better?  Music can have such a positive influence in our lives if we find the right music to get us pumped up.

There are so many options out there for good music, and there are so many bad ones as well.  I am more drawn to a beat than I am the words, but definitely the words (especially if they aren’t good words) do have an impact on us.  I love to listen to a wide variety of music, and I tend to focus on certain types to achieve different results.  When I am wanting to feel like I want to dance or just feel good, I listen to rap, hip hop, R&B, a little pop and disco.  I like NWA (I know, not typical), I love Mary J Blige, P!nk can really get me pumped up, love a little Rihanna, Drake, Travis Scott, and so many others.  If I want to feel inspired I listen to songs like “This is Me” from the Greatest Showman, “Unstoppable” by Sia, and a few others that help me to remember why I am here and how great I should feel about myself.

Music has been used to centuries for inspiration, and many other reasons, so there must be something to this theory.  I have had times in my working career where I could become distracted by negativity, and I would use music through headphones to block out the “noise” and help me to focus on the things that were important.  As I have been working with Brandon and going to his Live events, we use music to create a certain mood.  We use it to help people get out of their comfort zones, and I have seen it work amazing wonders. In fact, the more I see it, the more I want to use it in my life.

He goes through a ritual every morning and listens to music to wake him up, to get him ready to take on the day and the make sure his mind is in the place it needs to be so that he can be there for the people that NEED him.  I love that music can do that, I love that just by listening to the beat, the words and by letting that music take you places, you can honestly change your state and put yourself in a better mood, create the energy you need to accomplish anything if you really want to put your mind to it.

 

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Even when I am at home and I have to clean the house, the task doesn’t seem so bad when I have music on and it can take me away from what I am doing.  Driving long distances in the car becomes a lot more tolerable when you can listen to some great music.

As I started to think about Brandon’s LIVE events, his morning ritual and the feelings that I have when I listen to some music that speaks to me, I started to think more and more about it.  What I realized is that music and it’s artists really do have a power, and it’s there for us to use if we choose to!  We can harness the power of music and use it to our advantage.  You may already be doing it without even being aware, but my guess is that if you set yourself up with a great routine or ritual of listening to inspirational and motivational music before you do something that is important to you, the results will actually end up being better.

I have a few playlists loaded in my iPhone, different ones for different reasons, so that when I am working out, driving to work or a meeting, or even just having a hard emotional time, I can call on that playlist to help me change my state.

As I sit writing this post I have some background music, not something that distracts me from what I am writing, but rather music that makes me FEEL so that I can be real and write something that hopefully resonates with you.  You’ll have to let me know…;)

Now Monday is here, and let’s be honest Monday’s don’t have the best reputation, why not start incorporating more “good” music into your life.  Should you choose to accept this challenge – I would love to hear how it worked for you.

Have a great week!

 

Make No Excuses – Just Goals

 

“Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment!”

 

Do you have goals?  Even if you think you don’t, I am sure there are some things that you want to achieve.  It could be as simple as decorating your home, raising your kids to be respectful, or even just about eating healthy.  What one thing do all these goals have in common?  They require WORK to get there!

Have you ever found yourself imaging your future, the home you’ll live in, the career you’ll have, standing at your kids’ weddings next to the bride or groom with pride all over your face?  To imagine is completely normal, but the only way you will actually get there is by doing at least some work.

In order to stand next to your kids on their wedding day requires you having a good relationship with them (WORK), to have the career you want (EFFORT), to move homes (WORK, TO BE ABLE TO AFFORD IT).  The thing that I have noticed in my 20 year career in sales is that unfortunately a lot of people want the reward without the effort.  The problem with that is that our imaginations can create AMAZING realities, but when we are in our actual reality it looks bleak in comparison.

It is only my second day in my new career, and I can tell you that it has its challenges, the grass is not always going to be greener, but the one thing that I have going for me is that no matter what I am not afraid to put in the effort.  Working hard is not the most important thing, working smart needs to be part of it as well.  I have found myself having to think a lot more about structuring my day to include tasks I want to accomplish, the things I need to do, along with things that I know will distract me if I don’t schedule time for them.

We have so many distractions in our life that if we don’t schedule time for those distractions we will become swept away, and when the option of doing a harder task versus something that is more fun, we will always welcome the fun one if we haven’t planned ahead.  For example, as I sit writing this blog I have probably had 20 emails, 3 texts, not to mention the phone call from one of my boys.  Obviously some distractions can’t be avoided (I try to never miss a call from my kids, even though most of the time it’s about drama or something I wish I didn’t have to deal with), but the big question is…do we welcome those distractions.  I will definitely admit that when I am doing mundane tasks I tend to become more easily distracted and tend to stay that way for longer.

So, now we know what we have to deal with on a daily basis..how do we  handle it effectively?  I have found that I allocate myself a certain amount of time on a task, and once that time is up I switch to another task.  If I haven’t completed the first task I can always go back to it.  This helps me with my focus,  my boredom and most importantly I allow myself a little break (even if it’s just a bathroom break) so I don’t become burned out!

 

 

I don’t always do work outdoors like I am in this post, but there are definitely times when a little fresh air can be exactly what the doctor ordered – maybe you can give it a try (although it’s been pretty cold here in Utah, so I won’t be able to do it soon!)

Today is Wednesday – what have you accomplished this week already and what do you still want to achieve?  Comment below…

A New Start

“You only ever get in life things that you have the courage to ask for!”

 

I’ve talked a little about my new beginnings over the past week or so…well, the day is finally here!

Have you ever started something new and found it a little challenging to switch your mind to the new things you will be focusing on?  This morning when I woke up I still had to get the kids ready and off for school, but the direction of my office, the things I need to accomplish, what I could wear, who I was going to meet with…all different.  After 15 years working in the same office, doing essentially the same job,  it had definitely become second nature..so what now?

Sometimes it’s easier to stay doing what we are familiar with rather than to take a risk, especially when you hear others around you questioning whether you can do it, or we may even start to question ourselves.  When I was in High School in England I remember going to parent teacher conferences/career night – I believe I was around 14 years old.  I met with my Biology teacher and my parents and at that time I had wanted to do something in the medical field.  I loved the sciences and they seemed to come easy to me.  As we sat there that teacher asked me what I was wanting to study in College and when I told her that I wanted to study Medicine or something like that she actually said to me “If I were you, I would set my sights lower”!

Wow!  Can you imagine the self esteem of a 14 year old at that point.  Well, here’s what happened, I decided to dig my heels in, I went to college, and worked my butt off to get my degree in Physiology with Microbiology.   As I was studying I found that I liked to meet new people, embraced challenges and love to develop long term relationships built on trust.  Consequently, when I was done with my degree I decided to apply for a job in Pharmaceutical sales.  In England in the early 90’s there weren’t many women doing that job and even though I had multiple interviews I found that it was a very sexist environment.   My self esteem took a beating again.  I was told by one interviewer that if I wanted a job where I was going to meet with Doctors I would need to wear short skirts.  The ironic thing about that is that the person telling me was actually a woman!  I am not someone that likes to be backed into a corner, and at that age I was a lot more naive, so I told her NO!  I would not do that.  Needless to say I didn’t get the job.

After a couple of years trying unsuccessfully to get a job in pharmaceutical sales, I decided to move over to the US – where I thought I would have an easier time as a woman in a career.  I got a job in Radio advertising sales so that I could gain some sales experience before I started applying for more sales jobs in the medical industry.  After a few years in radio, I moved into TV and then onto cable, where I have been working for the past 15 years.

 

 

Whilst working in cable advertising sales I found that I was experiencing very similar things to those I experienced when I was back in England.  I had to work twice as hard to get to the top, and I was the top.  I had to overcome men that were intimidated by strong women and people that were put in positions of management certainly not because of their experiences or qualifications to do the job, but rather because they were part of the “good old boys club” or had a friend that put them there.  What I realized is that I have NO control over what people say to me, how they treat me or whether things are “fair”.  What I do have control over is whether I let that define who I am.

I developed many amazing relationships while I was in the media industry and I am extremely grateful for those relationships.  I also refined my tenacity, my determination, my resilience and my confidence.  I learned that I could rise to the top no matter how someone treated me.  I learned that I am really good at what I do and now I have the opportunity to prove that to myself even more as I embark on a career that I get to control more.

I will be working with my husband that is a mindset and motivational coach, as well as working on my blog.  I feel like both work really well together, and I am excited for what our future holds.

I would not change anything that has happened to guide me on the path that I am on in my life.  I have learned a lot of what I am capable of and I have grown so much.  I have learned to love myself and not just because I look a certain way or I am successful in my career.  If I had placed too much emphasis on my career performance these past few years where I was challenged way more than anyone in a career should be, would have certainly diminished my self esteem.  Instead, it fired me up, it made me want to make more of my life!

Taking risks and starting new things are sometimes easier said than done.  It takes a lot of courage to walk away from something, but it can also be the most rewarding thing you have ever done.  I realized that I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life wondering “what if” or thinking that I had settled.  What about you?  What risks are you willing to take to grow?

 

 

Feel Good in your own Skin

“The best gift you can ever give yourself is the permission to feel safe in your own skin.  To feel worthy, and like you are enough!”

Feeling good in your own skin is so much more than being confident in how you look…it is more about who you are as a person and how you feel about that person.

We all came into this world the same way, but our experiences and our relationships in our lives shape us into who we are today. Sometimes those experiences can  cause us to feel insecure, lacking in confidence, or even make us feel like we are not good enough.  It can be hard to move through things that trigger us, or make us feel like this, but there are definitely steps we can take to help soften us and allow us to feel more worthy, more comfortable in our own skin and ultimately more confident.

I have found that the more I give myself grace for not being perfect, and the more I don’t compare myself or what I do to others, the better I feel about myself.  I can tell you that this getting older thing is not for the faint of heart.  I didn’t realize how much it affected me until I saw some pictures of me when I was younger, and noticed that I have laughter lines, I have wrinkles I had chosen not to notice before and that perhaps my muscles aren’t as toned as they once were.

 

 

So, as we go through life, how do we feel good about ourselves even as these things happen?

Here are a few things that help me – maybe they’ll help you too:

  1. Take care of yourself – for me this can be as simple as taking a bath at night, reading a good book or just having a small amount of time to be left with my thoughts.  I like to be unpredictable, so for me going on a bike ride in a different direction, walking the dog a different route or even driving home a different way allow me to feel free and let the stresses of the day go a little.  We don’t all have the same things that relax us or make us feel good, so whatever it is for you, that’s what you need to do.  It seems like the world is advertising to us all the time about what we should do, eat, wear, and like…but ultimately whatever it is that makes YOU feel good, well that’s what you need to do!
  2. Focus on the good – it’s easy to be critical about your flaws or what is wrong with you…so what if every time you saw something that you didn’t like about you, in turn you found something to appreciate about that thing.  For example, I always had a really flat stomach and that’s not the case anymore…but here’s the best part – I have 4 boys that I am immensely grateful for,  and I wouldn’t trade a little bit of a stomach for any of those kids.  Another could be the wrinkles around my eyes – but I appreciate that I have had plenty to laugh about in this life.
  3. Embrace your Uniqueness – we are all created to be different,  so why would we want to change who we are in order to fit in?  I am very lucky that my parents always encouraged me to embrace my unique, quirky and feisty personality, because I wouldn’t be who I am today if I hadn’t.  Society teaches about fitting in all the time, and social media only accentuates that need…but what if we considered that the world just wouldn’t be as it should without US and what unique traits we have to offer.
  4. Don’t be afraid to be alone – before I met Brandon I was a single mom for about 5 years, and during that time I really wanted to meet someone to settle down.  What I realized is that I wasn’t ready to meet him until I was 100% OK with being alone.  I love the time I spend by myself, not that I don’t love the company of my family or my friends, but I also need that time to make me the best I can be for all of them.  Taking time to be alone to read, to contemplate, meditate, or exercise are great ways for us to enjoy alone time.
  5. Do things that make you happy – as you have probably noticed by now, one of my biggest loves is travel.  I love to travel with Brandon, with my kids, my friends and even alone.  The thrill of exploring new places, enjoying sunshine, waterfalls, the ocean, the forest, and many, many other things is really the reason I work.  Even going out of town for business is a huge thrill for me because I usually get at least a little time to relax.  I love to shop (I know, shocker), I love to go to movies and dinner with my family, I love river rafting, hiking, biking and sunbathing.  By doing any of these things we are able to fill our cups to make us better for ourself and those around us.

 

Oh and if by wearing some funky boots, or a fabulous leather skirt makes you feel as good as it makes me feel…I’ve linked my boots and the rest of my outfit (or similar pieces) below…


The Beauty of Simplicity

 

Overthinking is a PRISON of your own cursed thoughts – it’s where you get tangled!”

I have found that I may be a little bit of an over-thinker (for those of you that know me, not a shock I am sure!)  For some reason, and that reason is not logical, I seem to make things harder on myself by creating scenarios in my head, telling myself stories and just basically thinking about things that I have no need to think about.

I am sure you can imagine the problems something like this can cause…like, being worried about something that doesn’t even exist (except in my mind), causing my brain to be working overtime which creates exhaustion,  even when I am not aware that it is doing it.  I don’t know about you but logically I realize that this is reducing my productivity, creating stress, irritability and it can even cause lack of motivation.  Changing my thoughts or getting them under control is easier said than done, however, now that I am conscious that I do this, it makes it easier to recognize when things come up for me, so I can not let them take off running by themselves 😉

This thought process can also be something that we do when we think about how we dress and our style.  Have you ever found yourself worrying about what you are going to wear, overthinking it and then just throwing anything on because you don’t have the energy to worry about it.  It can definitely be a vicious cycle where we end up not feeling the best about ourselves because we are not allowing ourselves to take care of ourselves.  Even if you are not a follower of fashion or someone that cares about the latest trends, most of us still care what we look like and (whether we like it or not) it is important what others think about how we look.  So how do we create a space so that we can still look great, and not have to create drama or overthink it at the same time?

Keeping it simple is 100% the answer.  Once you start worrying about adding accessories, the shoes, the bag, whether you should wear a belt, the colors or patterns that suit you, and whether fabrics can be worn together or not it can become waaay too complicated and overwhelming.  So, here’s what I think:  stick to simple pieces, don’t worry about getting fancy, and don’t read too many fashion magazines that might make you feel like you are failing because you aren’t wearing the latest trends.

 

 

My outfit in this post is so simple, yet it’s still ME and classy.  A simple black dress (yes, the sleeves are little bit fancy, but it is just one piece to worry about), a pair of my style of booties,  and that is IT!  Nothing else to think about.

If you ever find yourself becoming overwhelmed by fashion, the first step is don’t try to be someone you are not.  The next step is to not give up, just try something that makes you feel good instead of just throwing in the towel.  Fashion is really there for us to take and make our own, not for us all to be walking around looking the same…because if it was, there would only ever be available one style, one color and one fabric.  Clothes are unique, and they are ours to mold into who WE are, not the other way around.

I honestly believe that the more confident we become in owning who we are, the easier style will come to us, and the better we will feel about ourselves.

My confidence comes from feeling good about how I look, what I accomplish, who I am but most importantly that I am a good person because it makes me feel good to help others.

 

The Effect of Positivity

“Change your thoughts and you change your world!”

Are you someone that notices the energy of people or picks up on “vibes” in certain situations?

I am a firm believer in positivity and what that can do for you.  Basically, whatever energy you surround yourself with, positive or negative, that is the energy you are going to see more of.  It can also be said about our thoughts and what we are thinking.  Have you ever noticed that when you are feeling good, happy or not worried about something that more good things just seem to happen?  Or conversely that when something doesn’t go the way you want it to, and the more you focus on that bad thing, the more similar things seem to happen?

Even though I believe in attracting good things, I don’t mean in a way that it requires no action.  I just mean it in a way that if you want good or positive things to happen, then it is in your best interest to focus on more positive things.  It’s easy to think that because our thoughts are essentially invisible that nobody knows and they can’t do any harm, but that simply isn’t true.  In fact, I have most definitely learned the hard way that I need to focus on the things that I am grateful for rather than worrying about the things I don’t have.

If any of you out there have kids you will probably know this is true – tell a kid to NOT jump on the furniture, what they more often than not hear is the “jump on the furniture part”…

Positivity attracts more positivity, and so on!

 

It’s definitely easier to be positive or happy IF or WHEN something happens than it is even when things aren’t going the way you want them to.  I may or may not have mentioned this before, but I absolutely hate rain.  On my recent trip to Norway and Scotland, we definitely experienced some rain, wind, colder temperatures and things that might have totally put a damper on our whole trip.  So you may be thinking “how could I possibly feel anything but amazing being on vacation in this places and seeing the amazing scenery that I did”…well, it is definitely possible.  In fact, at one point in my life, I would have been so focused on how much I hated the rain, how cold it was or that things weren’t going EXACTLY the way I wanted them to…

I constantly battle with triggers & learning to change my response to them.  What I have found is that even though certain things do still trigger me, I am getting better at my response.  I am not letting the negativity or my sometimes unrealistic expectations control me!  I enjoyed every moment of my trip, rain, cold and all.  I traded my expectations for appreciations and let me tell you, I much prefer that kind of experience.

Even returning back to work after being gone for 10 days was not a chore for me…that has to be a WIN all in itself, right?

Happy Thursday – as the weekend approaches focus on positive self talk, and positive thoughts…let me know if you notice a difference 🙂

Shop my look by clicking the links below…