When you hear the word strut what does it make you think about? It reminds me of what models do on a runway, or what a really confident person does instead of just walking…
Of course to model on a catwalk or runway you have to feel pretty self-assured and confident, so where do you get that confidence from?
We all come from different backgrounds, we all look different, we all have different personalities and we all like different things…so what makes one person more confident than another? After having 4 boys I can tell you that a certain amount of that confidence is something you’re born with (because although all my boys are self-assured, some have it more than others), but a lot of your confidence comes from what you are told when you are young – either your parents or people you interact with tell you things that you can choose to believe or not. I have a brother that is one of the most loving, caring, amazing people I know, but for some reason a lot of his life he hasn’t really believed that himself. It could be that he had some experiences early on in his adulthood that shaped him, or it could also just be that sometimes we don’t feel worthy or good enough to love ourselves to the extent we need to so that we feel good about himself. I can tell you that he is good looking, very fit, very intelligent and would do anything for anyone, believes and encourages those around him, but for some reason he hasn’t for a long time believed that he could be or do anything he set his mind to. I feel like know he is coming out the other side of that lack of confidence, but it caused me to wonder where confidence really does come from.
We were raised in the same home (although some might say being a girl and boy in the same home isn’t the same), we were loved the same (at least I think so), and we were given the same chances and opportunities. The biggest thing I can see on the surface is that he is more sensitive than I am and got hurt a lot easier than I did…Being caring and sensitive is obviously a wonderful thing, but I have this part in me that when someone does something to me, says something to me, or tries to hurt me…it kind of fuels me even more. In the fight, flight or freeze scenario I am a fighter, I will come out swinging…
Because I love my brother so much I have always been amazed at how he couldn’t see himself how I and everyone else around him saw him…which is an amazing, talented, loving and caring man.
So, as I contemplated where confidence truly comes from, I came to the conclusion that it is a choice. It truly is a decision to fight for yourself, believe in yourself, trust yourself, and most importantly love yourself. If we don’t do these things for ourselves then why would anyone else want to do them for us. Essentially we teach people how to treat us – and that comes from how we treat ourselves.
It’s almost a cycle, the more confident you feel, the more great things you attract to yourself, which in turn gives you more confidence. So how do you make that choice to feel confident? There have definitely been times in my life when things have happened to me where it has caused me to doubt my value, and honestly the only thing that has helped me is focusing on one or two things that I truly can appreciate and love about myself and feel grateful for.
I can promise you, no matter where you want to go, what you want to accomplish and who you truly want to become, if you start by loving and appreciating yourself and all the amazing unique things you bring to this life, the more likely you are going to be to accomplish them.
So if you want to make this really simple, if you have a hard time finding something you can appreciate about yourself, you can start with taking care, and pride in how you look. It doesn’t mean you have to go out and spend a ton of money on makeup, beauty products, clothes, shoes or bags, it just means making the most of what YOU have! As I get ready in the morning, I am always conscious about making sure I like what I see in the mirror (not because I am vain and love looking at myself), but because when I know I have made an effort I can strut and walk more confidently…
Give it a try…I think you’ll like what you see 🙂