I was going to write about this later in the month of December but after the events of my weekend, I knew I had to write it today!
Saturday night was pretty normal, I went to sleep around 12:30am, and at around 1:30am Brandon woke me up because he was having severe pains in his abdomen and chest. After I saw how panicked he was, and how much pain he was in we decided to head to the E.R. They were amazing and got us straight in…and immediately ruled out his heart as causing the pain – which was a huge relief!
We were taken back to a room where then took blood for some further testing, put him on monitors etc. etc. and kept checking in with us about every 1/2 hour. After they had ascertained that it wasn’t a heart issue, they ruled out gallbladder and gave him a G.I. cocktail. It is basically Lidocaine and Maalox, and after about 1 hour his pain was almost gone.
It took hours to get the labs back, and when they did they thought he could be suffering from pancreatitis, so to rule that out they had him eat some crackers. Because there was no pain from that, and the fact that the cocktail made him feel better, they thought it was very likely to be acid reflux with esophageal spasm.
OK, so I know that was a very detailed story, and the reason I wanted to share all of that with you was because that is kind of what kept me going. I immediately went into the role of helping him, being there for him and not even thinking about the fact that I hadn’t had any sleep.
As I contemplate my life with Brandon, I realize that I haven’t always been the most amazing wife, I sometimes let my needs be all consuming, and because of my past life and relationship experiences I have, at times, not allowed myself to be completely vulnerable and present with him. Going through something like we did on Saturday night, even though it turned out that it wasn’t life threatening, we didn’t know that when we were in it. It certainly made me pause to be grateful for having him in my life.
Do you ever find yourself being so caught up in living your life that you don’t have time to appreciate how amazing your life is? I was talking to a friend who also has kids that are getting older now, and we both agreed that having young kids was one of the best times in our lives…but when I was raising a house full of boys, the chaos, the mess, the tantrums, and the lack of freedom sometimes caused me to wish away those years to the day that I would be able to leave them at home alone! Now that my boys are getting older, I have less and less control, I hate that they are not the snuggly little boys that they used to be and I wish I could bring back all the wonder and excitement they had around learning new things.
Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love my life, and I love this stage of my kids too – I have definitely learned not to wish away the time, but I am also grateful for all the younger years too. The years that both they were and I was younger…the years that they were excited to go to the movies with their parents and hanging out with us was always a first choice 😉
There are so many things that I feel gratitude for, especially at this time of year, because I allow myself enough time to slow down and notice the things that are important in our lives. Having a family I love, working side by side with my husband helping people improve their lives, having a home I love, friends I couldn’t live without, sharing my experiences and hopefully helping others know that they are capable of anything they set their mind to via my blog and so much more.
I choose to pause and feel gratitude every day so that when I contemplate what I have in my life I don’t have any regrets…and that I am able to share my appreciation and love with others!
What would you answer if you asked yourself every day “what do I have to be thankful for RIGHT NOW”…even when things are going wrong, there is always something to feel gratitude for!