“A Woman is the full circle. Within her is the power to create, nurture and transform!”
I was raised in a home with only boys…meaning that there was a lot more physical fighting to resolve differences rather than negotiating. I am the oldest, but that didn’t mean I could avoid the fights, but rather I had to become smarter about how I did it. After about the age of 12 I couldn’t match up physically with my brothers, but I could outsmart them. I learned some tricks (OK, some of them were dirty) but nevertheless, I not only survived my youth but I actually thrived.
For me being raised in such an environment taught me mental and physical toughness. I am not a quitter, and I don’t like to appear vulnerable (it was considered a weakness). Even after telling you all these things, I can tell you that it didn’t take away my feminine side. In fact, it has taught me to embrace what God gave me, and make the most of it wherever possible.
So, let’s get down to it – what are my tips for feeling feminine and using that femininity to your advantage – because, I believe that we were all given gifts, so why not develop them and use them?
- Wear a nice smelling perfume or body lotion. I know not everyone will agree with this one, but whether you like strong smells or not, when you wear a perfume, that perfume contains chemicals that our bodies react to…and some certain smells are going to make us “feel” good. It’s a physiological thing – give it a try 🙂
- Choose your fabrics wisely – ever noticed that when you are snuggled up on the couch with a blanket, you feel safe, secure and cozy? Fabrics and how they feel on our skin can also evoke certain feelings. Silk, for example feels luxurious, sexy and feminine, whereas fleece is more about keeping warm. Choose the fabrics that fit the mood you are trying to create!
- Take care in how you speak – I have been known to intimidate people because I can be very direct. That is not my intention, however, that is the response that it creates. So, when I am embracing my femininity I am much more conscious about not only what I say, but mostly how I say it. Being direct is something that is very controversial, I feel like it is frowned upon when Women do it, however, what I have found is that I can still be direct and concise, but if I do it with a non-aggressive tone, I am much more likely to find positive results.
- Wear your favorite colors – certain colors make us look and feel more confident and vibrant. Bright colors are a great way to show off your personality – not to worry if you are not a fan of bright, bold colors…just add a pop of color in an accessory or lipstick to add that extra dimension to your look.
- Go old school – in history Women wore many more dresses and skirts, in fact, they even wore them when they were doing tasks the same as the men such as farm work, etc. Even if you are not a fan of skirts or dresses, you have to admit that when you see someone wearing a skirt or dress, you notice the legs, the shoes, pretty much the whole look draws you in. I’m not saying you have to wear a skirt or dress every day (heaven knows I wouldn’t do that) but perhaps you add to your feminine style repertoire you could add them in every once in a while.
- Don’t try to too hard – being feminine is something that is subtle yet confident. Less is so much more, wearing too many ruffles, pleats, patterns or lace can just be too overwhelming and create a really confusing look.
- Recognize your strength – femininity is not weak (contrary to popular belief), in fact throughout history many strong Women have shown their feminine side. When I was younger and much more immature, I thought that in order to get anything done, I had to be aggressive and overpowering. What I have come to realize is that there is so much power in femininity and actually it is much better to embrace your femininity and approach things that way.
- Take pride in your appearance – I know there may be a popular belief in Men that we as Women dress for them (should we let them into our secret?)…We all know that confident, self assured Women are themselves and dress present themselves the way that THEY want to! With that being said, it is important to take pride in your appearance, but for yourself. Wear your hair in the way that makes you feel great about yourself, and your hygiene should be good. There’s nothing wrong with wearing something that accentuates your curves, so long as you are doing it for the right reasons 🙂
- Be a good listener – I have found that I feel better about myself when I know I am there for people. Loyalty in friendship is vital to my wellbeing, so when I am THERE for my friends, it makes me feel better as a person.
- Be confident – if you do the things listed above, you are most likely going to feel this anyway, so why not show it off. There is nothing more attractive than a confident Woman. When I say attractive I don’t just mean in a sexual sense, but also in the way that people will want to be around you. The better you feel about yourself, the better people will feel about you and hence want to soak up that confidence.
I no longer believe that being feminine is weak – I believe that it is a gift we have been given and we should nurture it. It was never hard for me to dress in a feminine way, but my actions and behaviors were sometimes contradictory…I am still a very assertive, confident woman, but I am working on presenting myself in softer ways!