“The best gift you can ever give yourself is the permission to feel safe in your own skin. To feel worthy, and like you are enough!”
Feeling good in your own skin is so much more than being confident in how you look…it is more about who you are as a person and how you feel about that person.
We all came into this world the same way, but our experiences and our relationships in our lives shape us into who we are today. Sometimes those experiences can cause us to feel insecure, lacking in confidence, or even make us feel like we are not good enough. It can be hard to move through things that trigger us, or make us feel like this, but there are definitely steps we can take to help soften us and allow us to feel more worthy, more comfortable in our own skin and ultimately more confident.
I have found that the more I give myself grace for not being perfect, and the more I don’t compare myself or what I do to others, the better I feel about myself. I can tell you that this getting older thing is not for the faint of heart. I didn’t realize how much it affected me until I saw some pictures of me when I was younger, and noticed that I have laughter lines, I have wrinkles I had chosen not to notice before and that perhaps my muscles aren’t as toned as they once were.
So, as we go through life, how do we feel good about ourselves even as these things happen?
Here are a few things that help me – maybe they’ll help you too:
- Take care of yourself – for me this can be as simple as taking a bath at night, reading a good book or just having a small amount of time to be left with my thoughts. I like to be unpredictable, so for me going on a bike ride in a different direction, walking the dog a different route or even driving home a different way allow me to feel free and let the stresses of the day go a little. We don’t all have the same things that relax us or make us feel good, so whatever it is for you, that’s what you need to do. It seems like the world is advertising to us all the time about what we should do, eat, wear, and like…but ultimately whatever it is that makes YOU feel good, well that’s what you need to do!
- Focus on the good – it’s easy to be critical about your flaws or what is wrong with you…so what if every time you saw something that you didn’t like about you, in turn you found something to appreciate about that thing. For example, I always had a really flat stomach and that’s not the case anymore…but here’s the best part – I have 4 boys that I am immensely grateful for, and I wouldn’t trade a little bit of a stomach for any of those kids. Another could be the wrinkles around my eyes – but I appreciate that I have had plenty to laugh about in this life.
- Embrace your Uniqueness – we are all created to be different, so why would we want to change who we are in order to fit in? I am very lucky that my parents always encouraged me to embrace my unique, quirky and feisty personality, because I wouldn’t be who I am today if I hadn’t. Society teaches about fitting in all the time, and social media only accentuates that need…but what if we considered that the world just wouldn’t be as it should without US and what unique traits we have to offer.
- Don’t be afraid to be alone – before I met Brandon I was a single mom for about 5 years, and during that time I really wanted to meet someone to settle down. What I realized is that I wasn’t ready to meet him until I was 100% OK with being alone. I love the time I spend by myself, not that I don’t love the company of my family or my friends, but I also need that time to make me the best I can be for all of them. Taking time to be alone to read, to contemplate, meditate, or exercise are great ways for us to enjoy alone time.
- Do things that make you happy – as you have probably noticed by now, one of my biggest loves is travel. I love to travel with Brandon, with my kids, my friends and even alone. The thrill of exploring new places, enjoying sunshine, waterfalls, the ocean, the forest, and many, many other things is really the reason I work. Even going out of town for business is a huge thrill for me because I usually get at least a little time to relax. I love to shop (I know, shocker), I love to go to movies and dinner with my family, I love river rafting, hiking, biking and sunbathing. By doing any of these things we are able to fill our cups to make us better for ourself and those around us.
Oh and if by wearing some funky boots, or a fabulous leather skirt makes you feel as good as it makes me feel…I’ve linked my boots and the rest of my outfit (or similar pieces) below…